A Different Life
by Joy4Life
Summary: "You might want to keep me around." She never expected him to actually do it. She just wanted to buy some time. But days turned to weeks, and weeks turned into months. It was then she realized she had bought far too much time.
1. Chapter 1

After mulling over this story line for a few months, it has finally become a reality. Reader beware: this is a Save Benson story. Please heed the rating. This chapter does include rape and small flashbacks of torture. This is my first story, so all feedback is welcome!

* * *

Her stomach lurched and her free hand reached for the trash can. She gagged a few times but nothing came up. She felt like she had been hit by a truck. The trash can landed back on the floor with a thud. At least she had one this time.

Olivia rolled her eyes and buried her head into her arm. That's what happens when you spend four months with William Lewis. You become grateful for a trash can. The little things that made life suck just a tiny bit less. Things like a blanket, a bottle of water...an empty roll of duct tape. She looked down and frowned at the thick tape binding her legs. It had been awhile since he ran out of duct tape.

Her eyes scanned across the pale yellow bedroom. Rope and knives laid on top of the gray dresser, cans of 5 Krazy littered the floor, and broken glass glittered in the corner. The room's condition left no doubt that violence had occurred. Olivia closed her eyes as the moments started to play back in her head.

Glowing wire melting her skin. Sharp knives slicing into her like a cheese grater. Hoarse cries filling the room. Metal cutting into her scarred wrists, pain radiating down her arms. The pain was too intense. She needed him to stop. She needed the pain to stop. But it never did.

Olivia cringed at the memories, hating each one of them. She shifted on the bed, trying to find a comfortable spot. She shook her head in an attempt to clear the flashbacks. Maybe she could catch some sleep before he came back.

"Hey sweetheart. Feeling better this morning?"

Olivia felt her heart sink. So much for that idea. She kept her eyes closed, hoping he would leave her alone.

"Time to get up, sweetheart." His tone was flat. "I know you're awake. Don't play me."

Olivia reluctantly opened her sluggish eyes and found Lewis glowering at her.

"You look awful." Lewis looked down at the partially full trash can with disdain.

Olivia started to retort this was his fault - not hers, but the anger in his eyes made her rethink that decision. She had learned to choose her battles, and making Lewis mad when he was clearly already disgruntled would not end well for her.

Lewis moved the trash can and reached for Olivia. "Let's clean you up."

The handcuffs attaching her left wrist to the bed frame rattled as Lewis pulled her to a sitting position. Her arm slowly came to life, pins and needles attacking it from the shoulder down.

Lewis freed her from the bed post and pulled her arms behind her back. Olivia winced as the handcuffs clicked tightly in place.

He kneeled in front of her and brought out his knife. She froze at the cold blade sliding against her skin.

A rip sounded as Lewis sliced the duct tape in half, freeing her legs. She let out a small grunt of pain as Lewis tore it off her bare legs faster than most people rip off a bandaid.

Lewis looked up at her, his eyes seeming to battle between mischief and anger. "Can't very well clean you up like that."

Olivia eyed the knife in his hand. "Maybe you could take the cuffs off, and I could save you the trouble."

Lewis narrowed his eyes. "You know better than that."

Yes. Yes, she did know better. But the idea of Lewis cleaning her up made her anxious to try any alternative.

Lewis pulled Olivia to her feet, holding the knife at her throat. "Don't move." His eyes were hard, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Olivia winced as the knife tore through her baggy shirt. The cold air slid over her like an ice cube. Shame heated her face. Even after all this time, she still felt so humiliated at being stripped.

Lewis scanned her naked body before shoving her towards the bathroom. He pushed her with purpose, firmly closing the bathroom door behind them.

"Get in," Lewis muttered, shoving her into the shower. He fumbled with the faucet, and Olivia suddenly felt a jet of ice water pelt her face.

Sputtering under the water, she glared daggers at him. Lewis frowned at her before focusing back on the faucet.

After a few minutes, the water began to thaw. Lewis straightened, seemingly satisfied with the toasty temperature. "Turn around." Lewis met her tired eyes. "Now."

Olivia studied him. It seemed anger had won this round. She thought about making a run for it but saw he was now holding the gun. How long had he been holding it? She thought he had a knife? The cobwebs in her head made it difficult to think.

Lewis made a growl of impatience and grabbed her arm.

Olivia didn't fight him, there was no point. She closed her eyes against the dizziness as he turned her around. She was so tired. Her eyes blinked open and lowered to her rounding figure. She was starting to show. Her chest tightened as a wave of guilt crashed over her shoulders. She never knew how to feel about this. She gave up on having a baby years ago. To have it come true now, to share that dream with someone so vile as William Lewis was more painful than the physical torture she endured.

Lewis stepped into the shower behind her, snapping her out of her thoughts. Olivia groaned as his bare chest made contact with her back. Not again.

Almost tenderly, Lewis washed her from head to toe. Slowly, the sweat and vomit were wiped away. Olivia noted that dark red also swirled into the drain. Her brow furrowed as she searched her mind for where the blood could be coming from.

She felt his hands on her back. Olivia recoiled at his warm breath tickling her ear. "Junior give you a rough time last night?" Lewis chuckled. "Guess he takes after his daddy."

Her stomach rolled. She wasn't sure if it was the morning sickness or the idea she could have his son inside her. Olivia frowned. Whatever the case, he did have a point. Whether it was a boy or a girl, the baby was taking its toll. Her stomach was on a roller coaster of starvation and nausea. Nothing tasted good. Everything gave her indigestion, and her eyes burned with a lack of sleep.

Lewis ran his fingers through her hair, brushing it to the side. His warm lips grazed her neck. "I can make that up to you." He twisted her around and trapped her in the corner of the shower. He smirked at her anxious expression.

Olivia swallowed hard, not sure what he was planning. He brought his face close to hers, anger returning to his eyes. "One move and I'll get the blowtorch."

The color left her face. Blistered skin, charred flesh, the searing pain, it all came flooding back. She had no desire to experience it again.

Lewis kept one arm against her neck, his eyes never leaving her face. He knew she would behave. The blowtorch was more effective than the gun.

Olivia set her jaw as he explored her body. She could endure this just as she had before. She started counting the blue diamonds on the bathroom wall, trying to distract herself from the hand sliding across her breasts. She bit back a cry of pain as he broke open a healing burn.

Lewis leaned in and kissed her check. His lips moved against her skin before finding her mouth. Olivia was much too exhausted to fight him, and she had no interest in meeting the blowtorch. So when his tongue slid against her lips, she opened her mouth to grant him access.

 _Just survive. Do what you have to do to survive_. She had said it to so many victims. She never dreamed it would be this hard. Never dreamed she would have to live it.

Lewis continued to explore her mouth with his tongue, sliding his free hand down her front. Olivia moaned against him as he reached her core. Everything in her screamed to shove her knee into his groin and run for her life, but a calm voice in her head reasoned she had tried that before. With hands cuffed behind her and no access to the gun, she would lose that fight. If she was going to make it out of this, she had to have her hands. She had to have the gun.

Olivia twisted her head away from his lips, unable to bare this double violation any longer. Her breathing deepened as another moan passed through her clenched teeth. Lewis pulled her closer. "You like that sweetheart?"

"Go to hell!" Olivia tried to twist away from his probing fingers.

Lewis held her firmly in place, his eyes shining in delight. "You do like that."

She started to cry as the sensation deepened. "Please," her voice broke.

"Sh...you're okay baby." Lewis slid two fingers inside her and started stroking.

Olivia's back arched. She closed her eyes and desperately tried to be anywhere but here.

Lewis smiled at Olivia's actions. This was new for him, keeping someone long term. It was an enjoyable challenge. He kicked her wet legs apart, water cascading down his back. She looked miserable. _Perfect_. He smiled at her panicked eyes. It was amazing she still had fight left, was still frantic at being violated.

Olivia tilted her head back and tried to slip out of his grip, but it was no use. He was too strong. With one hand keeping her in place, his other hand supported his weight against the wall. A slow groan sounded as he entered her.

"Just relax sweetheart. Relax and feel." His excitement was evident. He noticed her face was flushed, her breathing shallow. Lewis slid his hand back down.

Her eyes snapped open as Lewis found his mark. "No," she pleaded.

Lewis looked down at his victim, feeling her buck against him. She must have had a really rough night. The times he had played with her before...she never surrendered this fast. She was close. "That's it. Don't fight it, Detective."

Olivia scrunched her eyes and tried to remember how to breathe. She tried to picture the park at sunset. But the warm tongue caressing her breast made it hard. Sucking, nibbling...why did he have to make this feel so good?

He slowed his movement, waiting a beat before slamming into her again.

"Ah," she cried out at the sensations swirling through her. Olivia's body seemed to have taken over. It was begging for more. It was begging for him to finish. In that moment, she needed something that only Lewis could give. She hated him for it.

Lewis ground against her, and she saw spots. His eyes drank in her conflicted emotions. "Need something sweetheart?"

Olivia bit her lip, the burning ache gnawed at her, begging for attention. She bit down harder. She wasn't going to give him this.

Lewis kept his fingers in place, rubbing in circles. Her whimpers widened his smile. There was a fine line between showing her that he was in charge versus completely breaking her. He liked to dance that line.

He slid out of her and stepped back. He watched her try to hide the disappointment.

"Do you need something?" Lewis repeated.

Olivia swallowed and refused to answer him. She stared at the wall over his shoulder, trying desperately to ignore the burning desire coursing through her.

Lewis clenched his jaw. _She was so stubborn_. He reached between them and flicked her core. Olivia's eyes rolled, and her body took over. Her mouth opened and words spilled out. She pleaded for him to finish. She was on the edge of the cliff, her body pulsing with need. She just needed it to be over.

His cold eyes sparkled with victory. "That's my girl," he murmured. Pulling her close, he slid back inside.

Olivia cringed in despair as her body met his movement. In that moment, she wanted to be anywhere else. She wanted to go home where she could curl up on the couch. She wanted to be in the squad room joking about Chinese takeout. Instead, she was taking a shower with a serial rapist who should have been behind bars, her body participating in her own rape.

A low whine came from Olivia. He whispered praises into her ear as her body responded. A tear trickled down her face. Her thoughts wondered back to what her life was like four months ago. Back when she had a different life. A life she missed so much.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia grimaced as he pushed her into a seat. He was never gentle. The chair creaked as she shifted. Her shirt was clinging to her shoulders, the water from her wet hair seeping through the tan material. She missed wearing pants. This new shirt only covered her torso, leaving her thighs to be chilled by the early September air.

Her eyes followed Lewis around the kitchen. He grabbed the duffel bag and moved to the refrigerator. He threw in cans of 5 Krazy, tossing a few apples in behind them. "Are we going somewhere?"

Lewis threw her a look.

She decided not to press the issue. The shower ordeal had wounded her. Where they stayed didn't seem that important. She was still a prisoner.

He walked over to her with something in his hand. "Open up."

Olivia's eyes darkened.

Lewis rolled his eyes. "Relax, sweetheart. It's a pop tart."

Her resolve wavered. "Can I get a banana instead?"

"You ate all the bananas."

"Are you sure?" Olivia looked over at the counter. "They could be-"

"Look," Lewis interjected. "I got you bananas so you would shut up about it. You ate them all. So eat the damned pop tart. Or go hungry, makes no difference to me."

Olivia's shoulders dropped. "Okay."

Lewis broke off a small piece and put it in front of her. Olivia shoved her independence down and accepted the morsel of food.

It tasted like sawdust. Sticky sawdust. But she had to get it down. He wasn't always willing to give her food, and she definitely didn't have anything left in her stomach.

Lewis watched her grimace and swallow. Any doubt she was pregnant had been erased weeks ago. She struggled to eat anything. Anything but those stupid bananas. He fed her another bite, somewhat fascinated by her struggle.

Olivia slowly got the pop tart down, not entirely sure it would stay. "Water." Her voice was dry, her throat protesting its use.

He shook his head. "We have to go."

"I'm still queasy. Water might help."

Lewis set his jaw.

"You don't want me to get sick in the car again," she pointed out.

"This is ridiculous," he replied tersely.

Olivia scowled. "Then just leave me here. Solve both our problems."

He ignored her response. "I'll be right back. You move, and I'll break your leg."

She looked to the door.

"Olivia," Lewis warned.

"I won't move," Olivia answered sullenly. It had taken months for her broken arm to heal. A broken leg didn't sound appealing. She recalled his fury at her last escape attempt and the horrific pain that followed. The next time she tried to run, he couldn't see it coming. The next time had to work.

Metal clanks sounded from the bedroom, further signs they were leaving. She had lost count of the places he had moved her to. They had been to cabins, trailers, abandoned homes, and even a few sheds.

Her thoughts wondered to the beach house he first kept her in. She still had nightmares about that place.

 _"What?" Olivia croaked. She couldn't have heard him right._

 _Lewis peeled the matted hair off her face. "We're leaving," he repeated._

 _"I - I don't understand," she stammered weakly. They had been in the beach house for three days. Lewis said she would die here, that she wouldn't make it out of this house alive. Everything he did seemed to confirm death wasn't far away. Her blood was everywhere. She had lost the feeling in her arms. Her ribs ached with each breath she took. Her brain pulsated against her skull. The dozens of burns she had endured trapped heat in her skin; making her feel as though she was on fire._

 _She squinted at Lewis, trying to comprehend what he was saying._

 _His tone softened. "It's time to go to sleep."_

 _She wanted to argue, but his hands were forcing her mouth open. Something hard touched the back of her throat. Then there was vodka - too much vodka. Olivia panicked. This was it. This would be how he killed her. He had done everything he wanted, he was done with her._

 _Darkness blurred her vision. Liquid spilled over on her neck. She gagged, desperate for air. Her throat constricted, swallowing the bitter liquid. Olivia was vaguely aware the bottle was moved away. Lewis was talking again, but she couldn't hear him over the ringing in her ears. She tried to squeak out a plea, to beg for her life like he wanted, but her throat wouldn't work. Days of screaming had taken their toll. There was nothing left to do. There was no way for her to fight. Not like this._

"Hey!"

Olivia felt a stinging slap across her face.

"I said open your mouth," Lewis hissed.

Irritation spread across her features. She hadn't heard him come back in. Olivia glanced at the white pills he carried in his hand and narrowed her eyes.

"Open up, Olivia. I'm not in a patient mood."

"No," she spoke through clenched teeth. She hated sleeping pills, hated the fog that came with them.

He frowned. "You're going to take a nap. Figured you would appreciate that after the night you had."

Olivia shook her head, defiance returning to her eyes.

"You can take the pills or I can knock you out. Either way, you'll be sleeping when I put you in the car." His hand twitched. Lewis wanted to strangle her. No matter how many battles he won, Olivia's spunk always returned. Some days he enjoyed it. Today was not one of those days.

A choked scream filled the room as Lewis dug into the wound he opened in the shower, providing the window he wanted. He shoved the pills to the back of her throat and grabbed the water bottle beside him. A few sputters later, the pills were down her throat.

Lewis released her chin and grabbed the duct tape. "There's the water you wanted. You're welcome." He tore off a strip of tape and slapped it over her mouth. "You can thank me later. Up you go." He led her back to the bedroom and cuffed her to the headboard. "Sweet dreams." He kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I'll be back soon with the car."

Olivia's eyes grew in alarm. He couldn't leave her, not like this. She had thrown up all night. She would drown if she couldn't keep the pop tart down.

"You'll be fine. Deep breaths," he suggested with a wink. "Don't go anywhere."

* * *

The sunlight hit him in the eyes as he opened the front door. Lewis glanced around to make sure no one was watching before stepping outside, closing the door behind him. He started on the trail leading to the road, annoyed he had to repeat this process so soon. Her squad was more ambitious than he bargained for. The radio announced this morning they found the last car he had used.

The police lifted his DNA from the steering wheel. They found Olivia's DNA from her getting sick in the backseat. They knew she was still with him. They knew she was still alive.

It was bad timing. The city was about to call off the search, or at least that's what the news said last week. Maybe that's why he had been so careless with the car. The police had all but given up on her, assuming she was six feet under. Even the press had died down; she was no longer a priority. Until this morning.

Leaving the car in such an obvious place was a mistake he would have to live with for weeks. It would be like May all over again. They would have to lay low, move every few days. He would need to kill anyone who saw him. It shouldn't be a big deal; it wasn't then. But she was pregnant now.

Lewis shook his head. Having never kept his girls for more than a few days, he never thought about dealing with a pregnant hostage. For the most part, nothing changed. He still burned her, still raped her, still made her scream until she lost her voice. He was slightly surprised she hadn't lost the baby. He was rough with her.

Lewis turned on the main road, watching for traffic. He did handle a few things differently. He gave her food at least once a day and didn't force alcohol down her throat anymore. They had most of their fun during the day as Olivia's nausea seemed to peak at night. Hurting her wasn't as fun when she was puking every five minutes.

He smirked as he recalled her look of terror at the pregnancy test. The despair in her eyes had sealed her fate. He would keep her around, if for no other reason than to have the baby she was so horrified to carry.

* * *

"No, that can't be right. Test it again." Nick spoke firmly. They had gotten the call yesterday morning. After nine weeks of no leads, they finally caught a break.

A couple walking their dog spotted an abandoned white van with red scrapes on the driver's side. They called it in, feeling something was off. Local police confirmed the van was stolen and sent samples off for testing. The results had come in a few hours ago. Olivia's DNA was in the backseat.

"I already did retest it. Three times," the technician sounded annoyed. "The results are accurate."

"You must have made a mistake. Where's your boss? Is he here?"

"Nick," Amanda said softly. "He's just trying to do his job."

"Then he should be better at his job." His words had a cutting edge.

"Is there a problem here?" An older gentlemen stepped into the room.

"They want me to run the test again. I've already ran it four times," the young technician argued.

The older man reached out his hand. "I'm Dr. Stanton. You must be here about the missing detective."

"Yes we are." Amanda shook his hand.

Dr. Stanton motioned to the folder in Nick's hand. "May I?"

Nick frowned. "Fine," he muttered.

Dr. Stanton took the file and glanced through the paperwork. "I see ESU found blood and vomit in the back of the vehicle."

"They found fingerprints on the steering wheel too," Amanda added with an edge to her voice.

"Yes, those seem to match William Lewis. However, the DNA in the backseat show Detective Benson was also in the vehicle. Do either of you have concerns about those results?" The doctor peered over his glasses.

Nick boiled with anger. "Do we have any concerns?" he asked incredulously.

Dr. Stanton paused. "Are you questioning the DNA results putting William Lewis and your detective in the van?"

"No, of course not," Nick retorted.

"So then it's the blood levels you're questioning?" The doctor took off his glasses.

"You don't understand who we're dealing with. There's no way those results are right." Amanda was adamant.

Dr. Stanton nodded, choosing his words carefully. "I can't imagine what you are going through. To have your colleague disappear without a trace must have its challenges. We want to do anything we can to help. These results," he paused. "I understand they aren't what you expected, but the same lab that confirmed the DNA belonged to Detective Benson also tested the blood levels. The sample has an HCG level of 31,000. Your friend is pregnant, at least she was when she was in the van."

Nick shook his head in denial. "Can't you check it again?"

The young technician exchanged glances with Dr. Stanton. "The test was run four times. She's at least six weeks along."

Nick wanted to punch someone. Within twenty-four hours, they went from thinking Olivia was dead to finding out she was still alive and still being held captive by William Lewis. Now she was pregnant? Was this why Lewis still had her? This was completely against his pattern. Questions swirled in his head.

He spun on his heel, vaguely aware Amanda was still talking. He had almost given up on his partner. Photos of Lewis' previous victims flashed through his head. He thought of the lust in Lewis' eyes when he played Olivia in the interrogation room. Nick had let her down. He should have stopped it then. He didn't, and Olivia paid the price. And now he found out he had been letting her down every day for the last four months. That would stop today. "I'm coming, Liv. Hang on." Nick slammed the door open. "I'm coming."

* * *

Pain. Her shoulder, her wrists, her throat, it all burned. Not that pain was unusual. She tried to turn over, but something was in her way. Something soft but firm. Light shined in her eyes, and music floated around her.

Her eyes fluttered open. Black leather was everywhere. She grimaced at the throb in her shoulder and shifted to relieve the tension. The ground beneath her jostled. Olivia groaned. She was in a car.

"Welcome back sweetheart," Lewis peered over his shoulder. "Comfy?"

Olivia closed her eyes.

"You've been out for a while. Missed some pretty mountains." He checked the rear view mirror. The sun was setting over the trees. "We should find some place to settle soon."

She looked up out the window and saw a pink glow against the tree tops. If she ever got out of this, she was never coming back to the woods.

Lewis spied a dirt road to the left and slowed the gray sedan for the turn. "Probably going to hit some pot holes."

Olivia winced as her head bounced on the floorboards. She would have a headache later.

The car crawled to a stop about ten minutes later. Lewis stepped out of the car and stepped towards the moss covered cabin. The dirt road was clear, no sign of foot prints or tire tracks. This looked promising.

The front door creaked open. Lewis walked inside and found everything was covered in dust and cobwebs.

His footsteps echoed through the empty house. He passed a bathroom before turning a corner. He moved towards the first door and peeked inside. A futon lay discarded in the middle of the floor. A faded recliner sat in the corner. His tongue touched his lips. This wouldn't work at all.

He checked the second bedroom and discovered the only furniture was a broken bookshelf. Lewis turned on his heel, frustration oozing out of him. He was about to leave when he spied a door through the kitchen. Curiosity got the better of him, and he changed direction.

There was enough sunlight to see the door had two locks and a door knob. A sliding bolt laid even with his shoulders. The second lock was a few inches lower. It was a chain lock, the kind you see in a hotel room.

Lewis was intrigued. Why would anyone use two locks on an inside door? He slid open the bolt and pulled the chain free from its hold. His hand twisted the door knob, pulling open the heavy door. Curiosity turned to confusion before a slow smile slid over his face. They may not have to move again for a while.

* * *

If he didn't come back soon, her bladder was going to explode. Olivia tried to rock back and forth, but found her head still ached from the bumpy ride.

The car door swung open, smoke reaching her nostrils. "Found a new home, baby girl."

He pulled her out of the car and leaned her against a nearby tree to shut the car door. Lewis looked proud, like a child who got away with stealing a toy.

Olivia knew many of his looks. She experienced his anger, endured his curiosity, avoided his wrath, and prayed for his disinterest. But this, this smug contentment, she had never seen it before. It scared her.

Lewis seemed to sense it. He pushed the gun under her chin. "It's not perfect, but it has everything we need. You be a good girl, and I'll get you some food. Might even let you go to the bathroom."

Olivia walked with him to the cabin. Fighting didn't seem to be an option with the gun digging into her chin.

The house was dark, she noted as he pulled her into the living room. Dark and musky. Lewis turned her into the kitchen. Her confusion grew when he led her past the cabinets, past the refrigerator. It seemed he was leading her straight to a wall.

Lewis reached up and undid the two locks. He twisted the knob and pulled the door open. He heard her sharp intake of breath, felt her tremble.

This couldn't be it. This couldn't be where Lewis wanted to keep her. The places he found before, they were homes. The rooms he held her in had curtains, some even had paintings for her to focus on when she seemed to be drowning in sorrow. This room had none of that.

She was vaguely aware of Lewis talking about electricity, something about it not working. Olivia didn't really care. Her attention was on the cement room before her. Buckets lined the far wall. A candle was burning on a table by the door. Her eyes scanned the room. There were no windows. Olivia's eyes fell to the bed in the corner. Rope was already tied to all four wooden legs.

Lewis felt it before she started, he knew it was coming. Her muscles twitched the second she decided to run. The duct tape muffled her scream. She managed to turn halfway around before his arms wrapped around her. "Nope, no, uh-uh, sweetheart. Be good," Lewis breathed into her ear.

Another muffled cry sounded behind the duct tape. Olivia tried to wrench herself away from the man stealing her life. It no longer mattered he had a gun. She couldn't stay here. There was no way out. Her struggles increased as he pushed her into the room. What had she done wrong? Why did he want to keep her here?

Lewis manhandled her towards the bed and threw her down. "Guess you don't want dinner." He rolled her on to her stomach and crawled on top of her, sitting on her lower back.

Her left hand was freed from the handcuffs, and she yanked it free from his grasp. She swung her hand backwards with all the strength she had.

Lewis cursed at the fist clipping his chin. The shock was enough for Olivia to pull her second hand free. She tried to push herself off the bed, but a strong hand grabbed her neck. He shoved her down into the mattress and held her there.

Olivia became frantic. She couldn't breathe like this. Her lungs burned for air, her hands scrambled for anything useful.

Lewis growled. "You really want to do it like this?"

Olivia tried to lift her head, to pull away from his hold on her neck. She needed air.

Lewis shook his head at her continued struggles. "Fine. Remember, I warned you."

She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to dig his eyeballs out with a dull knife. She wanted to curl in a ball and weep for the pain she had endured. She couldn't survive here. This cement filled room squashed any hopes she had of being found. A tear fell as her senses faded. How did she end up here?

* * *

"No, tell the lab to run it again."

Amanda pinched her nose, able to empathize with the lab technician she spoke with earlier. "We already did. They ran it four times."

Brian turned to her with disbelieving eyes. "You can't be serious?" His gaze moved to the captain. "I mean, we know this guy. We've studied his crime scenes, his file, we even met with his victims who survived. He's a psychopath!"

Captain Cragen looked down at the report again. He felt like a cinderblock was stuck to his chest.

"Captain? Come on, she's out there. We know that. But this, this is ridiculous," Brian's voice rose.

"Forensics said the blood is less than a week old. The vomit proves she was alive in the car. We can discuss the other results later."

Amanda looked at the broken people standing with her in Captain's office. The last few months had been hard. While this was an unexpected twist in the investigation, it couldn't be ignored. "Captain," her voice wavered. "We can't dismiss this. Before he took Liv, he only kept victims for a few days. She is different to him." She shrugged. "We had no idea what he was doing, what his motive was. Maybe this is what changed."

"She's right," Fin interjected. "This is the only thing we have. It could be why Lewis has kept Liv alive. I don't like this anymore than you do. The results show she's pregnant. She needs us. We don't have time to argue about it."

Nick punched a dent into the filing cabinet. "I'm going to kill him."

"Not if I get my hands on him first," Brian snapped.

The captain held up a hand. "We've got to find them first. Local detectives are scouring every home within a twenty mile radius, then they'll branch out. But we know his pattern. With this media circus, he's already on the move. So check missing persons, stolen vehicles, store robberies within a fifty mile radius. I'm done chasing our tails. Find him."

* * *

A shiver ran through Olivia. She moved to curl into a ball but found her limbs wouldn't move.

"You didn't stay out long."

Her eyes opened to find Lewis on the other side of the open door. He was unpacking his duffel bag.

Olivia pulled against her restraints and felt the rope dig into her limbs. She was anchored to the bed, every part of her available for Lewis to do whatever he wanted. Terror sprang in her heart.

Lewis walked towards her with a malicious sparkle in his eye. "Don't worry, Olivia. We've got nothing but time here."

Olivia's eyes glistened with tears. "Please don't," her voice wavered.

Lewis crouched down beside the bed. "I told you to be a good girl." His hand cupped her cheek. "I warned you."

She opened her mouth to argue.

He put his finger over her lips. "You know what happens when you don't behave."

Olivia's face crumpled.

Lewis stood up. "Cry as loud as you want. No one will hear you." He held up the blowtorch. "Your thigh seems to have healed nicely. Maybe this will too."

Olivia's shoulders shook as the first scream tore through her lips. Hope had never seemed so far away.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for the positive feedback! Please don't stop. Let me know what you think, constructive criticism is welcome!

* * *

Olivia's shallow breathing echoed in the dark room. Her tremors tugged at the rope holding her in place. She didn't even know what hurt. Lewis had started with the blowtorch blistering her left shoulder. Cigarettes came next, melting away circles of her skin. A knife appeared at some point. Eventually, the torment combined into an all-consuming agony.

Lewis had taken his time, slowly creating one new wound at a time. He wielded each instrument of cruelty with a child-like curiosity. He grinned at her pain and laughed at her tears before finally deciding that she had endured enough. Lewis then left her in the dark, not bothering to undo her restraints. Olivia didn't mind. Her body required strength to move, and she didn't have any left.

Her latest fight against Lewis seemed so inconsequential. Her recent actions didn't warrant the torture he caused. Her panic at the cement prison was instinctive, her actions were based on survival. But Lewis didn't see it that way. She had tried to run. She had tried to take control, something Lewis didn't tolerate.

A dull clank sounded, and brightness flooded the room. Olivia quivered. She wasn't sure if it was from the pain or the fear.

Lewis slithered inside, the door slamming shut behind him. An orange glow appeared as he lit the candle with a flick of his lighter. Lewis walked slowly towards her.

Olivia felt the mattress dip. She could feel his eyes on her; she could sense his displeasure. She kept her eyes on the wall. Olivia couldn't look at him. Fear radiated from her pores, and defeat grew in her heart. He would take one look at her and know she was falling apart. She couldn't give him that.

The silence was maddening. A faint crackle sounded from the candle. She couldn't take it anymore. "I'm sorry," she appealed quietly. Silence met her ears, and she chanced a look at her captor.

"You're sorry? For what?" Lewis gave her an innocent look.

Olivia's eyes fell. "For trying to run."

Lewis ran his fingers down her cheek. "Oh, you were trying to go somewhere?"

Olivia shrank away from his touch and turned back to the wall. His mocking tone took too much effort.

"Hey, you don't get to hide from me." Lewis grabbed her chin.

Olivia huffed as he spun her gaze back to him.

He set his jaw. "You aren't in charge anymore. You don't get to say no. You don't get to say later. You keep forgetting that and getting yourself in trouble. So the next time you think about pushing me? The next time you think about fighting me? Remember that."

Olivia met his pointed gaze with a stony glare of her own.

He curled his lip at her silence. Lewis grabbed her burnt shoulder.

Olivia howled. "Okay, okay, I'll remember."

"Remember what?" Lewis tightened his grip.

"You're in charge," she gasped.

"See?" He released her shoulder. "See how much easier things are when you do what you're told?"

Olivia didn't respond. Her lungs had stopped working. The pain had intensified into a white sheet of agony, consuming all her senses. Her face twisted, her mouth hanging open.

"Hey," Lewis whispered. "Breathe, baby."

Olivia stared past him as her eyes glazed over.

Lewis held her head in his hands. "Breathe, Olivia."

A whimper sounded as her lungs came to life. She gulped in breaths of air, trying not to move her aching shoulder.

"There you go, just breathe." He grabbed a half-empty bottle from the floor. "Do you want some water?"

Olivia looked away, anger and shame written on her face.

"You still want to fight me?" Lewis unscrewed the cap. "I'm good to go for another round, sweetheart. You look a little rough, though."

The anger dissipated, dread taking its place. The past few hours played back in her head. She couldn't endure anymore pain, not today. "Okay."

Lewis reached down and lifted her head. Olivia cried a tortured moan at the tug against her scorched skin.

Her lips closed around the bottle, and she greedily drank the water he offered. Her mouth had been dry for so long.

Lewis pulled the bottle away and gently laid her back down against the mattress.

Olivia closed her eyes against the whirling room. The blowtorch seemed to hurt worse each time.

"I'm going to look for some food. Will you be a good girl if I untie your feet?"

"Yeah," Olivia mumbled.

Lewis stood and undid the knots at her ankles. The rope fell to the floor, freeing her legs.

"Look at me, sweetheart." He leaned over her. "Olivia!"

Her eyes blinked open, startled at his tone.

"If you make one move to undo the rope for your hands or try to get off this bed," Lewis cautioned. "The blowtorch will be like a pat on the pack compared to what I'll do when I get back."

Olivia cringed. "I'll be good."

Lewis patted her leg. "Atta girl."

The door slammed shut, a metal clank sounding from the other side. She was locked in. Olivia drew her legs together, relief flooding her veins at being able to move. Being tied down spread eagle caused a heightened terror when William Lewis was present.

She bit her lip and tried to pull herself into a sitting position. A gut wrenching scream ripped through her lips. Her head fell back against the mattress, tears falling into her hair. It was no use. Her shoulder was much too damaged to move. Sitting up wouldn't change her circumstances anyway. She was still stuck here. Still imprisoned with the psychopath who wanted to tear her a part.

* * *

Amanda sipped her coffee, the papers in front of her blurring into a solid mass of white.

"In the past month, there have been seven people reported missing, three stolen vehicles, and eleven robberies." Fin frowned. "Jefferson County makes Manhattan look like a death trap."

"At least that will help us narrow down our search. Any of the missing persons match a stolen vehicle report?" Amanda leaned over.

"Course not. That would be too easy," Fin muttered.

Brian rubbed his temples. "There has to be an easier way to find them."

Amanda straightened, studying the evidence board. "This still doesn't make any sense. What would William Lewis do with an infant? Even if the baby did change what Lewis wanted to do, it would take at least six weeks to figure out she was pregnant. And that's if it happened right away."

"Unless," Fin glanced at Brian. "Lover boy?"

Brian's brow creased. "What?"

Nick turned to him with a frown.

"You and her, were you?" Amanda's voice trailed off. "Could you have?"

Brian looked around. "Wait, you think that I? Me? No way!" he vehemently denied.

"It could happen, though," Amanda cautioned.

"No, we're careful. I mean, we were careful," Brian's eyes darted between them. "Come on, guys, I could never be a dad. Can you see me changing diapers?"

Nick sighed as he threw his pen down. "It's either you or Lewis. If it was Lewis, he decided to keep her before she got pregnant. If it was you, she was pregnant when Lewis took her."

Brian shook his head. "No way, man," he repeated.

Amanda pursed her lips. "Brian, is it possible?"

Brian opened his mouth but nothing came out. His mind drifted to the last date he had with Olivia. His face flushed.

"Way to go, Cassidy," Nick said flatly.

Brian's head started spinning. "I need some air." He stood and headed to the door. Brian didn't want to raise a kid. Play dates, tea parties, Little League - they weren't in the cards for him.

He wasn't sure which was worse. Either he had an unborn child in Lewis' clutches, or Olivia was carrying her rapist's baby. A baby Brian could have to help her raise. If they found her. Brian changed course for the bathroom. He was going to be sick.

* * *

Lewis was proud of himself. He had found a wild blackberry patch south of the cabin. Birds had snagged some of the berries, but there was still enough to last a few days.

He grabbed the expired crackers off the counter and headed for Olivia's room. A predatory smile spread over his face. She still had spirit, though he didn't know how.

Lewis unlocked the door, not entirely sure what he would find. Olivia's spunk raised its head at the most unlikely time. The door swung open to reveal her lying on the bed. The rope secured each wrist to the bed frame, keeping her somewhat open for display. She hadn't moved. His eyebrow raised. Maybe she had learned her lesson.

"Found some snacks," he announced, depositing the berries beside the bed. "Are you hungry?"

Olivia shook her head, eyes sealed shut.

Lewis bristled. "You haven't eaten anything in over 24 hours. Sit up."

She groaned. "I can't."

"We'll see about that," Lewis replied tersely.

"Please, Lewis. Please just this once, leave me alone," Olivia pleaded.

"Not your call, sweetheart."

"No," her voice trailed off into a cry of pain as Lewis pulled her into a sitting position.

"See? Now you're up," he advised dryly.

Olivia took in a ragged breath, a tidal wave of pain threatening to bring her under.

"We have blackberries and crackers." Lewis joined her on the mattress. "What do you want? I'll be nice and let you choose."

Olivia clinched her fists. She wasn't hungry. "I want to go home."

Lewis snorted. "Not an option, baby."

"Why not? You get bored after keeping people a few days. It's been months! You've done everything you can possibly do to me. Just let me go home!" Olivia implored weakly.

"Home? What home? You think they're going to keep your Manhattan apartment vacant for you when no one is paying the bills?" Lewis laughed. "You think your boyfriend hasn't asked the hot chick down the street out for drinks yet? Home isn't the place you left."

Olivia raised her chin, ignoring his taunts. "My squad will find me eventually."

"Maybe they will," he admitted. "So what? What happens then? Did you plan on going back to your apartment and crawling under the covers? Pretend this never happened? Really, sweetheart? You don't even have your bedding anymore!" Lewis chuckled.

"And your job, you think they'll let you go back to working sex crimes after all the time we've spent together? Did you actually expect to work with victims again after the hundreds of times I've raped you?"

Olivia looked stricken. Her lips parted.

"Don't pretend you're not different. Even if you got out today, you'll never be the same. Your friends will see you as a victim, they'll pity you." He grabbed her quivering chin. "Face it, baby. I'm all you have left. If I walked out the door and didn't come back, you would die here." Lewis caught her gaze.

"You're wrong," she said through clenched teeth.

"Am I?" Lewis tilted his head. "Your eyes tell a different story."

Olivia wrenched her face out of his hands. He had to be wrong

Lewis shook his head. "Come on, open up." He picked up a few blackberries and tapped her lips.

She glanced at him and saw the glee at her heartbreak. Food didn't seem to matter anymore.

"You can open up, or I can force it down your throat. You won't like the second option," Lewis growled.

Olivia retreated into a blank stare and opened her mouth. The berries slid in, a tart burst of flavor exploding on her tongue.

Lewis fed her a few more handfuls and switched to the crackers before deciding she had eaten enough. He grabbed an empty bucket off the wall and put it beside the bed. "Just in case Junior doesn't like his lunch."

Olivia heard his steps retreat, the door closing behind him. The barrier keeping her emotions in check began to crumble. Her shoulders started to shake. She had been clinging to the moment she could go home. Every moment that surrender was close, she held on to seeing the people she loved one more time. She focused on the moment she would be free of William Lewis.

Olivia was so fiercely clinging to those moments that she never considered what would happen afterwards. Lewis' mocking words rang in her head. Even as she argued with herself, the detective side of her knew he was right. Her life after Lewis, if she had one, would be drastically different than the life she had before him.

Sobs escaped her lips, the sorrow from her heart crying to be heard. Lewis destroyed everything, even her dreams.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you all for the feedback! Please keep it coming and let me know what you think about this chapter.

* * *

 _She tried to ignore his pawing hands on her body. She had to think, she had to focus on how to get out of this. Olivia saw silver flash in her peripheral vision. Lewis had found her handcuffs. A wave of panic swept over her, the photos of his victims flashed through her head. Adrenaline shot through her veins. She knew what Lewis planned on doing, and she wasn't going to let it happen to her._

 _Lewis tugged at the gun on her hip. She had to move now, before the situation got worse. She threw her elbow backwards and heard the gun fall to her bedroom floor. Olivia spun around and threw a punch at his face._

 _A startled grunt escaped him. Lewis took a step back, his hand reaching up to check his nose._

 _Olivia drew back for a second attempt, but she was too late. Lewis had recovered in an instant. He tossed her backwards with a sling of his arm. Her teeth clicked together as her head bounced off the wall._

" _Nice try, detective." Lewis snarled, fury taking root in his eyes._

 _No. No, he wasn't going to win, her story wouldn't end like this. Olivia clenched her teeth as Lewis pinned her against the wall. She wasn't going to let him win. Olivia snapped her knee up between his legs. Lewis howled in pain and loosened his grip. She shoved him away from her, landing another punch on his nose. The shock seemed to steal his breath, freezing him in place. She glanced at the gun beside his foot and decided against grabbing it. She didn't have time, she had to get out._

 _Olivia reached the kitchen and closed her fingers around her phone. She was almost at the door, she could make it. Her hand grazed the doorknob as Lewis rounded the corner._

" _Get back here!" Lewis barked, grabbing her by the hair._

 _Her head snapped backwards with a cry of pain. Olivia eyed the door with gritted teeth. She was so close, she just had to loosen his grip one more time. "Let go of me!" Olivia hissed. Her hands reached up and fought against his hold on her. "Help! Help me!"_

 _Lewis sneered and tightened his hold. "Shut up!"_

 _She fumbled for the edge of the counter as Lewis hauled her away from the door. Her eyes darted around the kitchen. She needed a pan, a knife, a glass, anything to throw at him, but the counter was bare. "Somebody help me!" she screamed._

 _Lewis threw her to the ground with a growl. His boot connected with her side, sending a shockwave through her stomach._

 _Olivia gasped, her eyes closing in pain. She had to fight, she couldn't let him beat her. Not when she knew the cost. Her hands pushed her off the ground, but another kick to her ribs sent her falling back down. Spots darkened her vision, air escaped from her lungs. She couldn't breathe._

 _His boot nudged her onto her side, a vicious grin on his face. "You like to play hard to get, detective?" His fist swung towards her face. "I can do that."_

 _Her face exploded with pain, copper filling her mouth. Her vision grew blurry. She had to get up, but her body was not cooperating. Her eyes refocused to see Lewis swinging another punch, nailing her in the eye. Olivia groaned. The room was spinning._

 _Lewis flipped her over on her stomach and grabbed the collar of her gray jacket. Olivia let out a strangled cry as he peeled it off her arms._

 _He wrenched her arms behind her and locked the handcuffs in place. His hands grabbed her arm, pulling her up off the floor._

 _Olivia closed her eyes against the spinning room, fighting to stay conscious. Her body jostled as Lewis slammed her into a chair._

" _Let's get you settled in." His voice sounded distant._

 _Her eyes blinked open. She needed to stay alert. Lewis appeared at her side with duct tape in hand._

" _No," she murmured with a sluggish groan. She had to talk with him, reason with him. She couldn't do that if duct tape covered her mouth._

 _Lewis tore off a strip of tape and slapped it over her lips. "That should keep you quiet." He brought the gun under her chin. "Stay."_

 _Olivia cringed. Every insult she had thrown at him in the squad room haunted her thoughts. He would make her pay for what she did, for what she tried to do._

 _She watched him disappear into her bedroom. She heard a crashing sound followed by glass breaking. Olivia looked down at her crumpled jacket. It was going to be a rough night._

 _Her eyes lifted when Lewis walked out of her bedroom a few seconds later. He held her gun in one hand, rope and cigarettes in the other._

 _Her breath hitched. The pyrotechnics, the branding, the torture – Lewis described it all in the interrogation room. A foreboding sense of dread swept over Olivia._

 _Lewis squatted beside her and shoved the gun against her cheek. "Don't move."_

 _He circled rope around her leg and tied a knot, securing her to the chair. He moved to her other leg and did the same thing._

 _Olivia took a ragged breath. She couldn't move._

 _Lewis stood up, a mischievous smile filling his face. "You look nervous, sweetheart."_

 _She swallowed hard and raised her chin. If he wanted her to sweat and to beg, he had another thing coming._

 _He walked behind her, his firm hands caressing her neck._

 _A shudder rippled through Olivia. She had spent her life fighting men like Lewis. Righting the wrongs that survivors endured. Now, it was her turn. Fate had a cruel sense of humor._

 _Lewis pulled her hair behind her shoulders. His warm breath grazed against her neck. "Ready for some fun, sweetheart?"_

 _She jerked away from his touch with a strangled cry. There had to be a way out of this. Olivia twisted in the chair but a searing pain shot through her arm, freezing her movement. What was wrong with her shoulder?_

Olivia jolted awake, her breath coming in short panicked gasps. She moved to sit up and was rewarded with a wave of searing pain. Olivia fell back with a whimper. Where was she? Olivia took in a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. After a few seconds, her senses started to work. She could feel the rope digging into her wrists, the lumpy mattress beneath her, the cold air snaking its way over her. She took in a shaky breath and let out a cry of frustration. It wasn't a dream. Lewis had taken her.

The nightmare happened frequently, replaying that first night. Maybe it was because she had so many regrets. She should have fought harder that night. She should have done something different, something more. Anything to not end up here. But Olivia was cocky then. She was untouchable, confident she could always find a way out. But that was then, back when she thought she had a choice, a say in what her life held. Back before Lewis demolished her pride. Before he destroyed her heart.

Olivia's mind played back her last conversation before coming home that night. Nick's questioning gaze had penetrated her frustration. He knew something was off with Lewis. Even in the interrogation room, he knew. She wished she could talk to him one more time. Nick would remind her of who she used to be, the confident detective who never backed off a challenge. Maybe a part of that person still existed somewhere. She didn't feel like it, though. Olivia trembled in Lewis' presence. She cried all the time. Her world shattered over and over again every day. She was broken.

A clank sounded, pulling Olivia out of her head. The door opened and twilight peaked into the room. Dread bubbled up inside her.

Lewis grunted his way into the room, his arms carrying an odd shaped bundle. Drops of sweat beaded his forehead. "I have a surprise for you, sweetheart."

A thud echoed through the room as a pile of rocks fell to the ground. Olivia grimaced. She hated surprises. They never ended well for her. She braced her foot against the mattress and grabbed the rope binding her wrists. If Lewis was going to be in the room, she did not want to be lying down. It gave him too many ideas, left her too exposed. Olivia gradually pulled herself into a sitting position, her teeth clenched with the effort it caused.

Lewis stepped back into the kitchen and reappeared with another bundle. "I'm making a fire pit."

Her lips parted. She still had fresh burns scattered across her thighs and chest. The thought of another round with fire intensified the dread in her stomach.

"The temperature is falling, it's supposed to be in the forties tonight." Lewis huffed as he dropped his second load of rocks.

Olivia's brow furrowed. "Wait, you're building a fire pit because it's cold outside?"

He squatted on the ground and glanced over at her. "The electricity is fried."

"And?" she asked hoarsely.

"I assume you don't want to get hypothermia," he replied dryly. He started arranging the rocks in a circle, oblivious to the confusion swirling around Olivia's head.

"You're building a fire to stay warm?" Her eyes rounded, incredulous at the thought.

Lewis threw her a grin. "You know how I like the heat."

Olivia gaped at him.

"Don't look so surprised, sweetheart. It'll be below freezing in a couple of weeks. Might as well get it done." Lewis shrugged. "This place is a dump. It will take a lot of time to get the house ready for winter."

Her mouth went dry. "Winter? You want to stay here for the winter?"

"Why not? It's perfect," Lewis said proudly. "The nearest town is hours away, the house is miles off the main road, and we're surrounded by trees. After it snows, people won't even see the driveway."

Olivia swallowed a wave of nausea. She would lose her mind being held in this prison for months. "Isn't it best to keep moving?"

Lewis paused and tilted his head. "You suddenly enjoying our life on the run, sweetheart? Or do you just hate the house that much?"

Olivia scanned her foggy mind. "The house is too dirty, too old. And a fire pit can't heat this whole house."

He grinned. "Don't worry about that. I'll make sure my Baby Momma stays warm."

"I am not your Baby Momma," she spat out, fire lighting her eyes.

"No?" Lewis chuckled. "You're having my baby. What would you call it?"

Olivia closed her eyes and bit her lip. She wanted to tell him off, but pushing his buttons while he was making a fire would be stupid.

Lewis put the last stone in place and stood up. "That's what I thought." He walked back to the kitchen and came back with the firewood. "What are you thinking about for a name? Have any favorites?"

"I am not having this conversation with you," Olivia scoffed.

"Junior seems to stick." He ignored her protest. "We can go with Billy Junior if it's a boy."

Olivia glared daggers at him. "It will be a cold day in hell when my child is named after you."

Lewis finished arranging the firewood and brushed off his hands. His eyes travelled up her naked form, lingering in uncomfortable places. "You don't look like you're in a position to argue much about anything, detective," he smirked.

Olivia scowled and looked away. As much as she wanted to fight him on this, she knew he had a point. She was tied naked to a bed. The past four months proved he could make her do anything he wanted. Her words were just empty threats.

Lewis crinkled up some paper and lit it on fire. He tucked them into the firewood, an orange glow taking over the room. "There, that's done."

She glanced at the dancing flame and felt her blood pressure climb. Fire used to be comforting. A part of her knew the warmth would be a welcome addition to her life, but fire stood for other things now. Things that set her teeth on edge.

"I think I deserve a thank you," Lewis said as he wiped off his forehead. "Some of the stones were hard to dig up." Sweat stained the back of his shirt, evidence of the effort involved in his task.

"A thank you?" Her eyes darted between him and the fire. "For keeping me alive?"

He narrowed his eyes. "You asked for this, Olivia. You wanted me to keep you around." His eyes bore into her. "I could have killed you, but you begged me not to. This was your choice."

"You never gave me a choice!" She cried, hatred filling her core. "You branded me in my own home and made me watch you rape innocent people. What part of that was my choice, you monster?"

Anger sparked in his eyes. "Fine. You want a choice?" He pursed his lips and walked towards her. Lewis freed her wounded arm, his lips set in a thin line. He moved towards her feet and slid them off the bed. "I'll give you a choice, sweetheart."

Olivia raised her chin. Indignation swept through her like a fire. How dare he expect a thank you after the nightmare he had made her live.

Lewis walked around to her other side and pulled her into a sitting position, her feet dangling off the mattress. He knelt down to her eye level, and his tongue touched his lips. "You can choose to either open your mouth and thank me for taking care of you, or I can tie you back down and rape you till the sun comes up."

Olivia's boldness trickled away, dismay taking its place. He couldn't mean what she thought he did.

Lewis grabbed her hair and yanked her head back. "I would think you learned your lesson last time, but if you bite me again, there's a pair of pliers in the car. I can take care of your teeth if they become a problem."

A shudder rippled through Olivia. She had walked into this. Her defiance always turned him on, gave him a hunger that only destruction could satisfy. She should have seen this coming.

Lewis tightened his hold on her scalp. "Well, baby? What's it going to be?"

Olivia's eyes implored him to change his mind, but his eyes held no mercy.

"Well?" He growled.

"Okay," her voice trembled.

"Okay what?" he asked in a patronizing tone.

"I'll open my mouth," her voice broke.

"Open your mouth for what?" Lewis wasn't going to let this go. He wanted her to know he was still in charge. He was always in charge.

"To thank you," she answered with defeat.

Satisfaction took the place of his anger, a smile creeping over his face. Lewis crashed his lips into hers with bruising force. She let out a muffled whimper.

Lewis broke the kiss and stroked her cheek. "Behave, baby girl."

Olivia cringed as he stood to his full height. His belt hit the floor, his pants following suit.

"Open up, detective."

Her eyes filled with tears. It had been weeks since Lewis made her do this. Biting him was a decision she had paid dearly for. Even so, Lewis was apprehensive enough about a repeat attempt that he had not made her go down on him since. It almost made it worth the punishment. Almost. She swallowed and parted her lips. She didn't have the energy to fight him today.

"Good girl," Lewis praised. He tangled his fingers in her hair and brought her close. "Enjoy it, this will be the only supper you get."

Olivia balled her fists and closed her eyes. He entered her mouth, sliding against her tongue. She kept her jaw slack, reminding herself this was necessary to survive. She gagged as he hit the back of her throat. In that humiliating moment, she wondered if survival ever lost its significance. Was staying alive really worth the sacrifices she paid? She didn't know anymore.

* * *

"They think they found it!" Amanda announced.

Nick's head snapped up. "Found what?"

"The last place Lewis had Liv," she dropped the iPad on his desk. "They sent over the pictures."

Fin leaned over his shoulder. "Just looking at that house gives me chills."

Nick scrolled through the photos. The faded gray house was surrounded by trees, dead leaves scattered across the porch. Wood from the porch railing had rotted away, leaving holes in the remaining chunks. It looked lit a strong wind would knock the house over.

He scrolled through the pictures and found the inside was littered with cigarettes, cans of 5Krazy, and pieces of duct tape. It was clear evidence Lewis had been there.

"Jefferson County is putting a rush on the DNA," Amanda noted. "They're running samples to be sure it was Lewis. Detective Stiles is working the case, he'll call us when there's an update."

"What? There's another wacko out there with duct tape and 5Krazy?" Fin asked with a frown.

Nick threw the iPad down. "We should be up there looking for her, not sitting here looking through pictures."

"Lewis is long gone by now, going up there would be a waste of time. We knew that. Liv needs us here, figuring out where he took her," Fin reasoned.

"We flooded the media with their pictures, maybe we'll get a hit." Amanda sounded hopeful. "Or maybe he'll make a mistake."

Nick frowned as he looked closer at the newest picture on the iPad. "What's that on the ground?"

She glanced to Fin. "Maybe you shouldn't look at the rest of the photos."

"Amanda," Nick sighed. "What is it?"

"A shirt, Nick. It's a shirt. The detective said the edges looked ragged. Like it was cut off. He also said it had some blood on it." Amanda looked down.

Nick's eyes closed. A bloody shirt that had been cut. He kept hoping Lewis wasn't a complete monster to Liv. He knew it wasn't realistic, given Lewis' history, but maybe that's how Nick stayed sane. No one in the squad room had talked about it. Not directly. It had certainly been implied, but no one wanted to bring it up. A sex crimes detective had been kidnapped by a serial rapist who branded his victims. They knew what it meant.

But to see the pictures made it real, almost too real. They showed the horror his partner had been living every day. It turned his stomach.

Fin reached over his shoulder and grabbed the iPad. "I'll take this, let you know if I find anything useful."

Amanda nodded. "They're checking stolen vehicle reports. A junkyard about five miles away reported a missing car. Detective Stiles is on his way over."

Fin nodded and plopped into his seat.

Nick watched Fin's face tighten as he started flipping through the remaining pictures. His partner was stuck in a living hell, and he wasn't even man enough to look at the aftermath. He put his head in his hands.

"Hey," Amanda's tone softened. "We'll find her."

"Yeah?" Nick's heated eyes looked up. "We said that months ago. Before we thought she was dead and gave up on her."

She shrugged helplessly. "His pattern was to keep his victims for a few days. We had no leads, no witnesses," her voice waivered. "We couldn't have known."

Nick shook his head. "She's my partner, Amanda."

"I know." Amanda bit her lip. "Liv's strong. She'll make it."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "She is stubborn," he relented. "Remember when we first started working SVU? She was so set in her ways. She hated us."

"We had no idea what we were doing," Amanda noted with a shake of her head.

"It was a little intense at first," he admitted. "Then things changed. I don't even know when it happened. I just looked up one day, and she was my partner. My friend." His smile faded.

"Hey, she still is." Amanda sat down on the corner of his desk.

"I keep thinking about what he's doing to her. The things he's made her do," Nick's voice trailed off.

"Liv wouldn't want you thinking about that," Amanda reasoned.

"No she wouldn't," Nick agreed softly. "But every time I close my eyes, it's all I can see."

Amanda put a hand on his arm. "We'll get him, Nick. I'm going to go call that junkyard, see what they can tell us. Why don't you start calling the local gas stations? Maybe we can find out which direction they went."

"Yeah sure," Nick muttered. He needed to do something. He turned back to his computer as Amanda walked off. He wanted to believe her, wanted to believe they would find Olivia alive. But he wasn't so sure. Lewis had evaded them so far. He was always ten steps ahead of them. Nick felt old and tired. No one should have to work this kind of case, not ever. Not for their partner.


	5. Chapter 5

So here's another chapter. It's a little bit of a gnarly one, but one I feel would be very likely given Lewis' pattern. Fair warning: this is a slight cliffhanger. Let me know what you think, what you like, what you don't like. And as always, thanks for the reviews!

* * *

A faint rustling sound reached Olivia's ears. It occurred to her she should probably check on it, but she couldn't summon the energy. Her bones ached with a soreness that made even lying still uncomfortable, and her eyelids seemed glued shut. Whatever had disturbed her fitful sleep could wait.

She frowned as something warm grazed across her face. Olivia sighed at the interruption and turned her head away. She just wanted to fall back into the darkness. Nothing bad happened there. She had a few blessed seconds of stillness before a light slap roused her from her drowsiness.

"Come on now, sunshine. Wake up."

Her eyes blinked open to find Lewis a few inches from her face, stroking her cheek with a rested smile. She jerked away from him with a startled cry, wincing as her body protested against the sudden movement. Her muscles felt like rubber, firm and unwilling to cooperate.

"There you are. You were sleeping hard," Lewis whispered. "Must be feeling better, you didn't get sick last night."

She grunted and closed her eyes. She didn't want to deal with Lewis. Sleep beckoned her, and she was too happy to oblige.

Lewis combed his fingers through her tangled hair. "You're cute when you're grumpy," he noted with amusement.

Olivia ignored him and adjusted back into a comfortable position. At least her legs were free, it was so much easier to sleep when her feet weren't tied down. She froze as her leg brushed against something hard. She opened her eyes and glanced down to find Lewis' socked foot lying between her bare legs. Her eyes travelled up and stopped at his naked chest. His comment sunk into her head. "You slept here? With me?"

"Olivia," Lewis admonished. "We've been sleeping together for months. This is nothing new."

She narrowed her eyes. Someone was clearly feeling peppy. Her hand twitched against the rope binding her arms to the bed. Morning people were obnoxious. Particularly when being held hostage.

"Nothing happened. Lighten up, Olivia. You were a good girl last night, I kept my word." Lewis rolled off the mattress. "Do you have to go to the bathroom?"

"You're going to let me up?" she croaked in surprise.

"Why not?" Lewis pulled his navy t-shirt over his head. "I'm in a pretty good mood. You gave pretty good service last night."

Olivia turned away from him, her face twisted in disgust. She didn't want to talk about last night.

"Your mouth was so warm and soft." Lewis sat beside her on the bed, tracing her lips with his finger. "And the way your tongue rubbed against –"

"Stop," Olivia groaned, clenching her eyes shut. "Please just stop."

Lewis grinned, a malicious twinkle in his eye. "Just trying to give my girl a compliment. You're not bad when you're motivated."

Olivia huffed and gritted her teeth. "You can keep your compliments."

He snorted. "Have it your way." Lewis stood up and headed to the kitchen.

"Wait, the bathroom?" Olivia called after him. Her bladder had woken up and was desperate for some relief.

"In a minute, sweetheart." He stepped through the door and disappeared from view.

Olivia sighed and leaned back into the mattress as rattling noises reached her ears. Today had barely started, and she was already tired of playing games.

Lewis appeared back at the door, his disheveled hair and twinkling eyes seeming to hide the devil beneath. He reached her bedside and studied Olivia for a second. "Before I let you up, are you going to be a good girl?"

She eyed the water bottle he carried and licked her lips. "Yeah."

Lewis lifted up the object of her focus. "You want water?" He sat down beside her and opened his hand to reveal two white pills. "Then you have to take these."

Olivia's face fell. Not the sleeping pills. Not again.

"I have to go out today, get some supplies. Thought I would get you settled before I leave. You can go to the bathroom and eat some food, but you have to take the pills first," he negotiated softly.

Olivia paused, her tongue slow to work. "What do you need the supplies for?"

"The house needs some work. And we're running kind of low on food." Lewis reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind Olivia's ear. "Might even grab you some bananas while I'm in town."

She met his gaze with trepidation. "What do you want?"

Lewis grinned, his eyes filled with pride. "You've learned how it works, haven't you sweetheart?"

"Just tell me what you want, Lewis." Olivia wasn't in the mood.

"I want you to behave." He met her gaze with a firm intent. "Take the pills, and be a good girl when I untie you."

Her brow furrowed. "That's it?" Lewis loved to play games. He taunted her into giving him little pieces of herself. He baited her into fights and then punished her for it with a gleeful smirk. Now, he was offering kindness on the condition she behaved? It seemed too simple.

"I'll be gone awhile. Have to swap out the car, and it will take a few hours to reach town. Plus I'll have to drive the long way back, make sure no one follows me. So why don't you open your pretty little mouth and swallow these pills? You'll have a nice long nap, you won't even know I'm gone."

An uneasy feeling swept over her as she looked at the pills in his hand. She knew he wasn't asking for her permission. Lewis would shove them down her throat either way. But he didn't always want to force her cooperation. He liked to test her resolve, make her choose between fighting and surrendering.

"Hey." Lewis grabbed her chin. "I don't have to untie you or feed you breakfast. You can just lie here and be hungry all day. Makes no difference to me. You seem to enjoy doing things the hard way."

Olivia narrowed her eyes at his callous remark. He used the sleeping pills for the same reason she hated them. They were effective, both in making her sluggish and in knocking her out.

"We could try something new, and you could do what you're told for once." Lewis set his lips in a thin line. "How about this? If you're a good girl, I'll bring back the bananas and give you a full bottle of water tonight."

"The whole bottle of water?" Olivia eyed him cautiously.

"Every drop," Lewis promised. "And you know I keep my word."

Olivia relented and nodded her consent. Ridiculous as it was to bargain her life away for bananas and water, her body needed sustenance. If taking the sleeping pills would keep her in Lewis' good graces for even a day, she would do it.

Lewis popped the pills into her mouth and tipped the water to her lips. "Good girl."

She swallowed the pills down, the water bringing life to her parched throat. Lewis took away the bottle after a few sips, water droplets falling down her chin.

He wiped the drops away with his thumb and set the bottle down. "Let's get you up." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the handcuffs.

"Please," Olivia choked. "Don't."

Lewis frowned. "Don't cuff you? Really?"

Her eyes widened in panic. "My shoulder, the burn will tear open if you cuff my hands behind my back. Just cuff my hands in front, I won't fight you. Please," she begged.

He raised his eyebrow in disinterest, his eyes falling to the blisters covering her skin. "Maybe you should have thought about that before you tried to escape," he admonished flatly.

"I said I was sorry for that," she implored desperately. "Please, Lewis. I'll be good."

Lewis waited a moment, searching her eyes. He leaned into her and put his hand around her neck. "Since you asked nicely, and since you were a good girl last night, we can cuff your hands in front - this time. But if you make one move," he tightened his hold. "Your shoulder will be the least of your worries."

Olivia managed a slight nod, the lack of air making her lungs burn. Lewis held his grip for a few more seconds before letting go. She gulped air into her deprived lungs, staying in place as he untied her arms.

Lewis snapped the handcuffs on her wrists and pushed off the bed. He untucked the gun from his pants and held it against her head. "Come on. Nice and easy, sweetheart."

Olivia bit her lip and swung her legs to the side. Lewis pulled her into a standing position, but her legs caved under her weight, sending her falling to the floor.

"Easy there, sweetheart. No marathons for you." Lewis caught her by the waist and held her against him. "Take it easy."

His amusement wounded her pride. Six months ago, she walked the streets of New York and chased criminals without a second thought. Now, she couldn't even stand by herself.

Lewis guided her stiff body out of the room and into the kitchen. The sunlight hit her in the face, sending a stab of pain through her eyes. The sun seemed so much brighter after spending days in a cement prison. Olivia stumbled behind Lewis, his long stride difficult for her to keep up with. They walked by the front door, but Olivia barely glanced at it. She could barely walk. Fighting him in this condition wouldn't do any good.

He hurried her into the bathroom, clearly impatient for the next part of his day. Olivia relieved herself without fuss and obediently walked with Lewis back to the kitchen for her food. She made it halfway through her blackberries before her eyes started to get heavy.

"Sleepy already?" Lewis asked as she struggled to keep her eyes open. "This new bottle works a lot faster than the other one."

Olivia didn't reply. All her energy was focused on chewing this blackberry and swallowing it so she didn't choke. She should try to clear her head, shake away the fog. She needed to eat the rest of the berries, her body was starving for nutrients. But she was so tired. Maybe if she just closed her eyes for a few seconds, she would feel better. Her chin dropped to her chest, darkness once again taking over her world.

* * *

Amanda chewed on the end of her pencil. She had been staring at the pictures for over an hour, hoping something would pop out. They had hit another brick wall. The junkyard had confirmed an old blue mustang was missing, but they had no security footage for their lot. The police were fairly certain Lewis had taken it given his pattern, but they had no way to prove it. They also had no idea which way he went.

The DNA from the cabin had also come back, matching both Lewis and Olivia. The new blood sample from the house confirmed the initial lab results they'd gotten from the car. Olivia was pregnant. And judging from the amount of vomit in the pictures, she wasn't faring very well with it.

Brian had checked in on his lunch break and insisted on looking at the new pictures. The sorrow on his face had magnified with each photo, his knuckles turning white as he held the iPad. He then made a hasty exist, making some excuse about traffic. No one questioned his reasoning. They all felt it. Amanda couldn't imagine what he was going through.

"Coffee?" Nick asked, holding out a steaming cup.

"Thanks," she said absentmindedly, grabbing the hot drink.

"What's bugging you?" Nick glanced at the board.

"The baby, it still doesn't make any sense." Amanda shrugged. "If the baby is Brian's, why would Lewis keep Olivia? He wouldn't care about her having Brian's baby."

"Lewis doesn't care about anything," Nick muttered with disdain, sipping his coffee.

Amanda studied the photos spread over the evidence board. Each of these women at some point had seen Lewis for the monster he was. As soon as that moment came, Lewis had turned on them with a sadistic cruelty.

Her mind went back to the first few weeks after Liv disappeared, when they met with the survivors who lived through Lewis' wrath. Amanda would never forget the haunted look in their eyes. Faded scars covered their faces and necks. They had shared their stories with detachment, their voice void of any emotion. It made Amanda's blood run cold.

Lewis stole something from his victims, something beyond the ability to feel safe. He had taken a part of their soul and ripped it out. He so thoroughly destroyed these women, he didn't even care if they lived.

"What would he get out of this? Why would a serial rapist kidnap a cop, torture her, and get her pregnant?" Amanda wondered out loud. "It doesn't make any sense."

Nick's lowered his gaze as he recalled a conversation he and Liv had a few months ago. Dread settled in the pit of his stomach. "No," he mumbled to himself. "That can't be it."

"What? What can't be it?" Amanda snapped her attention back to him. She took in Nick's defensive stance and his crossed arms. "If you know something that can help us figure this out, you have to come clean, Nick."

He shook his head. "No, there's no point. She barely talked about it with me, there's no way she would have told Lewis."

"Told him what?" She turned to him with an exasperated sigh. "Liv needs us to find her. Holding on to some personal secret between the two of you won't help her."

He sighed and put his coffee down. "Did she ever tell you about her dad? Her mom?"

"Not really, she didn't like to talk about her family." Amanda met his gaze. "Why?"

Nick could almost feel Olivia glaring at him, telling him to shut up. The cop in him knew this was relevant information, but the friend in him bristled at giving up this piece of his partner. "Do you remember that high profile case we had last year? The sports reporter, Avery Jordan?"

"Yeah, the one who got pregnant and disappeared with the baby," Amanda nodded. "That case was a mess. They still haven't found her."

"Olivia," Nick's voice broke. "She let Avery go. On a private plane, out of the country. Away from the baby's father."

Amanda furrowed her brow. "She let Avery run?"

Nick clenched the table. "She knew what it was like to grow up with a mom looking over her shoulder. A mom that had been raped."

She searched his troubled gaze, her confusion mounting. "Olivia's mom was assaulted?"

"Nine months before Olivia was born." Nick closed his eyes.

Amanda gaped at him. "Olivia's mom got pregnant with her from being raped?"

"Yeah," he tightened his jaw. "She did."

The missing piece finally clicked in place for Amanda. Olivia's burning desire to help survivors, her hatred of evil men, the way she dedicated her life to putting rapists behind bars. Amanda glanced at Lewis' picture on the board and suddenly felt nauseous.

"It would destroy Liv to have his baby," Nick noted quietly.

"That's why he did it. That's why he still has her." Amanda put her head in her hands. "Lewis gets off on the mental torture as much as the physical. She must have told him."

Nick shook his head firmly. "No, she never would have told Lewis about her father."

"Nick," Amanda interjected softly. "Do you remember how unsettled Olivia was after ten minutes with Lewis in the interrogation room? That was when he was in handcuffs and she had the gun. Now? After four months of being imprisoned and tortured?" Amanda ran her fingers through her hair. "Even if we found her tomorrow, she isn't the same person. Not anymore. Somehow, Lewis got this out of her. And based on this timeline, he has known for a while."

He looked over to his partner's picture hanging beside Lewis. "He's keeping her alive for the baby."

She slowly nodded in agreement. "If it happened in the beginning, she has at least five months before he'll kill her." Amanda looked over to the sleep-deprived task force on the opposite end of the room. "We have to tell them, Nick."

He slowly nodded his agreement as she headed off in that direction. "I'm sorry, Liv," he muttered quietly. "But we're running out of options."

* * *

Olivia screamed as a white hot pain yanked her back to consciousness.

"You were right. Pulling your arms behind your back does tear the blisters open." Lewis crouched down in front of her, a cocky smile twisting his face. "That had to hurt," he smirked.

Olivia clenched her teeth against another groan of pain and glanced down at her discolored shoulder. Clear liquid trickled out of the broken blisters. It felt like a fresh burn all over again. She shifted against her restraints, panic bubbling up from her stomach at how little she could move. Lewis had moved her to a chair. Her arms were cuffed behind her, straining the raw skin covering her shoulder. Rope secured her ankles to the chair legs, bringing back unpleasant memories. She took in a shaky breath and glanced back to Lewis.

He brushed the damp hair away from her face, a sinister smile lighting up his face. "Have a nice nap?"

Olivia recoiled from his touch and tried to even her breathing. Her eyes scanned across the room. Lewis had brought back a fair amount of supplies. Blue lanterns sat on the small table by the door, their flames casting a faint glow against the cement walls. A paper bag laid in the corner, and piles of rope were scattered over the floor.

"Ready for that water?" Lewis asked, holding up a new water bottle.

Smug excitement radiated from him. His eyes gleamed with a hidden intent that sent fear clawing at her heart. She knew that look. He only got this excited when bad things were about to happen. Her gaze drifted to the water bottle. Whatever he had planned, she needed water. Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth, and she could feel a headache coming.

"Yeah," Olivia said hoarsely. If Lewis was going to keep his word and give her the whole bottle, she needed to take him up on the offer.

Lewis unscrewed the lid and brought it to her lips. "Not too fast now, sweetheart. You'll make yourself sick."

Olivia put her lips around the bottle and closed her eyes in sweet relief at the cool liquid soothing her throat. She downed almost half the bottle before Lewis pulled it away from her. Her eyes rounded as she swallowed the last mouthful.

"I know," he calmed her protests. "You get all of it. But I have something to show you first."

Her irritated eyes watched him screw the cap back on and stand up. He moved to the side, revealing the bed behind him. She froze as her eyes took in the young girl tied down to the bed. She thought for a moment her eyes must be playing tricks on her. There couldn't be anyone else here. Lewis wanted to lay low. He wasn't stupid enough to kidnap someone else.

Lewis circled behind Olivia and started playing with her hair. He was saying something, but she couldn't comprehend the words floating around her. Olivia's focus remained on the sleeping blonde, praying to whatever God might still be listening that this was just another horrific dream.

Her mouth gaped as she took in the strip of duct tape covering the girl's mouth, and the blood trickling down her face. This couldn't be happening.

"Those head wounds, they always bleed more than I expect." Lewis' warm breath tickled her ear.

Olivia knew she should say something. She should try to plead for this girl's life, bargain with the monster bent on destroying everything in his path, but horror had caught her tongue and wouldn't let go.

"She isn't even from around here. Her car broke down on the way to Connecticut." He laughed and ran his hand down Olivia's arm. "She was so lost. No one will even know where she disappeared. It's perfect."

Olivia swallowed hard, the past four months of her life flashing through her head. "Lewis, you know we don't need her," she said in a tremulous tone. The detective in her had kicked in, trying to solve the problem in front of her without anyone getting hurt.

"Is that right?" Lewis kissed Olivia's shoulder. "You have another suggestion of how to occupy my time?"

Her stomach rolled. She cringed at the feel of his hands roaming her chest and took in a deep breath. "I'm all you need, Lewis. Anything you want, I'll do it," she bargained in an even voice.

He tanged his fingers in her hair and pulled her head backwards. "Anything I want, baby?" Lewis brought his face close to hers and kissed the tip of her cold nose. His soft lips travelled over to her cheek, and trailed down to her mouth.

Olivia swallowed her disgust and moved her lips against his. This wasn't about her. She had endured far worse a dozen times over. She couldn't let him drag another innocent person into whatever game they were playing.

A muffled chuckle sounded from Lewis as he deepened the kiss. He loved her spunk, her tenacious attitude to protect others at any cost. He kept a tight hold on her hair with his right hand, leaving his left hand free to continue exploring her body. He moved his hand back up her breasts and ran his fingers along her injured shoulder.

A choked cry escaped Olivia at his touch. Any desire to appease him was quickly replaced by one of instinct. The pain was too intense, she needed to get away from his hands, his lips. She fought against his hold, but her restraints were unyielding. It was no use.

Lewis finally released his hold and Olivia shuddered away from his touch. A muffled scream caught their attention, and Olivia's head snapped back to meet a pair of green eyes. Terrified green eyes. The young girl was awake.

The girl's eyes darted between Olivia and Lewis. Whether it was the prison like room they were being held in, or the sight of a burned and battered Olivia tied naked to a chair, the girl started to shake, tears filling her eyes.

"Look who decided to join us," Lewis noted cheerfully. "Isn't she beautiful? Her name's Allison."

Their visitor shook her head frantically as another muffled cry sounded behind the duct tape. Allison started pulling against the ropes holding her down, the desperation evident in her face.

"You see, sweetheart? Her fear is so strong, you can taste it," Lewis exclaimed softly in Olivia's ear. "That's the thrill of the game. That primal fear in my girl's eyes." He laughed. "She already knows what's about to happen."

Olivia watched Allison increase her struggle, panic taking over. Olivia shoved down her growing despair and turned her attention back to Lewis. "Billy," she tried in a sweet voice. "I know what you like. I'll do whatever you want."

Lewis crouched down in front of Olivia with a knowing smile. "You know, the only time you call me Billy is when you're out of ideas."

She bit her lip. "Just let her go, Lewis. I'm the only bargaining chip you need."

He threw his head back with a laugh. "Bargaining chip? Really?" He stood and walked towards the table. "She's not going anywhere. Allison has seen you. She's seen me. And she's seen this house." Lewis grabbed the gun off the tablet and tucked it into his pants.

"But you would have put her in the trunk, right? She doesn't know where this house is. And she won't say anything, will you, Allison?" Olivia glanced back at the terrified blonde who was adamantly shaking her head in agreement.

"Nice try, girls." Lewis snatched the duct tape off the floor and tore off a strip of tape.

"Lewis, listen to me," Olivia implored. "She won't be a problem. You can drive her back to wherever you took her. No one will know."

He took in her desperate eyes with a cruel smile. "She definitely won't be a problem, because she's not making it out of here alive."

"No, no there's no need for that." Olivia ignored the muffled whimper coming from the bed. "Lewis, just think about what you're doing. You don't have to do this."

Lewis strode towards her with anger filled eyes. He swung his hand through the air and slapped it across her face. "Bargaining with me, detective?" he seethed. "Did you not learn your lesson last time?"

Olivia winced at the sting erupting from her cheek. "You don't need to do anything to her, Lewis. Just listen to me for a second," she croaked.

"No, you listen," Lewis snarled. "She's not going anywhere."

"But –"

Lewis set his jaw and swung back for a second slap.

"Ow!" Olivia's head slung sideways as he made contact.

"I'm not letting her go. Besides, I'm in the mood for a new game." Lewis stood to his feet and walked around to the foot of the bed. "You don't want me to hurt her? Is that it, huh?" He took out his gun and pointed it at Allison's head. "I could just kill her now then."

"Don't!" Olivia protested, her voice cracking. Her eyes darted between Allison's horrified expression and Lewis' sadistic gaze.

"I'll be nice and let you choose. Letting her go isn't an option. So I can either kill her now and save her all that hurt you're so worried about, or I can have fun with her until she dies. It's up to you, Olivia." He moved to the side of the bed and put the gun against Allison's head.

Allison whimpered and closed her eyes, abandoning her struggles against her restraints. Her body seemed frozen in place, waiting for the inevitable.

Olivia's heart skipped a beat. Time seemed to stand still. Lewis couldn't ask her to make this decision, not for another person. There were days Olivia regretted her own decision to stay alive, living through a psychopath's daily ups and downs.

Olivia took in Allison's stilted breathing, the gun pressing into her head. Lewis had left the rope a little loose, just enough for a struggle. This wouldn't be a shock and awe lesson for Olivia. This would be a toy for Lewis. A toy he would demolish.

Lewis had long since hammered away at Olivia, cracking away pieces of her soul. Those cracks he created had spread into her heart, into her mind. Over time, sorrow had trickled into those holes. That sadness had become a part of her, like a second skin. But not today. Today, anguish took its place. Olivia raised her dismayed eyes back to Lewis.

"Well, what's it going to be, sweetheart?" Lewis raised his eyebrow. "Do you want me to rape her? Or do you want me to shoot her?"


	6. Chapter 6

Here it is, another chapter. My apologies for the delay. I rewrote this chapter so many times. But at the end of the day, there really was only one way this could play out. On that note, bad things happen in this chapter. Your feedback is welcome, please let me know what you think. And, I'm sorry in advance. This chapter is a little dark.

* * *

"Well, what's it going to be, sweetheart?" Lewis raised his eyebrow. "Do you want me to rape her? Or do you want me to shoot her?"

Olivia's mouth gaped open. Her mind swirled in disbelief. Every cruel act she had endured flashed through her head. The touch of his hands against her body, the cold blade sliding against her skin, the crushing pain of Lewis forcing himself inside her. Olivia glanced down to Allison's rigid form and felt her chest tighten. She couldn't have another person hurt by Lewis. Not like she hurt.

"Make up your mind," Lewis ordered, digging the gun into Allison's head.

"No," Olivia choked out, the horror and disgust evident in her voice. As Detective Benson, she had told survivors to live, to do whatever they could to stay alive. But months of torture had changed her. Olivia had been torn apart and violently degraded in ways she didn't know existed. She had become someone new, someone she didn't even understand. And that new person balked at the decision before her.

"No?" Lewis repeated, the confusion evident in his voice. "I thought we talked about that word, sweetheart."

Olivia met his warning glare and knew she was playing with fire. But it didn't change her dilemma. She knew the pain Allison would endure if she lived. And Olivia couldn't be the cause of that pain. But the alternative, to end a life, was unthinkable. She shook her head. "I won't choose. I – I can't," she stammered.

Lewis narrowed his eyes. "Oh?"

Her lungs came to a grinding halt at the scathing look he gave her. Her mind screamed at her to do something, say something. Anything to appease him. Olivia swallowed hard. She couldn't do it.

Lewis frowned and turned his attention to Allison, intent on making his newest victim pay for Olivia's rebellion. He shifted closer to the bed and felt his boot land on something hard. Lewis sighed. This room desperately needed more light. He squatted down and felt around for the offending object. His fingertips ran along the cement floor and stopped as they brushed against cold metal. He picked up his prize, and his anger transformed into curiosity. "I forgot about that."

Olivia hesitantly watched her captor. His anger did not dissipate often. Given their current predicament, she didn't really want to know what had changed his temperament.

"This must have fallen off the bed our first night here." Lewis lifted the knife into view, the flickering flame from the lanterns giving it an orange glow. "That was a fun night."

Olivia raised her chin, a small tremor passing through her. She could almost feel the knife slicing into her, threatening to tear her apart. Her eyes passed to Allison, and she saw the hint of relief on Allison's face at the gun being removed from her head. Olivia licked her lips, sure that whatever Lewis now had planned would not end any better for Allison. "What are you going to do with it?"

Lewis pushed himself off the floor. "That is still up to you."

Olivia watched him warily as he ran the knife's tip across Allison's cheek.

"You see, guns have their place." Lewis started, grinning at the shudder rippling through Allison. "But they're a little too quick." He slid the knife down to Allison's neck. "What do you think? Should I slice her throat? Or just stab her through the heart?"

Olivia's heart skipped a beat as she registered Allison's sob. Lewis pressed the blade further into Allison's skin, creating a dent dangerously close to her jugular. Horror washed over Olivia. She knew that Lewis was waiting on her answer, waiting on her to choose the lesser of two evils. But her body had shut down, her brain had stopped working. Olivia had no answer to give.

Lewis scowled at her silence. "Guess we'll go with slicing her throat then," he muttered. He lifted Allison's chin and slid the knife to the center of her neck.

Allison let out a muffled shriek and renewed her struggles against the rope binding her to the bed.

Olivia watched in horror as blood started to spill out of Allison's neck. Cries of pain and terror filled the room as blood ran onto the mattress. "Stop!" Olivia cried. "Please stop!"

Lewis ignored her protest, continuing to cut a line down Allison's throat.

"Don't," Olivia pleaded. Still, Lewis paid her no attention. The knife continued on its path. Olivia's eyes widened at the volume of blood coming from Allison. "Fine! I'll do it. I'll choose," her voice wavered. "Just stop," she implored.

Lewis paused his movement and met her pleading gaze. "Then choose." His tone was harsh. It left no room for argument, no room for excuses.

Olivia hesitated, grief filling her eyes. "Just do her. You know you want to. So just do her and get it over with." Her head lowered in shame, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"Do what to her, detective?" Lewis pulled the knife away from Allison's neck, blood staining the metal blade. "After all, I do a lot of things."

Olivia cringed. He wanted her to say it. Deep down, she knew there wasn't a way out of this, Lewis wasn't going to let her win. Even still, her mouth seemed glued shut.

"I need to hear it from you, sweetheart." Lewis circled around the bed and came to her chair. "I'm pretty good at figuring you out, but I'm not a mind reader."

Olivia wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out. She could die in that hole for all she cared. Anything to escape this nightmare. But that was not an option. It was never an option.

Lewis grabbed her chin and captured her gaze, his cold eyes vanquishing any hopes she had of escaping this appalling decision. "The cut on her neck is shallow, but I can make it deeper."

She cast a look over his shoulder and found the growing stain of crimson coloring the mattress. There wasn't enough blood to be life threatening, but that condition could change rapidly in Lewis' presence. Allison would die if she said nothing. And the cop in her wouldn't let that happen.

Olivia glanced back at Lewis and felt something die inside of her. "Rape her."

A slow smile tugged at his lips as a sob sounded from the bed. "There it is. That wasn't so hard now, was it?"

"Please, just leave her alone. I'll do anything you want," she tried to reason softly.

"Oh, Olivia." Lewis ran his thumb across her lips. "You already do anything I want."

Olivia's face crumpled. She had failed. One simple task, and she had failed. Lewis had killed so many people during her time with him. But this, hurting Allison, it felt different. More raw. She should feel hatred for Lewis. After all, he was the one who had put them in this position. But Olivia instead felt self-loathing wash over her like a tidal wave, leaving no room to hate anyone other than herself. She knew what was about to happen to Allison. And she knew it was all on her.

"As much as I enjoy our time together, it's time for me and Allison to have some bonding time." Lewis stood and reached for the roll of duct tape. "You be a good girl now." He slapped a strip of tape on her mouth and kissed her forehead.

Olivia recoiled from his lips and winced at the sharp pain her movement caused. Lewis stepped out of sight, placing his hands on each side of the chair. Olivia felt herself lunge forward, the chair's legs scraping against the cement. She grunted in surprise as Lewis pushed her until her knees tapped against the wooden bedframe. Bile rose in her throat.

"Front row seat for my favorite girl." Lewis circled back around her and sat on the bed, resting between his two victims. He laid his hand on Olivia's knee and tightened his grip. "Eyes up, sweetheart."

Olivia's eyes closed. She knew the rules. It was naive to think Lewis would forget them. Olivia waited a beat before reluctantly opening her eyes.

Lewis tilted his head. "One thing before we get started." He lifted the knife to Olivia's chest and pressed the blade into her breast, sinking it into her skin. A muffled scream clawed out of her throat as she registered the pain.

"That was for telling me no." Lewis rebuked harshly, twisting the blade sideways.

Olivia howled behind the duct tape, twisting to get away from him. She looked down at the knife and the dime size hole it had created. Tears fell down her cheeks as she pulled harder against her restraints. This wasn't fair. She was only trying to save a life. Why did everything always end with pain?

Lewis maintained his pressure on the knife until Olivia's struggles waned. He slid the knife out and dug his finger into her new wound. "You don't tell me no," he said firmly. "You know better."

Olivia let out another cry of pain, her face twisting with discomfort.

Lewis dropped his hand and wiped the blood off on his shirt. "Now then," he glanced down to a petrified Allison. "Are you ready for some fun, Allie?"

Allison's wide eyes darted between Lewis and Olivia, so frozen by fear she didn't even make a sound.

"You don't mind if I call you Allie, do you?" Lewis asked softly, reaching for the duct tape.

Allison winced as he ripped the tape off. "Please don't hurt me," she said hoarsely.

Lewis raised his eyebrow and looked back to Olivia. "Didn't we just have this conversation?"

"Just let me go, I won't say anything. I promise. I don't even know who you are!" Allison pleaded.

Lewis rolled his eyes with a chuckle. "You're not going anywhere, honey." He slid his hand inside her sweater, caressing her stomach.

Allison groaned and tried to pull away from him. "Get your hands off me, you pervert!"

Olivia winced at the masked fury igniting in Lewis' eyes. This wasn't going to end well for Allison.

Lewis raised the knife to Allison's chin, blood still staining the tip. "I can always finish slicing your neck."

Allison's breath hitched. "Please -" her voice broke.

"If you ask me to let you go again," Lewis interjected firmly. "I will shove this knife down your throat."

Allison squeaked and closed her mouth. She looked to her left, casting a pleading look to Olivia.

They were mere inches apart, but Olivia knew nothing could be done. Restraints held each of them in place. The time to help Allison had passed. She gave a slight shake of her head. There was nothing she could do.

"I know you're scared, Allie." Lewis said softly. He lightly caressed her cheek with the knife. "And that's okay. Everyone gets scared."

Indignation and disgust filled Olivia as she watched Allison cringe away from the knife. Just once, Olivia wished Lewis could be tied down, and she could have the knife. Or the gun. Or the blowtorch. Maybe even all three. She would gladly teach him what fear felt like.

Lewis slid the knife down Allison's chin and onto her neck. He dug the blade into the thin cut he had made there, drawing a pained whimper from Allison. "But if you're a good girl, if you behave," Lewis moved the knife down her torso. "It might not be so bad. You might even live for a few days."

"A few days?" Allison whimpered. Her body trembled, evidence of the fear coursing through her veins.

Lewis laughed and stabbed the knife through her sweater.

A startled cry passed through Allison's lips at the knife scraping her skin. Her eyes followed the knife moving back up her stomach, tearing her sweater in half.

"With what I do, my girls don't last more than that. Well, most of them don't." Lewis sliced the rest of her sweater in half and spread apart the green material. Lust shined in his eyes, his gaze lingering at the blue bra covering her breasts.

Allison turned away from him, tears running down the side of her face. "Why? Why are you doing this?"

Olivia's stomach turned. The heartache in Allison's voice made her rethink her decision. Lewis loved the fear, the struggle. And Allison was giving him both.

"You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time." Lewis watched her conflicted emotions with a curious smile. He moved his hands down to her pants and undid her buckle.

"No, no, come on." Alison groaned. Her belt slid out from under her and fell to the floor. She felt Lewis' hands at her stomach, loosening the button on her jeans. A rip echoed through the room as Lewis sliced through her pants. Allison gasped and started to kick against the rope holding her down.

Lewis growled and climbed on the bed, one knee on either side of her stomach. "Stop, Allie," he commanded fiercely. "Now." He closed his hand around her throat, watching her struggle against his hold.

Olivia cringed at the struggle in front of her. Lewis held his grip for a few seconds before removing his hand. He cut off the rest of Allison's pants, smiling at his subdued victim. Olivia tried to block it out, to go somewhere else in her head. But Allison's cries and Lewis' laughter kept her present in this prison cell that had become her home. She watched Lewis cut off Allison's underclothes and toss them aside.

Lewis leaned back on his heels and peeled off his t-shirt, adding it to the tattered pile of clothes on the floor. He unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. "Are you ready for some fun, baby?"

Allison shrieked as Lewis lowered himself on top of her.

Lewis cast a victorious smile at Olivia. "Good call. She's going to be fun."

And then it was all over. His grunt echoed off the walls, followed by Allison's sob of horror. Olivia's shoulders began to shake. Heartache filled the room as Lewis started to destroy his latest victim. Olivia cringed as Lewis shifted. She should have tried harder, offered him something to lose interest in Allison. But as in so many battles she had fought these past few months, Lewis had won. And Olivia had lost. The only thing left to do was watch. She had caused Allison enough pain already. The least she could do was spare Allison further punishment. So Olivia steeled herself and determined to endure. Because there was nothing else to do.

* * *

"Just once, I'd like to have a lead that doesn't involve a hardware store," Nick muttered as he fell into the car, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Take it easy. At least we have a lead." Amanda started the ignition and glanced at the receipt in her hand. "Maybe we can figure out what he has planned. It evidently requires electrical tape, tarps, wood sealant, and nails."

Nick shook his head with a wince. He didn't want to know what Lewis planned on doing with the nails. His phone started ringing and he pulled it out, grateful for the distraction. "Detective Amaro."

Amanda folded the receipt in half and took a sip of her coffee. Circles lined her eyes, evidence of her exhaustion. Their team had been running non-stop since Liv's disappearance, but the last few days had developed a heightened sense of urgency. She took another sip of her coffee and watched ESU swarm the blue convertible a few yards away. They hadn't found anything yet. Lewis didn't usually leave anything helpful in the car, but maybe they would get lucky this time.

"We'll be right there, thanks Captain." Nick ended his call and turned to her with a hopeful smile. "Another sighting. He was spotted at a grocery store about fifteen minutes away."

Amanda let out a breath of relief and buckled her seatbelt. "When?"

Nick looked away, frustration seeping into his voice. "Yesterday. But at least it's not a hardware store." He pulled the store's address up in his phone as Amanda shifted the car into drive. "The general manager called it in. He and the cashier who checked Lewis out are waiting for us. Apparently he paid in cash. Guess he's running out of stolen credit cards." Nick gestured to the right, and Amanda turned onto the highway.

They settled into the car and passed the time in relative silence, both detectives anxious about any new information they could get. It should have been a short drive. Maybe it was. But time crawled by these days. They were doing all they could to find Olivia, but Lewis was good. He kept her hidden. He stayed two steps ahead of them and never seemed to make a mistake. At least not a helpful one. And that made each minute feel like an eternity.

Amanda finally pulled up to the grocery store and parked at the front entrance. The hurried into the store, intent on following this lead before it grew cold.

The manager met them at the door, a tall man with salt and pepper hair. "Hello, detectives. Nice to meet you, my name's Chuck." He extended his hand.

Nick shook his hand firmly. "Thank you for calling."

"Of course. This is Sharon, the cashier I mentioned." Chuck gestured to the brunette standing back a few feet. "She recognized his photo from the news this morning. We pulled the video footage to be sure before we called you. He was here."

Amanda walked over to Sharon and held out a photo of Lewis. "This was the man you saw yesterday?"

"Yeah, I remember talking to him." Sharon crossed her arms, her eyes darting between the two detectives.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Amanda questioned, trying to mask the impatience coursing through her.

Sharon paused and looked to her manager who gave an encouraging nod. She put her arms down with a sigh. "He seemed nice. He bought about $150 worth of food and household items."

"Like what? You have a receipt?" Nick interjected.

"We fished through her sales from yesterday. She's pretty sure this one was his." Chuck handed them a long receipt.

Nick glanced through the list. The items were just as random as the hardware supplies Lewis had picked up. Bread, gasoline, peanut butter, bananas, towels, the list went on. "What is he doing?" he muttered under his breath.

"He said his wife was pregnant. He joked about her nesting, him having a honey-to-do list," the shy cashier offered.

Amanda set her jaw. She was so tired of that cover story. "Did you not think it was odd that he didn't have a wedding ring on?"

A pink blush settled on Sharon's cheeks. "I wasn't really looking at his hands."

Amanda rolled her eyes. "What else did he say?" she ground out.

Sharon shrugged. "Not much. I think his wife was sick, he mentioned something about bananas being her thing. You know, like when pregnant women want weird stuff?"

"She's not his wife! He's holding her hostage." Nick boiled with anger.

"I didn't know," Sharon looked down. "I'm sorry."

Nick sighed and glanced back at the receipt in his hand. "What is this last thing he bought?" Nick asked, handing the receipt back to her.

She scanned through the receipt for a moment before her eyes lit up. "That must have been the onesie."

"What?" Amanda's voice rose. She couldn't have heard that right.

"He bought the baby an outfit, a gray onesie with black writing. It said Daddy's Little Helper and had hardware tools on it. He said his wife would get a kick out of it."

Nick bristled and clenched his jaw. "Were any cars reported stolen out of your parking lot yesterday?" he asked the manager tartly.

The manager shook his head. "Not that I know of."

Amanda flipped out her business card. "If he comes around again, you call us. He is armed and dangerous. Don't try to stop him and don't engage him. Just call the second you see him."

The manager nodded and put the card in his pocket.

"He seemed like such a nice man," Sharon said wistfully.

"Well, he's not," Amanda retorted. "He is a serial killer who kidnapped an NYPD detective 131 days ago. And if you see him again," she met Sharon's eyes with a firm intent. "You need to give us a call."

The cashier gave a sheepish nod at the detectives as they turned for the door.

Nick swung the door open and headed for the car. "We're going to find them. And when we do," he shot Amanda a look. "Lewis is a dead man."

* * *

Olivia winced at the loud slap echoing through the room.

"Please," Allison sobbed, burying her head into her arm. "I'm sorry. Please, stop."

"Waving the white flag already?" Lewis wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Thought you wanted to fight. I can keep doing this all night, baby."

Allison sobbed harder and recoiled from the hand reaching for her face.

Olivia blinked her eyes closed for half a second, trying to escape the torment in front of her for just a moment. Time passed so slowly when Lewis was present. Even more so when being hurt by Lewis. As Allison was finding out.

Lewis picked up the knife and slid it across Allison's stomach. "You know, there's a few things I can't do to Olivia anymore. Wouldn't want to hurt Junior." He grinned. "But with you, Allie, we don't have that problem."

The knife cut into Allison's stomach and drew a thin line across her skin. A pained cry sounded from Allison as the pain registered.

Olivia took in a deep breath, trying to quell her growing nausea. She wished looking away was an option. Her stomach wasn't helping the situation either. Blood didn't usually bother her, but the musky smell of the cement room along with the copper blood filling the room, the nausea came in spades. Unfortunately, getting sick wasn't an option. Not with the duct tape covering her mouth.

Lewis carved another line into Allison's stomach, wrenching another cry from her. "You know, we could do something fun with this. Dress your stomach up a bit."

A shaken Allison turned her fearful eyes back to Lewis.

"What do you think about Tic Tac Toe?" Lewis asked mischievously.

Olivia gagged.

He turned to her and frowned. "What's wrong with you?"

She gagged again as bile rose in her throat. It was coming too fast, she couldn't get it back down this time. Olivia's panicked eyes met his disapproving glare.

Lewis raised his eyebrow as she started coughing. He pushed himself up with a sigh and peeled the duct tape off her mouth.

Olivia turned her head to the side and emptied the contents of her mouth. She gasped for air, her lungs burning for oxygen.

He watched her dispassionately. "I thought we were done with this." He glanced down at the vomit in annoyance.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Olivia croaked.

Lewis shook his head, his eyes still on the newly decorated floor.

"You know it doesn't stop, not once I get sick." Olivia watched his hand twitch as he looked back at Allison.

"Fine," he replied tersely. "Guess you get a break, Allie." Lewis sat up and noted Olivia's pale complexion. "You're pretty high maintenance, detective."

Olivia set her jaw. She didn't ask for this. A fact he well knew. But her getting sick provided a golden opportunity to get Lewis away from Allison. So she meekly sat still as Lewis pulled her chair away from the bed and cut away the rope securing her legs.

Lewis pulled her to a standing position, sending a stabbing pain across her shoulder. A groan passed through her teeth as he shuffled her through the door. Of all the places he could have burned, why did Lewis have to burn something that hurt absolutely every time she moved?

Olivia gagged again as they passed into the bathroom. Lewis shoved her head into the cement bowl as another wave of vomit poured out. She stayed there for several minutes, emptying what little contents her stomach had. Olivia hated being pregnant.

Lewis released his hold on her neck and stepped back. "How long is this vomiting thing supposed to last?"

She spat into the toilet. "I don't know."

"Guess," he said flatly.

"Usually the first three months." Olivia retched again, dry heaving into the toilet.

"Then why are you still getting sick?" Lewis asked in irritation.

"How should I know?" Olivia bit out. "It's your kid."

He watched a string of drool fall from her lip. "Yours too, sweetheart."

Olivia scowled and tried to catch her breath. She leaned her head against the wall and focused on slow breaths.

"Are you done?" Lewis asked impatiently. "I'm kind of in the middle of something."

She closed her eyes, ignoring his question. She wished she could crawl into this wall and disappear. Never have to deal with Lewis again. She could just vanish and be done with everything.

"Hey!" Lewis leaned over and grabbed her hair. "I asked if you were done!"

Hatred filled her core. She was so tired of being his toy, tired of playing his games. Before she could process anything else, her head swung up and connected with Lewis' nose.

He grunted in surprise as his head snapped backwards. The back of his head cracked against the sink, his eyes closing as his body slumped to the ground.

Olivia froze, astonishment coursing through her. She stared at his unmoving body for a few seconds before she saw his chest rise. The beast was still alive, just out cold. Olivia's eyes darted around the room, looking for a weapon. But the bathroom was bare. There was no plunger in the corner, no toilet paper rod to hit him with, no soap she could pour in his eyes.

What had she done? Panic threatened to overwhelm her. She hadn't thought this through. Her instincts had just taken over. What was she supposed to do now? Her hands were still cuffed behind her, and she had no idea where Lewis had the key. Hopefully, they were in his pocket, but his clothes were in her room. And the gun had disappeared hours ago. A sinking feeling settled in Olivia's stomach. She would have to leave the bathroom. Olivia eyed Lewis warily. His legs draped across the doorway. Even if she could find the leverage to shove all of him into the bathroom and close the door, she couldn't risk waking him up. She had to leave him like this.

Olivia took a deep breath and stepped over him, half expecting a hand to snake around her ankle. Her feet landed in the hallway, and she let out a breath of relief. Her feet carried her through the kitchen and into the cement room she despised so much.

Allison flinched at her entrance. She shivered on the blood covered mattress. Red circles from the cigarettes lines her breasts and stomach. Bite marks were starting to bruise against her neck, evidence of the torture she had lived through.

Olivia slid to a halt. "Are you okay?" It seemed like a silly question, given their circumstances. But Allison didn't look too good.

"Where is he?" Allison whimpered.

"He's in the bathroom." Olivia looked around the room, her eyes scanning through the various articles of clothes on the floor. "Where are his pants?" she muttered.

"What are you doing? Why is he still in the bathroom?" Allison asked in confusion. "What's going on?"

"It was an accident." Olivia knelt down on the floor with a groan and felt around for his jeans.

"What was an accident?" Allison's voice rose as she lifted her head. "What happened?"

"He hit his head on the sink. He's out, but he won't be for long." Olivia's fingers brushed against a belt. "Can you tell if these are his jeans?"

Allison looked over the bed and tilted her head. "I – I can't see."

Olivia threw her head back in frustration. "We don't have time for this."

"Untie me," Allison suggested hoarsely. "I can help you find them."

Olivia's eyes darted to the door. She didn't know if she had the time to untie Allison. She had to find the hand cuff keys and the gun. She was already on borrowed time.

"Why do you need his jeans anyway?"

"The handcuff key," Olivia replied, her anxiety quickly growing. "I need the key."

"Do you even know if they're in his pants?" Allison fell back against the mattress. "It would go faster if you untie me. It will take forever to find anything with your hands cuffed."

Olivia kept her eyes on the door. Allison had a point. This was getting her nowhere. "Fine." Olivia pushed herself off the floor, lips closed tight against the groan clawing at her throat. She hurried to the bed and turned around, feeling for the rope around Allison's wrist. "It might take me a minute."

Allison glanced back to the door. The past few hours had showed her what Lewis was capable of, and she had no desire to stick around for more. "Just hurry."

"Do you know where Lewis put the gun?" Olivia asked, wincing at the effort it took to loosen the knot.

Allison paused and looked around. "Not since he picked up the knife. But it has to be in here somewhere, right?"

Olivia's eyes closed. "We have to find it before he wakes up."

Allison scowled and tried to pull her hand free from the rope. "Finding the gun won't be very helpful if we're both still tied up."

"Stop," Olivia snapped. "I almost have it, you'll just make it tight again if you do that."

Allison rolled her eyes and stilled her movement. "Hurry," she urged.

Olivia bit her lip and pulled harder. "There," Olivia sighed in relief. "I've got it."

Allison slid her hand free from the rope and winced at the bruised mass of skin covering her wrist. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet, we still have to get out of here. Untie your other hand, I have to find the key." Olivia turned back to the pile of clothes and used her feet to separate out the different material. She finally uncovered his jeans and drug it to the side with her toes. She knelt back on the floor and felt for the pockets.

"I can't get it." Allison pulled at the rope securing her right hand. "It's too tight."

"Then you have to try harder," Olivia retorted. Lewis would be furious when he woke up. She didn't have time for a pep talk. They had to move. Now. She moved her hands to the other pocket and felt something hard. She reached in and pulled out a thin piece of metal. Her shoulders relaxed. She had found the key.

Allison slid her body closer to the edge of the bed, using her freed hand and her mouth to work on the knot.

Olivia twisted the key in her hand to slide it into the key hole, but it fell back down to the floor with a clatter. She hissed in frustration.

Allison bit down on the rope and tugged on it. The knot loosened and her fingers pulled apart the knot. "I got it!" she announced happily.

"Work on your feet, then. We have to hurry." Olivia picked the hand cuff key back up and carefully twisted it around. After a few misses, she felt it click into the keyhole. She turned it and felt one of the silver bracelets loosen. Hope began to kindle in her heart. Maybe they could actually get out of this. Maybe she could go home. She pulled her hand free and stood to check on Allison. "Let me help you."

"You two going somewhere?"

Allison froze, her hands halfway to her ankles. Olivia met her panicked gaze and closed her eyes. No. Not when they were so close to getting out of here.

He leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms. "And here I thought you were behaving so well."

Olivia turned around and trembled at the sadistic glare sent her direction. "Lewis."


	7. Chapter 7

Here we are again. So sorry for the delay in posting this chapter: I have discovered fight scenes are not my thing. My apologies in advance if this chapter sucks. As always, keep the reviews coming! Let me know what you like, what you don't like, what I can do better. All of the comments have been helpful, so thank you! On that note, this chapter does contain more detailed torture than the other chapters. So read at your own discretion. And please don't hate me?

* * *

Olivia gaped at him, her muscles rigid with the tension coursing through her. How was he already awake? Her gaze shifted to the gun held firmly in his hand, and she was overwhelmed with the desire to throw herself at his feet. Beg him for mercy she knew he wasn't capable of.

"You really think I'm stupid enough to leave the gun in here?" Lewis straightened, his broad form filling the doorway. "I learned a long time ago never to underestimate you."

Olivia's fingernails dug into her palms, her eyes darting between Lewis and Allison. Her tongue refused to move, seeming to understand nothing she said would make a difference.

"Really though, what was your plan? Huh?" Lewis crossed his arms, keeping his finger on the trigger. "Get the cuffs off, find the gun…then what? You can't call for help. There's no phone. And the car? You'd never find it."

"Just let us go," Allison whimpered.

Lewis sneered at her. "Shut up."

"Leave her alone!" Olivia jumped in, suddenly able to find her voice. "She didn't do anything."

"No?" Lewis pushed off the door frame and walked towards them, danger lurking in his light brown eyes. "Is that why she's trying to untie her ankles?"

Allison cringed and dropped her hands, her dejected eyes meeting his piercing gaze. She raised her trembling hands in an attempt to appease him. "I'm sorry. Please…please don't -"

"I said shut up!" Lewis rounded on her, crashing the gun into her head.

"Stop! Leave her alone!" Olivia insisted, indignation filling her heart. She took a step towards him, wanting to stop any further outburst.

"Or what?" Lewis turned on his heel, moving to grab her. "What are you gonna do?"

Olivia jumped to the side, narrowly avoiding him. His fingers grazed against her naked breasts, and the reality of her situation hit her full force. What was she going to do? Even if he didn't have the gun, she never stood a chance fighting him. He had brute strength on his side. And she could barely stand up straight. "You're right." Olivia put her hands up, hoping to calm him down. "You're in charge."

"Don't try to coddle me." He snapped, moving closer towards her.

Olivia's eyes widened, her feet moving backwards. His anger sucked the air out of her lungs, and her brain scrambled to keep working. "I – I'm not," Olivia stammered. "This – this was me. All me. Leave her out of this."

Lewis narrowed his eyes. "So you're not coddling me. You're just telling me what to do."

Olivia opened her mouth and then closed it. She couldn't talk her way out of this. She glanced past him, checking on the unconscious woman lying on the mattress. She needed to get Allison out of here. But that wasn't looking promising.

Lewis sneered. "You finally decide it's a good idea to stop talking?" He took another step towards her, an evil grin spreading on his face as she backed into the table. "Nowhere to run, baby."

Bile rose in her throat, the wooden table digging into her hips. Her shaky legs threatened to buckle, and Olivia grabbed the table, anxious to remain upright.

"You don't look so good. Maybe you should sit down," Lewis suggested huskily. He put one arm on either side of her, pinning her between him and the table.

Another wave of nausea hit her, the baby eager to prove his father's point. She cringed and swallowed it down, inwardly begging the baby to work with her just this once. She could feel Lewis' warm breath against her face and turned away from his penetrating gaze.

"It's always the hard way with you, isn't it?" Lewis jerked her chin back towards him. Lust flickered in his eyes as he drank in the emotions written on her face.

Olivia's heart skipped a beat as she took in his furious glare, the sadism she only saw when the psychopath in him was at its worse. She had spent enough time with Lewis to almost read his mind. And as she searched his gaze, what she found there terrified her. She clenched the table harder, her shaky legs protesting her weight.

Lewis sneered at her obvious weakness and lowered his head. He captured her lips with bruising force, his fingers digging into her chin.

Olivia groaned against him, her grip jostling the table. Glass clinked behind her, and Olivia's eyes flew open as she registered the sound. The oil lamp. She reached for it without a second thought, throwing it against his head. He broke the kiss as the lamp's globe shattered on his head, a shower of glass cascading around them. Lewis stumbled back with a startled grunt, the gun falling to the floor.

The smell of gasoline assaulted her nose. Broken glass covered the ground, and Olivia was pretty sure she was going to throw up any second. But all she could see was the gun. She pushed off the table and lunged for it, adrenaline pumping through her veins.

A dazed Lewis saw the focus of her attention and caught her with a growl of frustration. She struggled against him, and their uncoordinated movements sent them crashing to the floor. Olivia landed on Lewis' arm, his body providing a partial cushion against the cement. She fought against him, the gun no longer a viable threat. Her hands clawed at his face, the silver handcuff still dangling from her wrist.

Lewis furiously reached for her hands. "You just never learn, do you?" His fingers closed around her wrist, but his grip didn't have its normal force. He was still disoriented from the two blows to his head.

Olivia twisted beneath him and looked for the gun. She could feel her strength waning. Desperation clawed out of her heart, demanding attention. If she lost, Lewis would come down hard. Harder than normal. And this time, she wouldn't be the only one suffering the consequences. She spotted the gun and she set her jaw. Olivia twisted free of his grip and stretched for the gun.

Lewis grabbed her by the hair and flung her to the side. "Where do you think you're going?"

She cried out as her she slid across the floor, the shards of glass cutting into her back. Lewis was on her in an instant, pinning both of her arms above her head. "Stop it, Olivia. You're done."

His weight settled on her hips, ensuring she couldn't move. "Please. I can't do this anymore." Tears filled Olivia's eyes, evidence of the broken woman hiding inside.

Lewis shook his head, tension in his jaw. "That's not your decision." He lifted Olivia by the hair and slammed her into the ground. His fist then collided with her face, causing an explosion of pain behind her eye. Her eyes opened in time to see another swing connecting with her face. And just like an old friend, darkness came for her.

* * *

Faint crackling reached her ears, pulling her from the blackness she had come to crave. A muffled groan passed through her lips. She felt like a hammer was dancing around inside her skull, the pounding of her brain almost taking her breath away. Her eyes blinked open, causing a shooting pain in her pupils. Blurry shapes and dull colors were all she could see. She winced and closed her eyes, turning her head to escape the light from the burning fire pit.

Olivia took a deep breath to calm her stomach and waited until the ringing in her ears died down. She slid her eyes open, blinking until she could distinguish the faded mattress beneath her. Her brow furrowed. She was on her stomach. Olivia went to reach for her pounding head but found her hand couldn't move. She raised her eyes and found rope secured to her wrist. Her hand was already turning red, and there was no slackness in the rope. A part of her knew that was bad, but she couldn't concentrate enough to figure out why. A quick tug proved her other arm was similarly restrained, along with her legs.

She searched her mind for what had happened, the reason everything hurt so bad. Olivia shifted and was rewarded with a stinging pain in her back. She let out another pained cry and went limp, the rough material chafing her blistered shoulder. She couldn't remember the last time she hurt this bad. Her eyes lowered back to the mattress, landing on a crimson stain. The blood stood out in sharp contrast against the dull white material. It was an odd spot for blood. It almost lined up with her neck. But Lewis hadn't cut her neck. Had he?

Olivia carefully turned her head to the left, taking inventory of her room. It was empty, lit in a faint glow from the fire by the door. Lewis had left the door open, probably to vent the smoke. Her eyes darted around the room before landing on the wooden chair a few feet away. Her eyes widened. "Allison!" The last few hours flooded her memory, filling her with panic.

She fought her restraints with renewed energy, trying to ignore the mounting tension in her head. "Lewis!" Ringing filled her ears, the room once more twirling in a sea of dark colors. But that didn't matter. She knew what Lewis did when he was angry. And if Lewis wasn't with her, that could only mean he was with Allison. A fate she wouldn't wish on anyone.

"Lewis!" her voice cracked. "Where is she?" Her head pounded harder with each breath she took, making it harder to focus. She pulled against the rope, knowing full well it wouldn't budge. Not that it mattered. She couldn't just lie here doing nothing. Not when someone else's life was on the line.

"You were out for a while."

Olivia jolted at his voice. She winced and swallowed her groan. "Where's Allison?"

He sauntered slowly into her line of vision, his face void of all emotion. "Away from you."

"What did you do to her?" Olivia anxiously searched his face for answers, not entirely sure she wanted to know.

Lewis came to a halt, regarding her with disinterest. He had gotten dressed, Olivia noted. He had even put his work boots back on. "A few things."

"Is she still alive?" The words passed through her lips before Olivia could stop them.

"For now. Though I don't think she's very happy about it." Lewis snorted.

Olivia thought her heart would pound out of her chest at the callous tone he used. "Leave her alone, this is between you and me."

"I couldn't agree more."

She cringed at the anger radiating from him. She had fought him hard. And lost. Twice. Olivia took in his appearance, wondering how bad he was going to punish her for this. A bruise colored his temple, along with a few scratches. Given the world of pain she was in, Olivia felt disheartened at his lack of injury.

"You're persistent, I'll give you that." Lewis rubbed his head. The movement raised his shirtsleeve, exposing the white bandage around his arm. He met her quizzical gaze with annoyance. "A part of the lamp got stuck in my arm. It bled pretty good."

At least that was something. A wound that showed she wasn't a passive little puppet. Olivia's eyes darted around the room. The glass had exploded around them, she remembered it flying everywhere. But you would never know it. There was no evidence of their struggle. The room looked surprisingly clean given how it was when they arrived.

"It took me awhile to clean up your mess," he acknowledged. His hands clenched into a fist, his displeasure rapidly apparent. "Only have one thing left to do." Lewis smirked and looked to her back.

Olivia's lips parted as she realized why her back throbbed. And why Lewis had tied her down on her stomach. She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes. This was going to hurt.

Lewis lifted the needle nosed pliers he carried in his hand. "Looks like I get to use these on you after all." He sat down beside her and ran his hand along her back. "You really did a number on yourself."

Olivia cringed at the feel of his skin. She could argue that he was the one who did this, throwing her across the floor. But she doubted that would make a difference. "Just get it over with it," she ground out. She clearly couldn't stop this torture. But she could at least make sure he enjoyed it as little as possible.

"What's the matter, Olivia? Thought you enjoyed doing things the hard way."

Her breath hitched at the cold pliers touching her shoulder. She could feel the shards of glass now, how they shifted when she moved. Olivia knew they had to come out, but she also knew Lewis would make this as painful as possible. "You act like you need an excuse to do this."

Lewis opened the pliers and set his attention on a piece of glass sticking out of her shoulder. "I don't. Not with you trying to be Wonder Woman over here." The pliers slid into her open wound and gripped the glass. "Maybe I've just been too easy on you lately."

Olivia hissed as Lewis stabbed the glass further into her shoulder before yanking it out. His words rang in her ears like a sick joke. The blowtorch, the knives, the endless assaults. How did he think that was easy?

"That's okay. I can fix that. First, we'll get all this glass out. And then, well…" Lewis moved the pliers between her shoulders. "Then I can remind you how bad life can be after you piss me off."

Her muscles went rigid, preparing for a new onslaught of pain. Lewis closed the pliers on another piece of glass and pulled it down her back.

Olivia screamed and bucked against the pliers. The pain rolled down her back, the glass slicing her apart.

"Easy there, sweetheart. Might not want to move when I'm this close to your spine." Lewis chuckled. He pulled out the bloodied piece of glass and tossed it in the bucket.

"Please," she whimpered. He had barely started and already the pain consumed her. But Lewis knew nothing of mercy. Not now. Not ever. Especially not after she almost escaped.

Lewis reached for another piece of glass, this time going for one under her shoulder blade. He dug the pliers into her skin, twisting the glass he found there. "You should know better than to fight me. You did this to yourself," he whispered smoothly.

A groan clawed out of her throat, the glass tearing her skin, her muscles. "Stop," her broken voice pleaded.

Lewis stabbed the pliers into her shoulder wound, wrenching another cry from her lips. He grabbed her hair and yanked her head up. "You don't tell me to stop. And after the mess you pulled, you're lucky I don't rip you apart."

Olivia's head fell back on the mattress, cringing at the intent behind his words. She felt Lewis start again and buried her head into the mattress. He took his time, doing something different with each piece of glass. She lost count of the jabs, the cuts. The pounding in her head made it worse, every little sound screeching against her ears.

"There you go." Lewis stood and admired the bloody lines covering Olivia's back. "That wasn't so bad."

She didn't bother replying. She was too busy trying to breathe. Even still, something akin to relief passed through her that at least that part of her ordeal was done.

"Now that you're all cleaned up, what can we do to keep you from running? The blowtorch wasn't very effective last time." Lewis mused.

The relief flowing through her came to a sudden stop, and Olivia gave up on trying to keep her composure. "Please no more," she implored weakly, tears dripping off her nose. "I'll behave. I'll stop fighting."

Lewis rolled his eyes. "We both know that's not going to happen. So what can we do to keep you from running? Break your ankle? Your leg?"

"No," she pleaded.

He tilted his head and took in her wet face, the anguish etched into her features. "You're right. I'm not feeling it either." His eyes traveled down her body. "These cuts do give me an idea though."

Olivia lifted her head off the mattress, her anxious eyes following Lewis around the room.

"There it is." Lewis knelt down and picked up the black knife. "I think this will do."

She shook her head, a sob passing through her lips. "Please don't."

His eyes drank in her terror, curiosity twinkling in his eyes. He moved to the foot of the bed. "I didn't pick this fight, Olivia. You did."

Olivia flinched at his words. His hand circled around her ankle, pinning her right foot to the bed. The knife touched her heel. At first, she could only feel the cold blade. But the sharp pain hit a moment later. Her scream echoed off the walls as Lewis punctured her foot with the knife and pulled the blade up to her toes. Her brain didn't even have time to process the shockwave of agony before the knife entered the other side of her foot and made a parallel cut.

"Did you know the sole of your foot is one of the slowest areas to heal on your body?" Lewis tightened his grip on her foot, cutting a diagonal line in the arch of her foot. "It's partially because there's not as much blood supply."

She barely registered his words, her world narrowing to the ever increasing pain being inflicted on her body. His hands circled around her other foot, and she knew what was coming. Her pleas fell on deaf ears as the knife sliced into her left foot.

"But mainly, it takes longer to heal because every time you stand – you open the wound." Lewis slid the knife across the ball of her foot. "It makes walking very painful."

Olivia bit back a sob, burying her head back into the mattress. How could she have been so stupid? To think for a second that she could outsmart Lewis? That she could beat him at his own game? He had kept her in checkmate for months. Every time she thought there might be a way out, he always seemed to get there first. He always won.

Lewis finally finished his task, satisfied her lacerated feet would keep her in check. Lewis dug his finger into her foot, grinning at the tremor of pain coursing through her. "I don't think you'll be running anytime soon."

Olivia struggled to draw enough air into her lungs, the shock from her ordeal robbing her lungs of the oxygen she desperately needed. She was vaguely aware Lewis had stepped out of the room. She was alone. If only she could find some comfort in that. But she knew he would be back. Back to inflict more pain. Tear down more walls. Make her more vulnerable. His footprints echoed through the kitchen, bringing another wave of desolation crashing down on Olivia.

Lewis entered the room and walked over to her, taking note of the tears trickling out of her eyes. "What's the matter, sweetheart? Not enjoying yourself?"

Olivia's defeated eyes lowered to the bottle he carried. "What is that?"

"This?" He lifted up the bottle. "Lucky for you, I still have some extra vodka around."

Her brow furrowed. Confusion ran through her. What would he do with the alcohol? He didn't make her drink it anymore. She tried to think, but found the aching hole in her head made it difficult. Her gaze darted back to Lewis. A smile played on his lips, his eyes focused on her feet. Olivia's eyes widened, her heart beginning to race. "No. Please," she pleaded with a cry.

Lewis grinned and unscrewed the cap. "Have to clean your feet somehow."

"Please! I'm sorry!" Olivia begged. She pulled against the rope circling her raw wrists, desperate to keep him this newest torture.

"You're only sorry because you got caught," Lewis retorted.

Liquid fire erupted on her feet, the alcohol swirling into her open wounds. Olivia pulled against her restraints with strength she didn't know she had. White hot pain spread across her back a moment later as Lewis shifted the bottle. Olivia's shoulders shook, her sobs coming from a hidden part of herself that she rarely let Lewis see. But she was exhausted. And everything hurt. After everything she had endured, she didn't have the willpower to hide her emotions.

Lewis lowered the empty bottle to the floor and ran his hand along her back, reveling in her distress. "I do love the sound of your screams," he whispered. His pants fell to the floor as he climbed on the bed. Soft words fell from his lips, his body settling on top of hers.

Olivia twisted her head to the side, his crushing weight making it hard to breathe. There was no stalling. No pleading. No bargaining. Just a grunt, slow and deep. Filled with power and lust. Olivia was sure she voiced her protest, but she couldn't hear anything past the roaring in her ears. She clenched the rope holding her to the bed, her knuckles turning white. Waves of pain threatened to drown her, each one crashing over her with a force so powerful that no one could ever understand it. So mind-numbing Olivia could process nothing else. The hope she had felt not long ago was snuffed out, like a light switch had been turned off. Lewis was right. She knew better. Hope didn't exist. Not here. Not with Lewis. And as her injured body shifted beneath Lewis, she wondered if it would ever exist again.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you all so much for reading this story and for the reviews! I tried to implement a few suggestions, so I'm eager to see what you all think. This chapter is a little tamer than the last one, so it should be easier to read. At least, that was the goal. Happy reading.

* * *

Olivia shifted on the bed, her ragged breaths filling the room. A cold chill had settled in the air, into her bones. Lewis had put out the fire, something about too much smoke when the door was shut. She wasn't really sure. But at least he was gone.

A nagging voice reminded her that he would be back, but she pushed it aside. For now, she would welcome the silence. The darkness. A shiver ran through her, jostling her torn skin. A sound reached her ears, but she wasn't sure what it was. It sounded like a wounded animal, but that couldn't be right. She was alone. And that sound surely couldn't have come from her.

Olivia's stomach churned, bringing a wince. People said the nausea got better after the first trimester. She sure hoped that was the case. Not that she planned on staying pregnant. As soon as she escaped, she was getting rid of the baby. She had made that decision years ago. After watching her mother struggle to raise her, Olivia determined that if she was ever assaulted, she would never carry her rapist's baby. That feeling had only intensified when Lewis showed her the positive pregnancy test.

Even as Olivia struggled to calm her nausea, she still couldn't believe Lewis had gotten her pregnant. It seemed like a dream she couldn't wake up from. In the beginning, her only goal was to get away from him. Escape so she could terminate the pregnancy. But she didn't know if that was possible anymore. It had already been four months. What if she couldn't get out in time? What if her team couldn't find her? She would be trapped with Lewis. Stuck with a baby she didn't want.

She wasn't sure which scared her more. The idea of spending five more months with him, or the thought of Lewis delivering the baby. Olivia groaned. She couldn't let either happen. She had to find a way out and soon. Her window to escape was closing. Her sluggish body responded to commands slower each day, and it would only get worse as she the baby grew. It would be harder to move. Harder to fight.

Olivia shook her head. There was no use thinking of escape now, not with all her injuries. She closed her eyes, beckoning sleep to claim her. But it wouldn't come. She had been subject to too much violence. Her brain refused to shut down, instead filling her with images of Allison. The horror on her face as Lewis bargained with her fate. The accusation in her eyes as he tore off her clothes. Olivia knew deep down there was nothing she could have done, but she kept second guessing herself. Maybe if she had tried harder to distract him. Maybe if she had just –

A dull thud reached her ears, ending her train of thought. Olivia cringed at the light pouring into the room. He had just left. Why was he back so soon?

"Miss me, sweetheart?" His sarcastic tone echoed off the walls, mocking her misery. He walked into her line of vision and tossed a sandwich on the chair beside her. "Breakfast time."

Olivia swallowed the groan in her throat and eyed the sandwich. She couldn't tell if the smell of peanut butter made her hungry or queasy, but she wasn't eager to find out.

Lewis untied the rope around her ankle, smirking at her muffled cry. "Feet bothering you, huh?" He moved up to her head and reached for her hand. "That should make your next trip to the bathroom fun."

Her feet ached just thinking about it. She had no desire to stand anytime soon. Her eyes followed Lewis as he loosened the rope around her wrist, her fingers starting to tingle as the blood flowed back into them.

"Roll over." Lewis leaned over and grabbed the sandwich. "You can't eat lying on your stomach."

She frowned at the sandwich. "I'm not hungry."

Lewis pushed the chair close to the bed and plopped down. "Oh, come on. Peanut butter and banana. You'll love it. My momma used to make it all the time."

She stiffened at his proximity, suddenly aware her left arm was still restrained. "Your mom? I thought it was just you and your dad."

He shrugged. "It was."

"Then what happened?" she croaked.

Lewis narrowed his eyes. "That's not important. Open up."

Olivia studied him, surprised at his reaction. "Mommy issues?"

He snorted. "You're one to talk."

"At least I had my mom." She had barely spoken the words when his hand smacked across her face.

"Shut up," he hissed.

Olivia's lips parted at the danger lurking in his eyes. Whatever secret he was holding onto, she wasn't going to find it today. But at least it was something. A weapon she could hold onto for a rainy day.

"Roll over so you can eat the damn sandwich," he barked. "Now."

Olivia jumped at the tone of his voice. She needed Lewis to remain calm; she couldn't take another round of his anger. So if he wanted her to eat, she would eat. She brought her free hand up for leverage, and slowly rolled to her side, careful to avoid putting pressure on her back.

"Good girl. Now open up." He moved the sandwich to her lips, his frustration waning as she took a small bite. "There you go."

She chewed slowly, not sure she could swallow it. She didn't mind peanut butter, but it was so difficult to get anything down her throat these days.

"Pretty good, right?" Lewis licked the peanut butter off his finger. "I knew you'd like it."

Olivia grudgingly swallowed and took another bite, deciding not to comment. How ironic it was that Lewis worked harder to keep her alive than she worked herself.

"Picked up a lot of food at the grocery store, things that don't need to be refrigerated. We shouldn't need anything for a while." Lewis moved to feed her another bite.

Olivia pulled her head away and reached for the sandwich. "I can do it."

Lewis tilted his head. "Trying to be independent now, are we?"

Her eyes searched his face, wondering what she could say to have a small part of humanity restored to her world.

He shook his head before she could form the words. "I feed you, or you don't eat. And based off how much you've been throwing up, I suggest you be a good girl and eat." His tone turned mocking. "For the baby."

Olivia dropped her hand, taking on a blank stare as her mouth opened.

"See? It's not so bad, right?" Lewis grinned and held the sandwich up to her lips.

She took the bite he requested and swallowed it down, finishing off the sandwich a few minutes later.

Lewis stood and brushed off his hands. "Want some water?"

Olivia nodded, trying to dislodge the layer of peanut butter stuck to her mouth.

Lewis moved to the corner of the room, fumbling through the pile of supplies he had carried inside. He tossed a blanket on the floor, emptying a few bags before he found it. "Ah, there they are." He grabbed a bottle of water and moved towards her.

Olivia's eyes stayed on the blanket, even as Lewis titled her chin back for a drink. The water swirled into her mouth, and she took a moment to relish the moisture.

Lewis tossed the bottle back in the corner and pushed her back down on her stomach.

She winced as Lewis tied her back down, a slow uneasiness growing in her stomach. She hated being restrained. Not that she had any say in the matter.

"Wait," her raspy voice called out, stopping Lewis as he reached the door. "Can I get the blanket?"

Lewis cast a glance at the fleece blanket on the ground, as if noticing it for the first time.

"It's cold," she reasoned quietly. Her body shivered, goosebumps raised on her skin.

"It is cold," he agreed. But he stood still, not moving a muscle.

Olivia set her jaw in annoyance. "Please," she said flatly.

Lewis smirked. "Be glad to, baby." He grabbed the blanket and shook it open, grinning at her compliance.

Olivia grit her teeth as he laid the blanket on top of her, tucking it around her. The blanket's pressure against her raw skin almost took her breath away, but if it meant being warm, she could deal with it.

Lewis leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Be a good girl."

The door closed with a thud, the metal clanks confirming she was locked in. Olivia buried her head in the mattress, anxious to feel something besides pain. Lewis exhausted her in every way. His words rang in her head, giving her something to contemplate. Maybe she should just be a good girl. It was the only card she hadn't played.

* * *

"Would you just stop?" Amanda cast an irritated glance at Nick.

He raised his eyebrows, following her gaze to his tapping fingers. "Sorry," he mumbled. Nick folded his arms and studied the tree line they were passing. "What if they're close by?"

She turned her attention back to the road, pressing harder on the gas pedal. She couldn't blame Nick for feeling anxious, but it made her feel like the car was getting smaller by the minute. "Lewis is smart. He wouldn't stop at a store down the street from where he's holding her."

"I know." Nick's head dropped. "I keep thinking we're missing something, though. Maybe something he bought. The receipts have to tell us something, right?"

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Other than they're hungry?"

Nick frowned. No, it had to be more than that. He took the receipt out of his pocket and glanced through the list again. There had to be a pattern, something they could use to find Olivia.

Amanda took another sip of coffee, glancing at the time with a frown. Each lead was so far apart, they spent more time in the car than actually working the case.

"What if we're going about this all wrong?" Nick glanced through the receipts, looking through the random items Lewis had bought.

"Hm?" Amanda asked, trying to calculate how fast she needed to drive to avoid rush hour.

"Maybe this is a longshot. But just hear me out." Nick held up his hand. "There was vomit in the car, and in the house. Which means Liv is sick, so it can't be easy to move her. What if Lewis decided to keep her in one place for a while? Lay low? So he didn't have to deal with moving a pregnant hostage?"

Amanda took a moment to process his suggestion. "That does sound like Lewis."

Nick sat up straighter, encouraged they might have some place to start. "The things he bought, it's not his usual supply of torture tools. I mean, the food makes sense. They have to eat. But the blankets and towels? The wood sealant?" Nick paused. "What if he found an abandoned house or cabin? Something that needs a lot of work but is still livable. And that's what he needs all this for."

Amanda's mind began to race through the possible scenarios. "Didn't he pick up some oil lamps? And bottles of water? It might mean there's no electricity."

Nick glanced through the receipts again, trying to decipher the items listed. "None of the food items on this list need to stay cold," he confirmed excitedly. "It's all pantry items."

"Change of plans, we need to go back to the local precinct. They'll know more about the land in this area." Amanda set her jaw and slowed the car down. "Good thing this road doesn't have much traffic."

"You're going to turn around in the middle of the road?" Nick turned to her with an incredulous stare.

"It's no big deal. There's no cars around," Amanda dismissed, pulling off on the shoulder.

Nick pointed to the blue Nissan parked on the opposite side of the street. "Except that one."

"Relax, Nick. There's nobody in it, the driver probably ran out of gas or something. I know how to drive."

Nick shook his head and pulled his attention away from the abandoned vehicle. "I'll call the captain." His body lurched forward as Amanda spun the car around. "Are you sure you know how to drive?"

* * *

"Rise and shine, sweetheart."

Olivia blinked open her sleepy eyes, careful not to move. Her head was still fuzzy, but she had learned to take inventory of her body before using any of her muscles.

"Caught some sleep, huh?" Lewis crouched down beside her, running his hand along her arm. "Looks like you needed it."

"Since when do you care?" she mumbled, her eyes half closed.

Lewis chuckled. "After all the stunts you pulled, the fact you're still breathing should say something."

"What about Allison?" Olivia lifted her head, searching his pleased expression with a sense of dread.

He tilted his head, amused at her continued interest. "Still worried about her?"

Olivia let her eyes close. She didn't have the energy to keep up with him.

"Relax. She's fine." Lewis stood to his feet. "Well actually, that might be a stretch," he admitted. "But she's still breathing. At least, she was the last time I checked."

Olivia jumped as his fingers grazed her wrists, her body taught with anxiety.

"Let's get you up. Probably have to use the bathroom, right?" He grabbed the blanket and pulled it off her back, taking a few scabs with it.

Olivia hissed at the sting and held her breath as Lewis untied her wrists. She worked to relax her muscles, wanting to fight him as little as possible. The cuffs circled around her wrists as her arms were pulled behind her back.

"You're pretty worn out, aren't you?" Lewis moved to her feet, untying her ankles. "Course, if you did what you were told, life might get a little easier for you."

She bit back a cry of pain as the rope slid across her injured feet. As much as she had to use the bathroom, she had been dreading this for hours. Lewis rolled her onto her back, and there was no blocking the scream that tore from her lips.

"Sh," Lewis whispered, caressing her face. "You're okay." He waited until she got control of her breathing. "Now, we're going to get you up. And you're gonna be a good girl, aren't you?"

His harsh tone made her heart skip a beat. Olivia licked her dry lips and nodded her head. She could barely move. Fighting would only cause more pain, and she couldn't take anymore.

"Good choice," he noted. "Up we go."

Lewis grabbed her arm and pulled her up. Olivia's mouth gaped open at the pain sweeping through her. The pressure on her feet made her want to throw up, and her weakened legs protested her weight, sending her swaying against Lewis. "I can't," she groaned.

"Oh, yes you can. You are going to walk all the way there and all the way back." Lewis shoved her forward. "Maybe this will teach you not to throw a lamp at my head."

He half pulled, half carried her to the bathroom. By the time he threw her back on the bed, her feet felt like they had been sawed in half, and a trail of smeared blood lined the floor.

Lewis unlocked the cuffs and rolled Olivia onto her back, hushing her noises of protest. "I have to work on the house today. Board up the windows, fix a few leaks." He knotted the rope around her left hand and reached for her other arm.

Olivia listened half-heartedly, arching her back to take the pressure off her cuts.

"Since I'll have my hands full with the house, I need to make sure Allie doesn't go anywhere. So she'll be in here," Lewis commented as he finished securing her to the bed.

Her eyes flickered to him, her back temporarily forgotten. "What?"

"Don't get any ideas. If either of you try anything, Allie dies the second I walk back in the door. Got it?"

"Yeah," she replied quietly as her stomach dropped. As much as she feared for Allison's life and wanted to make sure she was okay, she wasn't sure either of them were ready to talk.

Lewis grabbed the blanket off the floor and laid it back on Olivia. "Just remember, one move – " he paused with a question in his eyes.

"Lights out," Olivia finished meekly.

"Good girl." He ran his hand along her cheek with a smile. "I'll be right back."

He crossed the threshold a minute later, dragging a sullen Allison in behind him. Olivia's eyes rounded at the drastic change in her appearance. Her skin had lost color, and her eyes had grown dark. Half a dozen cuts lined Allison's stomach, and burns covered her breasts and neck.

Lewis pushed Allison into the chair, making quick work of binding her arms and legs. "Remember what we talked about?"

Allison gave a small nod, keeping her desolate eyes on the floor. She didn't even flinch as Lewis pulled the rope around her, tying her stomach to the chair.

"All right then. That should do it." He kissed the top of her head. "Behave, and you may live until tomorrow." Lewis met Olivia's worried eyes with a grin. "You girls have fun."

The door slammed shut, closing their world in darkness. Silence filled the air around them, growing so thick Olivia thought she would explode from the tension. As much as she didn't want to break that silence, they had no way of knowing how long Lewis would be gone. This could be her only chance to help Allison. And based off Lewis' pattern, Allison didn't have much time left.

"Allison?" Olivia whispered.

"Leave me alone."

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked quietly.

"I don't want to talk to you," Allison retorted.

Olivia's heart broke at the hurt in her voice. "That's okay. We don't have to talk about – "

"I said," Allison interjected firmly. "Leave me alone." She sniffed and shifted in her chair, trying to settle into a comfortable position. "Just because he put us both in here doesn't mean we have to get all chatty."

Olivia waited a beat, not entirely sure how to respond. The detective training said to empathize. But compassion had no place here. Olivia's world had narrowed to the most basics of survival, at times whittling down to one breath at a time. And if Allison wanted to survive, she would have to do the same thing.

"When Lewis first took me," Olivia started softly. "I didn't talk much either. Didn't see much point in it. He got mad at everything I said." The memories flooded back, taking Olivia to a different place. A different person.

"I didn't know what was going to happen. It's terrifying. To be completely helpless. To know he can do whatever he wants, and you can't do a damn thing about it." Her voice faltered. "I was so angry. Angry at him for – for everything he did to me. But mostly, I was mad at myself for letting it happen."

Allison sniffed, trying to stop the tears from pouring out.

Olivia dropped her head against the mattress, thinking back to those first few days. "I kept thinking I should have fought harder. This happened to other people. Not to me." Olivia's voice broke, echoing through the cement room. "I'm sorry, Allison. I'm so sorry for what happened. But at least you're alive. Lewis was going to kill you. He was killing you."

"You should have let him finish," Allison interjected bitterly, her voice thick with emotion.

"No, come on Allison," Olivia said firmly. "Listen to me. I don't know you. And you don't know me. But we can get through this. Together. Because I don't think you really want to quit. I think you're a fighter. "

"What if I'm not?" Allison cried. "What if I'm not like you? What if I'm not that strong? Maybe I just want this to be over. You don't know what he did to me. The things he made me do."

Olivia's mind rebelled at the reminder. "I know more than you think." Her voice grew quiet. "The way his hand grips your shoulder, shoving you down to your knees. The way his fingers tangle in your hair as he forces himself in your mouth. How the taste lingers for days."

Olivia's voice cracked. "I understand. The way he gets in your head, the way he makes you feel. But the things he makes us do, the things we do to survive – that's on him. Not us."

Allison let out a sob, her fear and sadness bubbling over. "I'm so scared."

"I know you are. And I wish we had time to talk about that, but I don't know when he's coming back. Lewis said you might live till tomorrow. What did he tell you? Before you came in here?" Olivia insisted, her own fears set aside.

Allison hiccupped. "If I was a good girl, he would end it tonight. But if I was bad, he would keep hurting me until my heart stopped."

Olivia bit her lip, hating what she was about to say. "He likes a struggle. If you stop fighting, he gets bored. And if Lewis gets bored, he will kill you."

"But he hurts me when I fight," Allison argued in a small voice.

"Yeah, he will," Olivia acknowledged reluctantly. "I wish there was another way. Believe me, I do. But Lewis gets off on the pain as much as he does the struggle. Fighting to stay alive doesn't always end well, but it's better than the alternative."

Allison mulled it over, sniffing away her tears. "Are you sure about that?"

* * *

Amanda bit her lip, her eyes flickering over the road map in front of them. "You guys have a lot of territory."

Detective Stiles combed his fingers through his hair. "We have to narrow it down. This entire county is made up of back roads."

Nick perched on the table, trying not to be dejected at what he was hearing. He glanced around at the busy police station, catching a few familiar faces. Lewis seemed to like up-state New York, so they had spent a fair amount of time with the Jefferson County Police Department. The people were nice enough, but it wasn't home. "Lewis likes it off the main road," he contributed. "We're looking for houses that no one has lived in for at least six months. Something run down."

Detective Stiles shrugged helplessly and gestured to the map. "This isn't Manhattan. We have dozens of back roads, all with hunting cabins that are rarely used and abandoned homes that have been left to rot. We need something more."

Amanda walked up to the map, studying it intently. "Where was that grocery store at?"

"In Newcomb, over here off Highway 28 North." Detective Stiles pointed to the center of the map.

Nick looked at all the green areas on the map and shook his head. "Maybe you're right. This is stupid, we don't even know if they're still around here."

Detective Stiles turned and gave him a look. "I didn't say you were wrong," he pointed out. "We just need to figure out where to start looking."

"Start with searching homes within a one hour radius of the grocery store. Focus on roads with not much traffic."

Detective Stiles straightened and flashed a tired smile. "Sergeant Taylor. Didn't see you come in."

"Still working on that missing girl." The sergeant yawned, his face crinkling. "Did you get the BOLO out for that car? The 2009 Nissan Altima?"

"The BOLO went out about an hour ago," Detective Stiles confirmed.

Amanda frowned. "A Nissan Altima? Blue? With Connecticut plates?"

"You've seen it?" Detective Stiles turned to her with a skeptical stare.

Nick nodded. "About thirty minutes from here. Amanda almost hit it when she turned around."

"I did not," Amanda protested quickly.

The sergeant's eyes darted between the two of them, his amusement evident. "I'll send my guys over to get the vehicle's location. Good luck with finding your detective." He nodded at the map. "Let me know what you need. We'll do anything we can to help."

"Thank you," Nick shook his hand firmly.

"There's a missing girl?" Amanda asked slowly, her eyes on the sergeant's retreating back.

"Yeah, some college girl driving through town." Detective Stiles picked up a red marker and started sectioning off the map. "She was going to her uncle's place in Vermont, never made it. Her credit card was used at a gas station about an hour from here, so we were hoping she would turn up."

Amanda and Nick exchanged worried glances. "How long has she been missing?" Nick asked with a sinking feeling.

"Not sure. She's nineteen, you never know what kids will do at that age." The detective motioned to the board across the room. "That's everything we have on her."

Amanda swallowed hard and met Nick's concerned gaze. They walked across the room and took in the sparse notes hanging on the board. Amanda's eyes were drawn to the girl's picture, a smiling teenager with blonde curls. And right underneath that photo was a name. Allison Bryant.


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you all for your continued input on the story! It took longer than intended for this chapter to be completed, so sorry about that. I'm a huge believer in letting the characters move the story, so this was a tough one to write. A psychopath is in charge, so unfortunately...sad things happen.

As always, all feedback is appreciated.

* * *

"He's still not back," Allison's voice trembled. "It's been hours."

"That doesn't mean anything," Olivia tried to console. "This house is a mess. It would take weeks to fix everything that's wrong with it."

Allison trembled, her eyes frozen on the door. The chair rattled with her movement, bringing an eeriness to the room.

Olivia took in the terrified girl with silence. She remembered that feeling. The aching pit of dread that grew each moment Lewis was gone. The steady pulse of pain reminding you that more was coming. The endless images of torture techniques running through your head. Each one more painful than the last, and a bitter prayer that Lewis wouldn't think of them. It would drive anyone crazy. But she had learned to relish the calm. "He'll be back," she responded quietly.

"But what's he doing?" Allison insisted, a sense of urgency in her voice.

"It's best not to think about it," Olivia muttered quietly.

"But when he comes back –"

"Stop," Olivia implored, the frustration evident in her voice. "Just stop. Worrying about it won't help anything."

Allison sighed and went quiet. Her hands pulled at the rope, her anxiety growing each minute.

Olivia closed her eyes and tried to dispel her anger. None of this was Allison's fault. Olivia needed to distract her, otherwise they would both go insane. "You were on a road trip, is that right?"

"Yeah," Allison sniffed. "To see my uncle."

"Do you see him a lot?"

"No, not really. I'm a sophomore in college, and we had a long weekend. My parents were out of town, so my uncle invited me over." Allison paused, her eyes welling up with tears. "I'm never going to see them again."

"Don't talk like that," Olivia admonished. "You're going to be fine. We're going to get through this. Both of us." A metal clank echoed through the room, making both women jump. A crack of light appeared as the door swung open. Olivia's heart started pounding as it revealed a tired but pleased Lewis.

"Miss me, girls?" He stretched as he crossed into the room. "Didn't mean to be gone so long. Got carried away." Lewis gave an innocent grin, attempting to hide his malicious nature.

Allison stiffened as he neared her. As vocal as she had been about him coming back, she wasn't ready for the misery that accompanied him.

"You ready for more fun, baby? You look like there's a few more hours left in you."

Her whimper curled his lips, a shine spreading through his eyes. Lewis combed her hair with his fingers, leaning in for a kiss.

"What about me?" The sound of her voice surprised them. It surprised Olivia too. Her mouth had a mind of its own lately.

"You, huh?" Lewis straightened, his play with Allison forgotten. "You look pretty tired."

She took in Allison's resigned face, the emptiness turning Olivia's stomach. "I'm suddenly too much for you? Is that it?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Jealous, sweetheart?"

Olivia fought to keep a straight face. The thought of ever wanting Lewis' attention made her blood run cold. But that was irrelevant. "I'm just saying –"

"You're just stalling," Lewis corrected with a smirk. He turned back to Allison, squatting beside her. "I think Allie would rather get this over with. Am I right? You look ready to die."

Allison bit her lip, trying to calm the horror rising inside her. She looked to Olivia for help and remembered their earlier conversation. "What if I want to live?"

Lewis raised an eyebrow. "Having second thoughts? That's not what you said this morning."

Allison swallowed hard, struggling to keep her composure. "I changed my mind."

A deep laugh rumbled in his chest. "You did? Olivia's influence, no doubt." He stood to his feet, an amused smile tugging at his lips.

"Think about how much she'll help us," Olivia volunteered, anxious to make Allison's case. "She can help me when I get sick. And she can make meals so you wouldn't have to go fishing through the supplies all the time. Think ahead, Lewis. Be smart about this."

"You think I'm dumb enough to let either one of you in the kitchen? Eating the food you make?" Lewis shook his head. "I told you from the beginning that she would die."

Olivia shook her head in denial, fierceness pumping through her veins. "You said that about me too. But you changed your mind."

"Only because of the baby," he said flatly.

"Please just let me go." Allison interjected with a quiver. "I won't tell anyone about you. I promise."

"But I already dug your grave."

Allison's sob echoed through the room. "No, please."

"Don't be stupid," Olivia retorted. "You don't have to kill her."

Tears spilled down Allison's cheeks, her face scrunched with panic. "Please. I don't want to die."

Lewis took a step back, annoyance taking over his face. "You were more fun yesterday." He reached behind him and pulled the gun from his pants. The gunshot resonated through the room, pulling a startled scream from Olivia.

"I don't do whiny." He walked over to the table, dropping the firearm on the rough wooden surface. Lewis turned to a deathly pale Olivia and frowned. "What? You've seen worse."

She could barely hear his words. The gunshot lingered in her ears, and her eyes were glued to Allison's motionless form, slumped in the chair. Her eyes remained open, but unseeing. A lingering expression of fear frozen on her face.

"Now it's just us again, sweetheart." The mattress dipped as Lewis joined her, immune to the guilt of ending a life.

"She was just a kid." Olivia's detached tone surprised her. It belied the horror churning in her stomach.

"Not anymore she's not." He caressed her growing stomach, a new emotion spreading across his face.

Olivia closed her eyes, unable to look at the lifeless body anymore. "She had a family. Friends. You didn't have to do this."

"You know me better than that." Lewis whispered. "She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Allison signed her death warrant when she got in my car. You gave her a few more days, but that's all she was ever going to get." His hand stroked her stomach, wrinkling the gray blanket around her. "Maybe next time, you'll let the girl die in the beginning."

"Next time?" Olivia choked, her eyes springing open.

"We're staying here till the baby comes," Lewis reminded. "We'll need supplies at least three or four times before then. Who knows, maybe I'll bring back two or three girls on the next trip."

"No," she pleaded. Life was too full of heartache to have Lewis hunting for more victims every time he left the house.

Lewis scoffed. "You still think you get a say in what I do?" He shook his head, amusement dancing in his eyes. "After all this time, you still don't get how this works."

Olivia's mind came to a crashing halt. She couldn't handle another Allison.

"All you have to do is stay alive and do what I tell you. And somehow, you still really suck at it." Lewis moved his hand up to her neck, running his fingertips across her soft flesh. "For a detective, you're pretty slow to figure things out sometimes."

She should have been offended at his harsh insult, recoiling at his touch. But instead, her mind spun in circles, trying to make sense of what he was saying.

Lewis frowned, the amusement waning from his eyes. His touch turned harsh, causing a groan of discomfort. "Six months is a long time. And I'm not spending it double checking every knot and chasing you down after your half-baked escape attempts."

Olivia bristled, annoyed at his implication.

He shook his head as she started to speak. "You may not mind risking your own life, but I won't let you risk our baby's life. Not anymore. So the next time you do something stupid, remember there's plenty more girls where Allison came from."

Her mouth gaped open. "You're blackmailing me?"

Lewis snarled. "Whatever it takes to settle you down."

"So what then?" Olivia's voice rose, incensed by the ultimatum this monster was giving her. "You're really planning to keep me locked up for the next six months? Hoping I don't kill you and no one finds us? You're insane!"

"Call me what you want, but I'm good at staying under the radar." Lewis loosened his grip, offering a smug grin. "You and the baby aren't going anywhere."

"My squad is going to find me," she insisted with more confidence than she felt. "And when they do, the first thing I'll do is get rid of this thing," she spat with tears in her eyes.

His leaned into her with a frightening purpose. "That thing," he hissed. "Is my baby. You've had months to deal with it, and you're still acting like a child."

Her eyes flashed in anger. "I don't care what it is. I don't want it."

"Well that's too bad." Lewis set his jaw. "It's not your decision to make. So you better settle down or a lot more people will end up like Allison. Because of you."

Their gaze of mutual hatred took her breath away. Everything in her screamed this couldn't be happening. All of this, it had to be a dream. She would wake up any minute now, and it would be over. But the steady throb of her injuries, the commanding way Lewis held her gaze – it all proved this wasn't a dream. It was her life. Her new reality. And she couldn't keep going like this. She couldn't keep fighting Lewis at every turn, only to end up losing repeatedly. Her body was wearing down, and the punishments Lewis inflicted weren't helping.

Allison's screams echoed through her memory, making Olivia flinch. She couldn't make anyone else suffer at Lewis' hands. And she knew he was counting on that. Her instinct to protect others.

The countless times Lewis told her to be good started spinning around her head. It seemed like she didn't have any other options. She had to follow his rules.

"Well? Do we understand each other?" Lewis raised his eyebrows, impatient for her decision. One he already knew she had made.

"Fine." Olivia tried to tell herself that her voice was rough only because she hadn't used it much. But the wetness in her eyes attested that wasn't the case.

"Fine what?" he asked tersely.

She narrowed her eyes, well aware she was selling her soul to the devil. "I'll settle down."

He studied her, not buying the change of heart. "Good. Because next time, I can pick up little girls."

Olivia's eyes widened and she shook her head. "No – no, I'll behave," she finished quietly.

"Good." Lewis nodded firmly. His hand travelled back down to her stomach. "The demons you're fighting about having this kid, get rid of them. You're having my baby. So deal with it."

* * *

"I heard they have a lead on Detective Benson."

Brian cast a glance over his shoulder, startled at the intrusion.

"Easy, man. Didn't mean to sneak up on you." Tucker put his hands in the air.

Brian slammed his locker shut, turning from the man who took his shield away. He would be out in the field if it weren't for Tucker. Instead of stuck in this rundown courthouse. "What do you want?"

Tucker put his hands in his pocket and leaned against the wall. "Stopped by the courthouse to check on a few things. Saw your boss for a few. He tells me you're doing well here. Considering everything you've been through."

Brian bristled. "I don't need your pity."

"Good. Because I'm not here to give you any," Tucker said flatly.

"Then why are you here, man?" Brian turned around, his face twisted with aggravation.

"I already told you," Tucker commented. "And calm down. Anger doesn't suit you."

Brian's face turned red as he clenched his fists. Tucker was getting on his last nerve. IAB or not, he was about to get his face bashed in.

"You don't want your boss to hear you explode in the locker room," Tucker said dryly.

"You think I give a damn about this place? Or these people? Liv is being held hostage by a psychopath with a thing for burning people. She's sick and she – she's going through hell. Do you even know what that monster is capable of? And you people expect me to work around the clock like nothing's wrong. I should be out there looking for her. Not babysitting a courthouse!"

"I agree."

"Get lost, Tucker. I'm off the clock." Brian brushed past him, too angry at life to deal with IAB's crap.

"What if you could be out there, looking for her? Instead of being here?" Tucker offered, pursing his lips.

Brian paused at the door, unsettled enough to listen to Tucker's argument. "What do you want?" he repeated harshly.

Tucker sauntered towards him with a shrug. "NYPD is understaffed. They need more detectives, especially with so many being pulled out to the search area. We need people on the force who know what they're doing. We're recruiting new blood, but that takes time."

Brian clenched his fists, the distrust apparent in his demeanor. "What's the catch?"

"No catch," Tucker reasoned. "You've done your time."

Brian's eyes darted between the door and Tucker. "Just like that?"

Tucker paused before responding, lines crinkling his face. "Detective Benson is a good cop. She didn't deserve this. We need all hands on deck."

Brian rubbed his head at the thought. "But I'm involved with her – they won't let me go."

"Cassidy, we both know you've been working this case from the beginning," Tucker pointed out. "We're only making it official. Don't worry about the logistics. IAB has your back."

Brian laughed at the absurdity of Tucker's comment. "IAB has never had my back."

"Then don't blow your shot." Tucker chided. "Go find Benson and bring her home."

Brian studied him, hesitant to trust IAB. "What's your game here, Tucker?"

Tucker looked past him, ignoring the question. "Stop by my office in the morning to sign the papers. Cragen will be expecting you. Detective Cassidy."

Brian offered a half nod, eyeing Tucker as he made his exit. Once he was alone, Brian collapsed on a nearby bench, feeling somewhat dazed. He had been working half-hearted for months. There was no reason for him to be promoted. He barely focused on his paperwork and frequently spaced out while his boss was giving him orders. Mostly, Brian just tried to pawn his shifts off to anyone who would take them. People who knew where their loved ones were. Because he didn't. And out of this whole mess, that was the one straw he kept coming down to. He had never told her.

For the first time in months, hope began to ignite in his heart. Tucker had thrown him a bone, and he would use it. He would find Liv no matter what it cost him. As long as he could make sure she was safe. He had gone through Lewis' case files. Brian knew what was happening to her. And he knew that trauma changed people. He had seen it countless times. He wasn't foolish enough to believe Olivia would be the same person. This ordeal would change her. It would change them both. He just didn't know how much.

Brian wasn't blind. He knew life would be different when she came back. If she came back. But they would fight that battle together. He had no doubt that fierce woman he met fifteen years ago still existed somewhere. Olivia would just need help digging that person out. And there would be a line of people ready to help her do that – him most of all. Brian took in a deep breath and stood to his feet. He could deal with IAB and their strings. As long as they helped him find Liv.

* * *

" _Ow!" Olivia clenched her fists, trying to breathe through the agony._

" _Open your legs." Lewis placed his hands on her knees, trying to pry her legs apart._

" _No," Olivia groaned. "I don't want to."_

" _Open your legs or I'll open them for you," he said firmly. "I need to check on the baby."_

 _His grip turned firm, but Olivia held her legs tightly together. "I'm not letting you have him!"_

" _You can't keep the kid in your stomach. You're not thinking." Lewis wrestled her legs open._

 _Olivia shrieked as another contraction hit, wishing more than anything Lewis had killed her already. The urge to push was fierce, but how could she deliver the baby into this hell?_

" _There! I can see the head. You have to push," Lewis commanded._

" _No," Olivia gritted out. "I'm not doing this."_

" _We're past that, Olivia." Lewis leaned forward, yanking her face with a strength that made her quiver. "It's gonna hurt the longer you wait. You're the only one who can do this. So push! Push the baby out, and we're done."_

 _She didn't want to do this. There were a thousand reasons not to. But nature was having its way, rolling over her in the process. It was now or never. Olivia gave in and nodded her weak consent._

 _Lewis removed his fingers from her face and moved back. "All right then. Time to deliver our baby."_

 _She gathered her strength and pushed, her hands clenching the mattress as the pain made her see stars._

" _That's it! Keep pushing," he urged._

 _A scream broke from her lips as she pushed harder, fairly certain this baby was tearing her apart._

 _Lewis captured the baby with a smile. "That's it." He grabbed the towel beside him, wrapping it around the baby as its cries filled the air._

" _Is it okay?" Olivia panted. She lifted her head, anxiously eyeing the bundle in his arms._

 _But Lewis ignored her question, all his focus on the baby. "Hi there, little fella." Lewis stood up from the bed, shushing the crying infant. "Sh, it's okay. Daddy's got you."_

 _Olivia's eyes widened as Lewis walked towards the door. "What are you doing?"_

 _He cast a disinterested look her way. "I don't need you anymore. I have what I want."_

 _She shook her head, panic taking over. "No! Bring up him here, I need to see him."_

" _You never wanted to have this baby. And that will be the only thing your son will ever know about you."_

" _No! Lewis, please." A sob cut off her words. She tried to push herself off the bed, but her weakened arms collapsed under her weight._

" _Goodbye, Olivia." The closing of the door punctuated his words, leaving her bloodied and exhausted. Locked in the prison that had become her home._

" _I want my baby." Her shoulders began to shake, sorrow overflowing from her heart. "I always wanted my baby."_

Cold water jolted Olivia awake, her heart pounding out of her chest. Her eyes widened at the sight of Lewis beside her.

She jerked up, barely noticing the pull of the ropes. "Where is he?"

"Who?" Lewis asked, scrutinizing her dazed state.

"The baby. What – what did you do with him?" Olivia insisted, a panicked tremor in her voice.

Lewis raised an eyebrow, taken aback by her question. "What are you talking about?"

It was Olivia's turn to look confused, her eyes darting around the room. There was no evidence of baby items or towels. No smell of sweat or blood. Her eyes lowered to her rounding middle as she slowly returned to her senses. It was just a dream. She was still pregnant. Her baby was safe, for now at least.

Quiet met her ears as a puzzled Lewis gathered his thought. "Everything okay, baby?"

Olivia refused to look at him. She could feel his penetrating gaze studying her, analyzing her every move as she fought the urge to fall apart. He had seen enough of her tears. Knew enough of her thoughts. She wouldn't let him see this. "I'm fine." The lie slipped easily from her tongue.

He studied her for a moment longer before holding up a water bottle. "Want some of this?" His strong arms didn't wait for a response, pulling her into a sitting position before she could protest.

The mattress scraped unforgivingly against her back, and Olivia winced at the discomfort. She caught a glimpse of the empty chair beside her, and grief was quick to claw at her heart. Lewis had killed many people in their time together, but this one seemed more raw. More personal. Completely unnecessary. Her eyes burned with tears.

The water bottle touched her lips, the cool liquid providing a welcome distraction. Lewis held the bottle in place for a few seconds before pulling it away. "I need to give you water more often," he noted. His finger traced her chapped lips as he drank in her conflicted emotions.

Olivia didn't comment, keeping her focus on the soft blanket tucked around her. She was grateful for its presence. Both for the warmth and the shield from Lewis' prying eyes. Not that it was much protection, but it was better than nothing.

"I finished burying Allie."

Her eyes closed at the reminder. So much for a distraction.

Lewis tilted his head at her expression. "Surprised you fell asleep. I wasn't gone long."

She curled her legs together, turning herself as far away from him as she could. The rope chafed her wrists at the strain, but Olivia barely noticed. She was angry with him. And exhausted. Let him play guessing games about her falling asleep. The human body could only stay awake for so long.

"So are you going to ask me?"

She cringed at the calmness in his voice and wished he would go back to working on the house.

"No? We're just gonna sit here and pretend you didn't dream about the baby?" Lewis cupped his hand on her belly, smirking as Olivia shrank from his touch. "I took him away, didn't I? Was that it? I know you hate me, but that seems a bit harsh."

Olivia clenched her eyes shut, refusing to acknowledge his taunts. Of course he had figured out the dream. She hadn't exactly been subtle.

"You know…for someone who insists they don't want the baby, you seem pretty protective of the kid." He clicked his tongue, settling in beside her on the bed.

Her breath caught at the feel of him. Were they in a different position, she would argue with him, explain how ridiculous that was. Any decent person would be terrified of Lewis caring for a child. Regardless of where it came from.

"You know what I think?" Lewis pressed his lips against her naked arm. "I think even if you got out…even if your team found us, you would still keep this baby. After all, your mom kept you and look at what all you've accomplished. So that must mean our kid has at least a fifty-fifty shot of not being a total screw up, right?" His chuckle rang in her ear, his arm pulling her close to him.

Disgust swarmed her stomach. "You don't know anything," she whispered.

"Why don't you fill me in then?"

His husky voice filled her ears, and Olivia couldn't hold back a whimper. Whether it was from disgust or fear, she didn't know. They were almost the same anymore.

"No? Giving me the silent treatment today, baby?" Lewis asked softly, twirling a piece of her hair. "You know, I can put a stop to that. Any time I want. It is so easy to make you scream…"

Her heart skipped a beat. There was never a good choice to make. She knew he was trying to bait her, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She had used all her emotional strength for Allison. She didn't have anything left for Lewis.

The cold air hit her skin as Lewis pulled away the blanket, exposing her breast.

Panic began to bubble inside her at the predatory look in his eyes. "I'm hungry," she offered quickly. It wasn't entirely true, but she was willing to say anything to get him off of her.

He smirked. "Me too, sweetheart."

His mouth found its mark and she grimaced. "Please, the baby wants food."

Lewis sighed and lifted his head. "The baby can wait. I've got more important things to do."

Olivia bit her lip. "How about a sandwich, the last one you made. Can I get another one?"

He narrowed his eyes, trying to discern her motive. "Peanut butter and banana?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "The baby must like your mom's cooking. It didn't make me sick."

A veil dropped over Lewis' eyes as he stiffened. "Fine." He rolled off the bed and headed for the door, offering no further protests.

Olivia's mouth hung open at his quick exit from the room. If she had known his mom was such a turn off, she would have used that months ago. The sounds from the kitchen drifted through the doorway, bringing a new dose of reality to Olivia. Was this what the rest of her life would be like? Always restrained, depending on Lewis for everything? She couldn't do it.

The latest ultimatum from Lewis came flooding back, reminding her of the consequences for her actions. It was a devastating blow. Were it just her – maybe it wouldn't be so distressing. She had realized some time ago the chances were slim of getting out alive. But now, any efforts to escape would cause the death of countless girls. And she couldn't let that happen. But the other option…to stay with Lewis, to have his baby – it went against everything she was. It was an impossible decision. But it was one she had already made.


	10. Chapter 10

Wow! Your reviews have been my favorite part of writing this story. Your feedback has been greatly appreciated and helps more than you know. It lit a fire to keep writing, so I'm low-key proud to have an update ready so soon!

This chapter has a slightly different twist than the others - you might need some tissues. Let me know what you think!

* * *

She trembled at the cool night air hugging her skin. The blanket wasn't nearly as warm with both of them under it. There was too much air flow. The cold air seemed to sink into her bones, making her body ache at its abuse. She wished Lewis had lit the fire pit before he fell asleep. The old house was drafty. Without any form of heat, it felt like a refrigerator. Even with the blanket wrapped around them, the cool temperature made sleeping fitful at best.

Olivia glanced at the sleeping man lying on her chest, jealous of his peaceful slumber. The cold hadn't affected his rest at all. His head barely laid down before he was out. Everything seemed so easy for him. Olivia frowned. It wasn't fair.

The darkness she had come to crave had changed. She was terrified to close her eyes after her last dream. Olivia didn't want to think about the baby. Not when she was awake and certainly not when she was sleeping. Time was passing much too fast. The tiny bundle of cells was turning into a person and that was the last thing she wanted. This thing couldn't be a person. It couldn't be a baby. Because she would have to love that baby. Olivia shook her head at the thought. She could never love a part of William Lewis.

She shifted on the bed, wincing as the pressure increased in her belly. Her bladder had woken her up, insisting that it be emptied. Olivia was hoping the urge would fade, but it was a foolish thought. Her bladder had become the size of a pea, and she was about to explode. Unfortunately, being tied down limited her options. It made getting up a two person job. It required Lewis.

Olivia loathed asking him for help. It was humiliating. Mostly because it was necessary. Even now, her body screamed for relief but also screamed to leave him alone. Bad things happened when he was awake. Pain happened when he was awake. But she was going to wet the bed if she didn't wake him up. Were it not for the cold, she might have chanced it. The lesser of two evils. But Olivia could barely sleep as it was. If she lost anymore warmth, it would be a very long night.

"Lewis?" Olivia whispered softly. She held her breath and kept her eyes on him, caught between relief and annoyance when he didn't budge.

Darkness outlined his relaxed form, his steady breaths warming a patch of her skin. But that wasn't enough. She needed him to wake up. "Lewis," she tried again. "I have to use the bathroom."

He groaned at her voice and buried his head in her chest. Olivia sighed in frustration. Even in sleep, he had to be difficult. That was okay. She knew how to be difficult too. Olivia arched her back and jerked her body to the right, dislodging his head.

Lewis tightened his hold on her stomach, lifting his head in groggy irritation.

"I have to use the bathroom," Olivia repeated urgently. The pain in her stomach was growing quickly, and it made Lewis' position acutely more uncomfortable.

He rolled his eyes and settled back down on her, having no interest in moving. "It's the middle of the night."

"I noticed," she retorted with impatience. Olivia wasn't in the mood for his games. "Come on, Lewis. I really have to go," she insisted.

"You just went," he mumbled, giving no indication he cared.

"I have to go again." She narrowed her eyes at his attitude, irritated at having to beg for bathroom privileges. Olivia felt like a dog whining to go outside. She hated it. "Lewis, please! I have to use the bathroom."

"All right, all right. We'll go." He pushed himself up, rubbing his eyes. "Anything to get you quiet."

Olivia stiffened as he crawled up the mattress. He was too close. She could feel the heat of his skin brushing up against her. Feel his legs straddle her stomach. His fingertips grazing her hands. She could feel her blood pressure rising and tried to remember how to breathe. He was only removing her restraints, she reminded herself. He would be done in a minute. Lewis would get off as soon as he untied the knots.

"There," Lewis mumbled as the rope fell to the ground.

Her relief was short lived as his harsh grip closed around her arm, pulling Olivia into a standing position. She bit back a cry of pain and struggled to remain upright, determined not to annoy him further.

Olivia concentrated on moving one foot in front of the other, trying to keep up with a grumpy Lewis. She tried to reduce the pain by balancing on the side of her feet, but the teetering made her head spin. She was beginning to wish he had broken her ankle after all. At least that would leave one good foot.

When they finally made it to the bathroom, Olivia collapsed on the toilet. Walking had become a chore. Especially with a full bladder.

As she relieved herself, Olivia glanced back at the hallway. The moonlight cast a pale glow off the walls, lighting up the hardwood floor. Smeared liquid lined the walkway, and she realized the cuts on her feet had opened again.

Olivia rubbed her temple with a discouraged scowl. She was so tired of Lewis and his punishments. Well to be fair, she was tired of everything. She ran her fingers through her hair, relishing the chance to massage her head. Olivia froze. Something felt off. She pulled her hands down and stared at them. The light illuminated her thin fingers and the damaged skin around her wrists. But that was it. There was nothing else. No cuffs. No rope.

Olivia changed a quick glance at Lewis. He was leaning against the door with his eyes closed, oblivious to her discovery. Her eyes fell back to her hands, studying them as if she couldn't believe they were real. Was she hallucinating? How could Lewis forget to cuff her? He never made mistakes like this.

The surprise growing inside her turned to something new. If she was unrestrained, and he was out of it – she had a fighting chance. Olivia bit her lip and shifted forward, but a slicing pain traveled up her feet, paralyzing her movement. Who was she kidding? She could barely walk. It wouldn't be enough to catch him off guard. She couldn't win that way. If that strategy hadn't worked with less injuries and more stamina, it certainly wouldn't work now. And failing wasn't an option. Not with Lewis threatening to kidnap young girls. Her hope began to fade as sadness trickled into her heart. She couldn't risk it. Not when someone else would pay the consequences.

Tears filled her eyes at the futility of her situation, bringing another level of frustration. Olivia didn't understand how she still had tears to cry. Surely she would run out of them at some point. She had heard the hormones wreaked havoc with your emotions, but she refused to be that woman. She wasn't going to sit and cry her life away – however twisted that life was.

Even still, the tears trickled down her cheeks, signaling yet another thing out of her control. Her fingers swiped at the wetness, eager to erase their presence before Lewis saw them.

"Decided against it, huh?"

Olivia jumped, her eyes darting to her captor.

"Took you long enough." He opened his eyes and regarded her with a curious interest. "Finally figure out it's not worth it?"

She gulped, hoping to erase her guilty expression. "I didn't do anything."

Lewis raised an eyebrow. "No?"

Olivia shook her head as he walked towards her. "I didn't even stand up," her voice wavered. She couldn't be in trouble. She had barely moved. Lewis couldn't get angry at that. Could he?

Lewis leaned down, grabbing her chin. "You were thinking about it. Weren't you?"

"I didn't do anything," she repeated softly, averting her gaze. The moon cast enough light to make his eyes shine, and it was a terrifying sight.

Lewis grit his teeth at her stubbornness, digging his fingers in her skin until she reluctantly met his gaze. "You were about to run," he insisted.

Olivia wished she could pause time, come up with a valid argument. But that was what she always tried to do, and it never worked. Maybe it was time for a different approach. "You're right."

Lewis loosened his hold, his eyes holding a hint of confusion. His anger dissipated and left him unsure of himself. A feeling he didn't have often.

"I did think about running," she conceded with a twinge of fear. "But you're right. It would be stupid."

Lewis studied her, the uncertainty fading from his face. "You keep on surprising me, detective."

Olivia didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. As long as it didn't end with her screaming, she didn't care. "Isn't that what you want?"

Lewis licked his lips and released his hold, finished with the conversation. "Are you done?"

She offered a quick nod, relieved he had not blown up. Her features twisted in dread as Lewis pulled her up. She wasn't ready for round two of walking.

He drug her out of the bathroom, back through the dim hallway. Olivia stumbled after him, her weakened body struggling to function. The way back to her room seemed to take hours, each step more painful than the last. When they finally reached the door, she almost wept with relief. As much as she hated that cement room, she was ready to get off her feet.

"Get back on the bed." Lewis shoved her forward, his patience wearing thin.

Olivia's eyes widened at the unexpected push. Her balance wasn't the same anymore, and she had come to rely on Lewis' steadying hand. Her body lurched, unsure of how to move without it. She tried to reach for something. Anything to help her stay standing. But there was nothing and her body refused to cooperate. Her injuries and lack of nutrients made her limbs stiff. Unwilling to function. Olivia let out a pained cry as her legs gave out, expecting to hit the concrete face first.

Rough hands caught her tumble and lifted her onto the bed. "You must love my help as much as you fall."

Olivia bit back a retort, refusing to start an argument. Lewis knew her muscles were weak from being restrained. It wasn't her fault they wouldn't work right.

Lewis reached for her hands and wrapped the rope tightly around them, securing her to the bed with a firm knot. "Go back to sleep and don't get me up again."

She cringed at the bark in his voice and rolled to her side. Maybe she should have wet the bed.

The mattress dipped as Lewis climbed in behind her. Olivia held her breath, bracing for the pain that came with his presence. But Lewis only settled in beside her. No whispers. No touching. No hint of malice. Olivia let out a sigh of relief. He must be tired from working on the house. He wasn't going to hurt her. At least not tonight.

Olivia tried to shut off her mind. Relieve the tension in her muscles. Calm her racing heart. She needed to sleep. But the anxiety from his closeness and the coolness of the house made it difficult. "I'm cold."

"Shut up." Lewis rolled over, fed up with her nighttime demands.

"You have clothes on. I don't," she pointed out softly. "The fire isn't going, and the blanket is gone." Olivia twisted to the side, glancing at his agitated form. "Maybe it fell to floor. Just give me back the blanket, and I'll be quiet."

"Since when do you make demands?"

Her mouth gaped open. She couldn't believe his nerve. It was just a blanket. Olivia turned away from him with a scowl. "You're the one who said you'd keep your baby momma warm," she muttered.

His fingers tangled in her hair and tugged harshly on her scalp, stealing a surprised cry from her throat. "You say one more word, and I will rape you until the sun comes up," he whispered harshly.

Her face twisted in disgust as his hold tightened. So much for not making him angry.

"Now shut up so I can go back to sleep." He released his hold, pushing her away.

She cringed and curled into a ball. It was such a small thing. Olivia wasn't trying to be difficult. She was just cold. But Lewis didn't care. He only wanted her alive; it didn't matter if she was comfortable. His only goal was to keep her breathing.

The cool air started to raise goosebumps on her skin, and Olivia shivered. The house seemed so much colder than it did twenty minutes ago. She swallowed a groan as her teeth started to chatter. She couldn't sleep like this. No one could. But she dared not protest further. Lewis didn't make idle threats.

Out of everything her abduction had changed, she missed the little things the most. Taking a bath. Ordering Chinese food. Going on a walk. Sleeping under the sheets. By herself.

She wondered what her squad was doing. How Nick was holding up. She knew they would all blame themselves for what happened. For not seeing it coming. Olivia knew she did. After all, Lewis had all the signs. Gave all the warnings. He had been clear with his intentions in the squad room. They just hadn't take him seriously. It was a mistake she lived with every day. Sometimes she forgot other people lived with it to. The knowledge this could have been prevented would tear the department apart. They would stop at nothing to find her. Especially her partner. But Lewis was good at evading cops. She had seen it firsthand. His ways were effective.

Olivia curled into herself tighter, her train of thought making her grow colder. Staying alive shouldn't be this hard. It shouldn't require this many compromises. But as Lewis started snoring, Olivia remembered she wasn't the one in charge. She would live by Lewis' rules, or she would die. Those were the only two options. In the beginning, she chose to live. It had seemed important then. But more and more, Olivia couldn't remember why. If living in this hell was the only life she could have, she wasn't sure she wanted it anymore.

* * *

"Here."

Olivia peeled her eyes open as something soft landed on her. Lewis appeared above her, causing her heart to skip a beat. What did he want now?

"Sweatshirt and pants." Lewis announced indifferently. He towered over her with crossed arms, looking like an angry prison guard.

Olivia glanced at the bundle of material, trying to focus. Her head felt cloudy, like fog had drifted into her brain and made everything slow down. She must have fallen asleep at some point, but it clearly hadn't been long enough.

Lewis noted her squinting eyes with a frown. "Maybe if you didn't wake me up in the middle of the night, you wouldn't be so tired."

Olivia shook her head, trying to dislodge her tongue. She wished Lewis would let her wake up before going off on a rant. Her scrambled thoughts couldn't keep up with him this early.

Lewis rolled his eyes, still annoyed about his interrupted sleep. "Sit up."

She let out a yawn and grabbed the rope tying her to the bedframe. She slowly pulled herself up, the soft material falling to the mattress beside her. Olivia's eyes followed the material. A yearning in her face that made Lewis grin.

"You look cold," he noted. "Rough night?"

Her dark eyes snapped to his face. Hatred filled her with a surge so strong, she thought it would surely boil over. Olivia wanted him dead. Unable to hurt anyone else. Unable to hurt her.

"Picked up some extra clothes when I was in town the other day. Thought you might like to wear them." Lewis offered an innocent grin, gesturing to the clothes beside her. "After all, winter is coming. And this house can be pretty chilly."

Olivia looked back to the clothes, tempted to touch the fabric. The cold night air had settled into her skin and had made sleeping almost impossible. She was freezing and desperately needed those clothes. She needed to be warm. But this was Lewis. Nothing was simple with him. Not with the games he liked so much. And based off the twinkle in his eye, she wasn't going to like this one. "What do you want?" she wavered.

Lewis took in a deep breath and smiled. "I love it when you ask me that."

She chanced a look at him, sure she wasn't going to like his answer. She hated playing his games, but doing so kept her alive. So far.

"Give me a kiss."

Her eyes rounded, rebellion rolling through her. "No," she protested with a scrunched face. There was a long list of things Lewis could take from her, but there were very few things she was willing to give him. And a kiss was certainly not one of those things.

Lewis smirked, knowing where this was going. "You can stay naked. I enjoy the view."

Her stomach rolled. She hated being uncovered, exposed to his lustful gaze. But there was no way in hell she was going to kiss him. Not by choice. She would rather be naked. Not even pants was worth getting him riled up.

"Thought you were cold?" Lewis knelt down in front of her, grazing her thigh with his fingers. "It will be October soon, and we're pretty close to Canada. Last night was just the beginning. The temperature will keep dropping. Six months is a long time without clothes."

Olivia looked back down at the material beside her, her defiance battling her pride.

"No? Guess I'll take the clothes back then," he replied nonchalantly, reaching for the material.

"I didn't run last night," she offered meekly, anxious to keep the clothes.

He raised an eyebrow. "It will take more than that to earn a sweatshirt and pants."

A growing sense of dread built as she weighed her options. She was freezing. Lewis was right. It was going to get very cold very fast. She needed those clothes. And there was only one way she would get them. The independent woman in her balked at giving in, insisted there was always another way. But that woman didn't know anything. That woman didn't understand what it took to survive. "Okay."

Lewis grinned at his prisoner's soft voice. "I'm right here. Get to it, sweetheart."

Olivia felt like someone else was in control, leaning her forward until her lips brushed against his. She recoiled as her body remembered his touch. The horrific assaults endured by his lips. His teeth. Things she tried to forget. Panic overwhelmed her, and Olivia jerked away from him. She couldn't do this.

He clicked his tongue and chuckled. "You did better than that when Allie was here."

Olivia shook her head, repulsed at the reminder. "Please," she whispered in a shaky voice. "Don't."

Lewis leaned in closer, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ears. His eyes questioned her resolve, though he said nothing.

Her eyes lowered to the bargaining chip beside her, as if trying to judge their worth. This was Lewis' favorite game. Backing her into a corner and refusing to move until he got what he wanted. This was no different. Olivia let out a defeated sigh and closed her eyes. She could do this.

Her trembling lips brushed against him, her brain fleeing from the sensation. Her mind instead took her to the man she had kissed before Lewis. A man with gentle lips and kind hands. Her mouth remembered Brian, and moved gently against his firm lips. She could almost feel his protective arms around her, his chuckle vibrating against her. But the taste – Brian didn't taste like this.

Olivia's eyes sprang open as everything came flooding back. She let out a groan of protest, trying to push Lewis away with her bound hands. She couldn't handle this. His kiss held a hunger she feared. A power that stole her breath. Olivia couldn't take it anymore. She twisted free of his grip, breaking the horrific kiss she had started.

Lewis smiled and leaned back on his heels. "I suppose that will do for now. You're not bad when you have some motivation," he said softly. He studied her for a few seconds, regarding her with a twinge of skepticism. "If I untie you to get dressed, will you be a good girl?"

Olivia nodded in agreement, not trusting herself to speak. She felt dirty. Used. Cheap. She was giving away more and more of herself to Lewis. He picked her apart like a scab. Poking and prodding until he could rip away another piece. She wasn't sure how much she had left to give.

"One thing." Lewis waited until he had her attention. "I don't have a lot of clothes. So if you fight me one time about taking them off – I will burn them off. And then you will have nothing."

The color drained from her face. Her shoulder still stung from the blowtorch. She couldn't imagine her entire body covered in those burns.

Lewis untied her hands, dropping the rope to the ground. "Get dressed, and then get back on the bed." He threw a mischievous grin at her, pleased at how his morning was going. "I'm gonna find us some breakfast."

Olivia's vision blurred as she reached for the clothes beside her. At least the kiss was over. She hoped the clothes were worth it. She blinked away her tears as she shook the sweatshirt open. Olivia pulled it over her head, relaxing as the clean smell filled her nostrils. New clothes that didn't smell like Lewis. Maybe the kiss had been worth it. She pulled the shirt down, noting how loosely it hung on her frame. The shirt almost swallowed her, but it provided a welcome shield from Lewis' wandering eyes. A way to stay sane.

Her hands reached for the pants, wondering how she was going to put them on. She wasn't about to put weight on her feet, so this was going to be a challenge. Olivia bit her lip and tried to maneuver her feet into the pants. The material caught on her crusted wound, and a grunt of pain passed through her lips.

She painstakingly moved the pants up her legs, careful to avoid further incidents. Olivia twisted on the bed to pull them all the way up, grateful when the ordeal was finally over. The amount of effort required to do anything still surprised her.

"That looked difficult."

Olivia followed the voice and saw an amused Lewis watching from the corner. She was so focused on the clothes, she had forgotten about him.

"If I had known cutting your feet kept you this immobile, I'd have done it a long time ago," he commented mildly.

She turned away from him, choosing to enjoy the cloth against her skin rather than to absorb his mocking words.

Paper rustled in the background as Lewis started shuffling through the supplies. "Guess we're eating pop tarts again."

He tossed a packet of strawberry ones onto the bed, making Olivia jump. Her nose crinkled as she looked at the foil. She could already feel herself getting sick.

"Oh, I forgot about that."

Olivia eyed him from a distance, not liking the sound of his voice.

He winked at her and brought out a light gray bundle. "I have a surprise for you."

She furrowed her brow. That didn't sound good.

A wide smile stretched his face as he moved towards her. He looked giddy. Like a child on Christmas morning. He was going to enjoy this.

Olivia had no idea what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn't the onesie he laid in front of her. Her eyes grew as she processed the words on it.

"Isn't it perfect?" Lewis whispered. "I knew we had to have it."

Olivia set her jaw, turning off the tears before they filled her eyes. Daddy's Little Helper. It was the most appalling thing she had ever seen. Her eyes scanned the small outfit, noting the hardware tools scattered across it. Some people might find it cute. Funny even. But not her. Not like this.

"Wasn't sure what size to get, so I asked the cashier. She said this one should work."

Her eyes snapped to his face. "Wait, you did what?"

Lewis shrugged. "I don't know what 3M or 2T means. It's not like I've been around a lot of babies."

"What did you tell her?" her voice trembled.

He frowned, clearly expecting her focus to be on the onesie. "What do you care?"

"What did you say to the cashier?" she repeated, the panic evident in her eyes.

Lewis set his jaw and clenched his fist. "I told her my wife was pregnant and I do odd jobs around the house. I wanted to get the outfit as an inside joke, but I didn't know what size to get." Lewis wrinkled his forehead at her wounded expression. "What?"

Olivia stared at the baby outfit, her horror growing by the second. Lewis had told someone about the baby.

"Wait." Lewis laughed, a heartless chuckle that set her teeth on edge. His laugh was like sandpaper. Rough. Grating. "You're worried your friends will find out you're pregnant."

Her heart sunk. They weren't supposed to find out. No one was ever supposed to know. She was going to get away from Lewis and terminate the pregnancy before anyone found out. It would be her secret. Hers alone. No one was supposed to know.

"Isn't it ironic?" His fingers grazed her cheek. "These past few days, you've been hoping someone at the store recognized me. That our faces are plastered all over the news. You only needed one person to call it in. Help would be on the way, right?" Lewis ran his fingers through her hair, smiling at his broken victim. "But now? Now you're hoping that old woman didn't know me. Hoping she didn't turn on the six o'clock news that night and see my face."

She refused to comment, her heart shattering so hard she could almost hear it break. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

"If she did call it in, your friends know about the baby by now." Lewis cradled her cheek with a gentle smile. "Can you picture their face when they find out? Maybe your partner can see it happening. You tied to a bed, screaming as I force myself inside – "

"Stop," Olivia ground out. "Please, just stop."

Lewis nodded slowly, touching his tongue to his lips. "They will never understand what happened to you. How different you are. Maybe you don't even realize it yourself."

Olivia swallowed hard. Her eyes fell back to the onesie laid in front of her, wishing she could throw that thing in the fire pit. Watch it burn to ashes. Anything to stop this conversation.

He grinned, studying her with an element of pride. "Do you realize you've been sitting on this bed for a solid five minutes? No cuffs, no rope. I don't even have the gun on me. But you just sat there, being a good girl."

Olivia looked at him with disdain, masking the shame burning inside her. "You said you would kidnap little girls if I tried to run."

"And you know I would," he confirmed. "But we both know that's not why you're still here. You're different. Your friends will never understand that. Not like I do. I'm all you have now. Me and this baby."

"You're wrong," Olivia said through gritted teeth. His speech filled her with more emotions than she could count. But only one of them mattered. She swam through her sea of emotions until she found it, holding onto it with everything she had. Lewis wasn't going to destroy her.

"Am I?" Lewis titled his head with a knowing grin. "Then why are you crying?"

Olivia clenched her jaw and refused to answer him. Lewis couldn't be right. Not about this. She stayed on the bed because people would die if she didn't. Children would be tortured. Families torn apart. He told her to settle down and warned her what would happen if she didn't. Olivia was fighting to stay alive – to keep others alive. There was no other reason she hadn't made a run for it. Nothing else keeping her here. She wasn't staying because Lewis got in her head. Olivia was too strong. She would never let that happen.

Lewis lifted the onesie and tossed it back in the corner. "This baby will destroy you in every way that I can't. It will suck you dry until there is nothing left to take. And then? And then the fierce Detective Benson will die knowing a rapist has her baby. "

No. No, she wasn't having the baby. Lewis wasn't raising the baby. There would be no baby. Even as the denial churned in her head, Olivia realized she had to face the music. By her calculations, she was close to her second trimester. She might even be in her second trimester. Maybe someone did see Lewis at the store and report it. Maybe her squad knew about the pregnancy and had an idea of where she was. But after four months, Olivia knew the odds of being found were slim. For now, Lewis controlled every aspect of her life.

He wanted to break her, and the pregnancy was part of that. Lewis made that clear from the beginning. But over the past month, Lewis had changed. She had no idea why or how, but he cared about this baby. He gave her food more often, made sure she drank water. Anything she needed to keep the baby healthy.

Olivia had been so focused on hating the baby she hadn't paid attention. She had been thinking like a victim instead of a cop. That was going to stop. If she was carrying the only thing Lewis cared about, she had leverage. She had a chance. Olivia just had to figure out what do with it.


	11. Chapter 11

Here we go again! This chapter starts off a little lighter and hopefully answers some of your questions...it might also bring some new questions.

Thank you all for your kind and generous words. I really appreciate it! Please keep the feedback coming. Disclaimer, this chapter does contain rape.

* * *

"Arms behind your back."

Olivia winced at the firm tug on her arms. At least the sweatshirt cushioned the bite of the handcuffs. Her wrists seemed to scar more each day, the mass of red skin breaking open at the slightest abrasion.

Lewis tightened the cuffs around her hands, effectively restraining her. "There you go, sweetheart. Comfy?"

His lips brushed her neck, her hair barely blocking the sensation. Olivia's hands clenched as she fought a more visible reaction. The victim she had become quaked at his touch. The invasion that followed his lips. But she couldn't be that person anymore. Not if she was going to get out of here. And she had to get out of here.

Olivia took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, forcing her muscles to relax. She wouldn't let Lewis rile her today. She had to keep her head low. She had to focus.

His lips moved to her ear and teasingly nibbled at her lobe. "You're quiet today. Don't feel like playing?"

Olivia pursed her lips together and set a pointed stare out the window. It was going to be a long day.

"Fine. We'll play later. I do need to get the rest of this done." Lewis released his hold and moved away from her.

Her tension faded, and she took the opportunity to look around the living room, noting the changes Lewis had made the day before. The room was no longer covered in dust. Most of the windows had been boarded up, and there was a futon in the middle of the floor. "What else are you doing?"

"Have to fix the window frames and the door." Lewis frowned as he squatted in front of the supplies. "Boarding up the windows took longer than I expected."

Olivia raised an eyebrow as she took in the two open windows in front of her, the sunlight streaming into the light brown room. "I think you missed one or two."

Lewis rolled his eyes. "Look who's feeling witty this morning."

Olivia shook her head. She wasn't feeling like anything this morning. She wanted to stay in bed, catch up on some much needed rest. Instead, she was tied to a hard chair watching Lewis tinker around the house. She had tried talking him out of it, but the harder she tried, the more adamant he became. He wanted her to stay with him. It was ridiculous.

Olivia wasn't happy about it. They were only moving into the living room, but her injuries made going anywhere a trying experience.

"I ran out of plywood to cover the windows. But that's okay. We probably need a couple to stay open for lighting. We'll just seal them shut instead," he said decisively.

Olivia fought the desolation rising inside her. Crawling out a window had never been part of her escape plan. Even still, the measures Lewis took against her escape were daunting at best.

"What are you doing to the door?"

Lewis grabbed the tube of caulk and twisted off the lid. "Need to switch out the deadbolt."

Olivia glanced to the front door, puzzled at his response. "What's wrong with it?"

"Other than there's no key?" Lewis flicked his pocket knife open and punctured a hole in the tip of the caulking tube.

"Why do we need a key?" Olivia couldn't follow his logic. This house was well hidden and had long since been abandoned. There wouldn't be any strangers knocking on the door. And if the NYPD found them, a deadbolt wouldn't offer any protection.

"We don't need a key. I need a key," he corrected firmly. "I'm going to take that old lock out and put a new one in. But I'm going to flip it around so you need a key to open the door from the inside."

Olivia's mouth went dry. "What?"

Lewis lifted his head, a partial smile showing his amusement. "You look worried, princess."

She tilted her chin up, her mind racing with conflicting thoughts. "That's just a lot of work for you."

"Don't worry about that." He laughed. "It's easier than running after you. Though you aren't running much these days."

She couldn't argue with him on that. It had taken a fair amount of effort to walk from the kitchen to the living room. At least her feet hadn't bled this time. Walking still took all of her concentration, but the more her wounds stayed closed, the lower her chance of infection. The idea of having infected feet with only Lewis to clean her wounds…Olivia shivered. She couldn't do that.

Lewis began squeezing the caulk into the window frame, taking his time to apply an even coating. "It rained the other day and there were puddles everywhere. Stupid house is so old even the windows don't work right."

"We could always move to a different house," Olivia suggested half-heartedly. She would prefer one with heat and running water. One without a cement room for Lewis to hold her in.

"I'm always up for a challenge." He pulled away the caulking tube and ran his finger along the window to even it out. "Gives us something to do. Unless you have something better in mind."

Olivia curled her lip as he winked at her. She could care less what he did with his time, as long his hobbies kept his hands off her. She watched him take out a rag and pour water on it. Her eyebrows went up as he used the damp rag to smooth out the caulk. "You seem pretty good at this."

"My daddy liked to fix up the house. He was good with his hands." Lewis folded the rag and reached for the caulk again. "I learned a few things from him."

From the stories he told, Lewis had picked up more than a few things. Disgust swarmed her belly, but Olivia forced herself not to focus on it. She had to change her approach if she was ever getting away from him. "I'm sure your mom appreciated that."

Lewis focused on a crack at the bottom of the window frame, squatting down for a better angle. "She was always coming up with those honey to do lists. Drove daddy crazy, but he did them anyway."

"Sounds like he really cared about her." Olivia watched him turn to the splintering cracks coming from the window. "Are you going to fill all of those?"

Lewis ignored her question, methodically filling each crack one at a time. Reluctantly, she had to admit his focus was impressive. She didn't know why it surprised her. That was how Lewis worked. "That is going to take a long time."

"Why is it some days you won't say two words, and then other days you won't shut up?" Lewis huffed as he pushed himself off the floor.

"You're the one who wanted me out here. What was it you said? We need more bonding time?" Olivia rolled her eyes. "Like we don't have enough of that."

Lewis raised an eyebrow at her attitude. "Well sweetheart, would you rather us bond in bed?"

She set her lips in a thin line and fixed him with a stony glare. His comment didn't warrant a response.

He turned his back to her, going back to working on the window. "Didn't think so."

A sharp pain spread through her back, and Olivia winced. The cuts on her back were aggravating. She leaned forward to ease the chair's pressure off her skin, feeling the sting fade. "So what else are you doing to the house?"

Lewis studied the window frame, barely processing her question. "Need to look at the roof. With how many puddles we had, there's bound to be some leaks in it somewhere."

Olivia's mouth dropped open. "You're going on the roof?"

He tilted his head and observed her furrowed brow. "Worried about me, sweetheart?"

Lewis wasn't her first concern, but he was one she had to consider. Unfortunately. "It's like you said," she started softly. "You're the only person with me. If anything happened to you, me and the baby would be in trouble." She smiled weakly, barely able to force the words out of her mouth.

Lewis watched her curiously for a minute before replying. "Been a long time since I saw you smile."

"I feel better today," Olivia offered meekly. "Your mom's sandwich does the trick. It settled my stomach."

"Good."

Olivia shivered at the sweet smile he sent her. She had to remain calm. Focused. "Your mom teach you any other tricks?"

He shrugged and cleaned off some extra caulk. "She was always in the kitchen finding new recipes. Momma had a knack for making odd things that tasted pretty good."

She observed his subdued nature and let a breath she didn't know she was holding. "What did she look like?"

Lewis offered a half smiled, tinkering with the tools in his hand. "She was beautiful. Smiled all the time. It made her eyes sparkle. And she had short, wavy hair. Momma hated it." Lewis laughed. "She called it her afro. Daddy teased her about it all the time. Said a bird could get lost in there and no one would know."

Olivia's lips parted at the homey picture he painted. Lewis preferred the stories of him and his dad. The rough, manly figure he idolized. It had simply never occurred to her that Lewis had grown up like a normal kid.

He went back to caulking the remaining cracks, giving a confused Olivia time to gather her thoughts. She thought of the stark difference in the stories and realized what happened. There were few things that could change a loving husband into a drunk rapist. "How old were you when she died?"

Lewis froze and gave her a startled glance.

Olivia almost laughed at the unguarded panic in his eyes. "Come on, Lewis. I'm a detective."

He swallowed and turned his back to her. This wasn't something he talked about often. And he had little desire to confide in his captive.

"When we first met, you said your family was military. Was it your mom? Did she pass away overseas?" She bit her lip as he shook his head briefly. "No? Was it your dad then? Did he – "

"Daddy never laid a hand on her!" Lewis turned towards her with fury in his eyes. "He loved Momma."

Her heart pounded at his anger. She should have known better than to tarnish his father. "Of course he did," Olivia agreed quickly with a smile. "I was just trying to figure it out. I mean, if we really are having this baby – I should learn about your side of the family. If it was a health problem, the baby could have it."

His eyes darkened and lowered to her middle. "It wasn't."

"Then what happened?" Her anxious eyes followed his movement, desperate for answers. She needed to know what changed his normal childhood into one of brutality. "I've read your case file. I saw the crime scene photos. I've watched you torment women. Heard their screams. Lewis, I already know your darkest secrets. Just tell me. What happened to your mother?" she urged quietly.

"It was an accident," he hissed. "Okay?"

"An accident?" Her voice rose, her confusion mounting by the minute. "That's it?"

Lewis dropped the caulking tube. "I caused it. All right? Are you done with the twenty questions now?"

Olivia jumped as he kicked the wall. She opened her mouth to argue with him, but his rant cut her off.

"I dropped my ball. A stupid, god-damned ball. Momma unbuckled to grab it. Car rammed us from behind. She was dead before the ambulance got there."

Olivia recapped his story in her head, trying not miss anything. "You were in the car?"

"We were all in the car." He shook his head and crossed his arms. "It happened so fast. One minute, Daddy was singing with the radio. The next, Momma was laying on the hood. Surrounded by broken glass."

Olivia wracked her brain for a way to connect with him. This was a rare side of Lewis, and he had just handed her an invaluable piece of information. "Accidents happen. You couldn't have known. You were just a little boy."

Lewis rolled his eyes. "You playing that empathy card now, detective?"

A flicker of uncertainty passed over his face, and Olivia eyed him with hesitation. She didn't like this. As much as she wanted answers, she wasn't prepared for the person she saw before her. Lewis was a monster. He always would be. His sadistic nature didn't allow for anything else. But in that moment – the monster wasn't standing before her. Rather, a haunted little boy was elbowing his way out. Someone Olivia had no idea what to do with.

"I need a hammer," Lewis muttered as he headed to the kitchen. "And the duct tape."

She watched his retreating back with bewilderment. What was she supposed to with this?

* * *

"That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard." Brian turned to Amanda with a scowl. "This is what you've been wasting your time on?"

"Take it easy, Cassidy." Nick interjected. "We're doing everything we can."

"Yeah?" Brian rounded back at him. "Have you thought about this at all? Even if this idea worked, how long would it take? Huh?"

Detective Stiles stepped between the two feuding men with a sigh. "This isn't getting us anywhere."

"Neither is combing acres of empty woods," Brian retorted.

"Brian," Amanda rebuked softly. "We're trying."

"Oh, as long as you're trying…never mind. I'm sure that's good enough for Liv. She's only fighting for her life. But sure, yeah, as long you're trying." Brian's face turned red with anger.

Detective Stiles closed his eyes and counted to three. "Why don't we all sit down."

"How much land is that to cover anyway?" Brian continued with frown. "Say if he's two to three hours away from this store you're talking about – how much land is there to comb?" He fixed each person with a steely glare.

"It is a lot of ground to cover," Detective Stiles admitted. "But it's a start."

"How much?" Brian repeated.

"We're estimating they're within 120 miles of the store. So a 120 mile radius leaves us with about 76,000 acres." Amanda fell back into her chair.

Brian's eyes rounded. "You can't be serious. This is your plan?"

"Feel free to come up with a better one, lover boy," Nick snapped.

Detective Stiles leaned against the desk, stifling a yawn. "Maybe we should call it a night. Get some rest and start fresh in the morning."

"I just got here," Brian argued. He had spent the entire morning at IAB signing papers with Tucker and Cragen doing their due diligence. Reminding him to act professional while working this case. Screw that.

Detective Stiles looked heavenward in an attempt to gather his patience. "I know Detective Benson means a lot to you. To all of you." He looked down and fixed a pointed look Cassidy's direction. "But you are no good to her when it takes five cups of coffee just to keep you upright. Go to the hotel. Crash."

Nick stood up shaking his head. "No, we're fine."

"No, you're not," Detective Stiles pointed out. "As much as it sucks, we know Lewis is keeping her alive for the baby. We have at least five months before he kills her. Lewis knows how to hide. We aren't finding them tonight. Or tomorrow. That's just where we are. So get some sleep. I know I am." He tossed his empty coffee cup in the trash. "I'll see you in the morning."

The three detectives watched him head out the door, all too tired to protest.

"Who put him in charge?" Cassidy asked with disdain.

"Not our jurisdiction." Amanda shrugged. "Not our call."

Nick put his head in his hands, the weight of his missing partner becoming too heavy for him to carry. "How was the captain?" he asked, needing to concentrate on something else.

Brian thought back to that morning. The weary and quiet captain urging him to make quick work of this new assignment. Cragen was like a father to Liv. Their relationship had blossomed through the years. The guilt in Cragen's eyes had been more than even Brian could process. The captain had let Lewis go twice. Both times, people he cared about were hurt. The lines on his face showed how little sleep Cragen was getting. Then again, no one was sleeping. Liv wasn't. Why should they?

"He was busy." Brian settled for the simplest answer.

Nick nodded, his eyes glazing over.

"He is reaching mandatory retirement soon," Amanda noted out loud.

Both men looked at her, startled at this news. The idea of someone else taking over SVU was unthinkable on a normal day. But while Liv was missing?

Amanda took in their mild panic and held her hands up. "It's not that soon," she defended.

Quiet settled in around them as each detective swam through their thoughts. Each person knew sleep was the wisest decision, but no one was willing to voice it.

Brian took in the faded green police station with a detached expression, pausing when he saw the board across the room. "What's that about?"

"Missing girl," Nick answered with defeated sigh. "We think Lewis took her when he picked up the supplies."

Brian's eyes darted between the two broken detectives. His mind struggled with what was left unsaid. "Not again. Liv couldn't – not again…" his voice trailed off at the horror of it. Liv fought harder for victims than she fought for herself. A fact Lewis had figured out a long time ago. "How many would that make?"

"Five." Amanda clenched her jaw. "Should have just shot the bastard in court."

Brian sighed and closed his eyes. "We have to find her. Combing the woods won't work. It's too large a search area."

"If you have any ideas in that thick head of yours, feel free to share."

Brian glared at Nick in response. If he made it through this without punching Nick through the wall, it would be a miracle. Brian pushed aside his anger and tried to think. Liv was dealing with a sadistic psychopath. He could handle her partner.

Brian studied the map in front of them, trying to piece the puzzle together. "This whole theory of yours is based on them staying in some abandoned house, right?"

"Everything he bought fits that idea." Amanda gestured to the print out pinned beside the map. "The receipts are over there."

He stood to his feet and glanced through the list. "Nails? Lewis bought nails?" The color drained from his face, every other item blurring away.

"It's probably for the house," Amanda reasoned.

Brian shook the thought from his head, the image of Lewis torturing his girlfriend with nails too much to handle. "He bought a lot of food. How long can it last? A few weeks? A month?"

"Depends what else they had on hand," Nick answered.

"They will need more eventually. So instead of spending our time chasing a ghost, how about we flood all the grocery stores and hardware stores within the search area? It will increase the chances of Lewis being seen when he leaves the house. The supplies he bought won't last forever," Brian reasoned.

Amanda's eyes narrowed as she thought through his idea. It couldn't be that simple. "I don't think we have the man power to flood every single store for an indefinite amount of time."

"Then we send pictures. Speak with the locals. Make them understand this is not a nice guy, and we need their help. Put out a reward. People will do anything for money." Brian nodded his head and pursed his lips. "That is our best shot at finding Liv."

Nick shook his head slowly. "I don't know, man."

"Amanda's right. We don't have the man power to find her with this much ground to cover. So we start now, handing out flyers. Lewis will have to leave for supplies again at some point. And when he does, every employee at every grocery store will know his face. They'll call it in and we can follow him to Liv." Brian glances back at the map and frowned. "The stores aren't marked on here?"

"We didn't see the point," Nick replied lamely. Cassidy's idea sounded far more reasonable than theirs. He didn't understand why no one had thought of it. Maybe Detective Stiles was right. Fresh eyes helped. Maybe sleep would help the rest of them think clearer.

"I'm calling the Captain. See what he wants to do about the reward." Amanda grabbed her phone.

"No," Nick objected. "Stiles was right. We're exhausted. Lewis is running a marathon, and we keep acting like this is a 100 yard dash. We have to take a break. Lewis will make a mistake at some point, but we have to be alert enough to find it. Come on," he urged. "Let's go back to the hotel and crash. We'll be back bright and early. Sleep deprivation isn't helping Liv."

Brian didn't want to go. There was far too much work to do. He could stay to map out the stores, print off the fliers, negotiate the reward amount. But he knew in his heart Nick was right. Liv needed them at their best. And that meant getting some sleep.

"Okay," he agreed reluctantly.

Amanda stood to her feet and took a sip of coffee. "You don't have to tell me twice. I'll drive."

Brian turned to her with an apprehensive look. "Nah, that's okay. I drove."

"I'm with him," Nick added quickly. "Someone has to keep him in line."

Amanda shrugged and grabbed her coat. "Whatever."

When she was safely out the door, Brian glanced at Nick. "Her driving any better?"

"No." Nick shook his head with a wince.

Brian shrugged and reached for his keys. "At least she hasn't killed you yet."

"Yeah it's that 'yet' part that has me worried," Nick commented as they walked towards the exit.

Brian chuckled and pushed the door open. "Cheer up. You can ride with me when we check out the stores tomorrow."

"Can't wait," Nick commented dryly.

* * *

"That was pretty successful." Lewis walked back into the living room with a satisfied smile. "The door is fixed, the key is hidden, and the windows are sealed shut. Pretty much all we can do for now."

Olivia barely registered his presence. The sun was setting over the trees, turning the sky an orange hue with a tint of purple. She had forgotten how beautiful that scene could be. The moon peeking through the trees, the nighttime sounds starting to set in. A soft smile tugged at her lips. She liked the window.

Lewis finished putting the supplies away and headed towards Olivia, continuing his recap of the day. As if she hadn't been present for each tedious part. "Even patched up the roof and made it down without a scratch. Nothing to it."

Olivia winced as he removed the handcuffs, her wounded shoulder screaming at the strain. The skin was finally starting to close, but she needed some ointment to put on it. The skin was too dry and would crack if she wasn't careful. The scab tearing open would be far worse than blisters breaking apart. Olivia shuddered as the memories of her burned thigh bombarded her mind. The aftereffects of the blowtorch were far more daunting than she initally thought. Not that being burned by one had ever occurred to her before Lewis showed up.

"Bathroom?"

She nodded her answer, wincing as Lewis pulled her up. Pain had become her constant companion in the time spent with him. The intensity fluctuated, but was never far away. Reminding her to think before she moved. Before she spoke. Before she could do anything to anger Lewis.

They took their routine trip to the bathroom, the walkway blessedly shorter this time. Olivia didn't fight Lewis as he cleaned her, or when he pulled her back up. Her energy had been depleted, and her mind still spun in circles about his mother's death. She knew Lewis more than she knew herself some days. He still hadn't told her everything, but what she did know…it threw her more than she expected.

Lewis led her back to the bedroom, shoving her towards the bed. "Hungry?"

Her stomach rebelled at the thought of food. The pop tart she had choked down for breakfast and lunch had somehow stayed down. She doubted it would stay that way if she ate anything else. "Water?" she asked meekly, sitting gingerly on the mattress.

He walked to the corner and picked up a new water bottle. "I can do that."

She accepted the bottle he handed her, pathetically relieved Lewis was letting her drink it without his help. After her mouth was sufficiently satisfied, she screwed the lid back on and handed it to Lewis.

He tossed the bottle behind him, making Olivia jump at the noise. Her eyes darted back to him, startled at the unbridled lust she found there. Her lips parted, her brow beginning to sweat. "Lewis, please."

"What's your excuse this time?" He walked towards her with darkness in his eyes. "You've been to the bathroom. You're not hungry. You had water. There's nothing left, baby."

Olivia opened her mouth to reason with him, but the absurdity of talking Lewis out of rape made her stop. She couldn't prevent this. That was the very definition of rape. The definition of her new life.

"Take the clothes off." Lewis moved his eyes down her body. A smirk played on his lips, only one thing on his mind.

A new wave of panic threatened to overwhelm her. She wasn't prepared for this. A part of her had hoped Lewis would be just as tired tonight as he had been the night before. Too tired to cause any harm. As she contemplated the growing horror rising within her, Olivia realized how misplaced that hope had been. She caught herself shaking her head, not sure of when she started.

Lewis glanced back at her face, the smirk fading. "Don't tell me no."

His warning tone set her teeth on edge. His eyes repeated the warning he had issued earlier. The condition of wearing clothes. The one rule he had set. Olivia's eyes closed, wetness seeping through her eyelashes. She didn't want to be like this. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to fight, to prove she hadn't been beaten into submission. But time had taught her that wasn't always the case. Sometimes, it required more strength to give in. To do what he wanted. As much as she wanted to fight for her dignity, her pride – her body desperately needed to heal. And healing only happened when Lewis was happy.

Olivia forced herself off the bed, holding on to the wall for stability. Her body moved on its own, her brain having already fled the room. Her fingers curled around the soft gray material and pulled it over her head. A distant part of her was aware of her body's protest, but that didn't matter. Not right now.

Lewis crossed his arms, feeling proud of himself. He watched his unrestrained captive drop her clothes to the floor and grinned. His clothes joined the pile a moment later as he stepped into Olivia, feeling her flinch at the contact.

Breathe. That's all she had to do. That's all Lewis would make her do this time. Breathe in. Breathe out. At least, that's what she hoped.

Olivia winced as his arm closed around her, his lips finding a spot on her neck. She could do this. She could breathe.

Lewis lowered her slowly to the mattress, his lips moving down her body. "Are you going to be a good girl for me?"

She nodded woodenly, letting him maneuver her body as he wanted. Olivia closed her eyes, traveling to a different world. She picked a different place each time. A coffee shop sounded nice tonight. Her hands around a hot mug of coffee. The heater going on full blast. The happy chatter of people around her.

Lewis pried her legs open and settled on top of her, breaking Olivia's train of thought.

Breathe. That was her only job. Lie still and breathe. A sharp pain between her legs brought a grimace, and Olivia fled back to that coffee shop. One with chalkboards on the walls. The daily specials written in green and white. Muffled words floated around her, but Olivia chose not to listen to them. She focused on the coffee mug instead. It was warm. Inviting. Safe.

One day, she would feel those things again. One day, she would get out. And one day, she would be safe again.

As Lewis moved violently inside her, Olivia focused on that thought. She was going to make it. She had to.


	12. Chapter 12

I am so sorry that it has been so long since the last update. This was a difficult chapter to write, and it will be a difficult one to read. I battled about whether it should be softer or harder, but in the end - if Lewis showed a vulnerable side, he would immediately come down hard to make up for it.

Hopefully, the chapter will be worth the wait. As always, feedback is appreciated.

* * *

She was warm. And comfortable. Finally. If only she could stay in this position. Sleep the world away. Maybe then, it wouldn't be so bad. Olivia felt a pull on her hair and grunted in response. She wasn't ready to face the day. A familiar chuckle reached her ears, and a shiver ran through her.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." Lewis announced cheerfully. "Time to get up."

Olivia peeled her eyes open and looked around the room, trying to gather her senses. They returned to her slowly, like they were at the edge of a rope she had to pull towards her. Olivia's eyes darted down to the black material her head rested on. Her brow furrowed. What was that?

"Sleep well? Certainly sounded like it," Lewis commented as he combed his fingers through her hair, Olivia's head tucked under his chin.

Her eyes widened in alarm as she realized her position. "No," she whispered. Olivia tried to roll away from him and froze at the unexpected jolt of pain between her legs.

"Easy there, baby. Where are you going?" He tightened his grip, holding her firmly in place.

Olivia's face twisted in disgust as she felt his laughter. The rest of her senses snapped in place, and she was suddenly much too aware of her surroundings. They were lying on the mattress, the blanket tucked around the both of them. Her head rested on his chest, her vision focusing enough to identify the black material as his t-shirt. Panic started to suffocate her as she realized her body curved around his. Olivia's head swam as she renewed her attempts to roll away, feeling something similar to claustrophobia. But her hands were cuffed behind her back, and no matter how hard she tried…she simply had no leverage in this position. The harder she tried to get off him, the more Lewis tightened his arm, keeping her close to him.

"What a night, right?"

A whimper escaped her lips. Olivia had blocked most of it out, but what she did remember made her skin crawl. His hands explored her body, the calluses from his hands catching on her scabs. His hot breath puffed in her ear, causing a wave of goosebumps down her neck. His pretended words of gentleness floated around her while he painfully forced himself inside her. Over and over and over.

Her body ached with a soreness she could never describe. The assault had lasted for hours. Even then, it had taken her at least ten minutes to get dressed. Her body was clumsy. Tired. Hurt. And far before she was ready, Olivia had felt the familiar coolness of metal circle her wrists, and a harsh hand pulling her back to bed.

She laid awake for a long time, her tears and heartache growing with each breath she took. It was a restless night, but she had apparently fallen asleep a few hours ago. Though how she ended up half on top of him was a question she had no desire to answer. "I need to use the bathroom."

"Of course you do," Lewis commented as he stretched. "Beginning to think I should just lock you in there as much as you have to go."

Feeling Lewis lift his arm, Olivia scrambled for the opportunity to move. She had to get away from him, no matter how much it hurt. She'd endure nearly anything to create distance between them.

He grinned as she maneuvered to the edge of the bed. "That's the thanks I get for keeping you all toasty last night?"

She frowned and looked away. Her cheeks turned red, made darker by Lewis' laughter.

"Up we go then." Lewis pushed himself off the bed, his face twisting as he did so. "I'm gonna have to take it easy today. My back is killing me."

Olivia observed him warily from the bed. His back had only bothered him a handful of times in their months together. His nameless work injury had left its mark, flaring occasionally. It either made him very cranky or very laid back. Hopefully, today would be the latter.

"Come on. Up you go." Lewis motioned for him to join her as he stifled a yawn.

She bit her lip and rolled her legs off the bed. Maybe she could get up on her own. Olivia pushed against the mattress with her cuffed hands, trying to gain leverage to sit up. She managed a few inches before her hands slipped against the material. She groaned in frustration as she fell backwards.

"Need some help?"

She hated him. With every cell in her body, she hated him. The air he breathed. The noises he made. The mocking jabs he threw at her. But as he was so eager to remind her, Lewis was all she had at the moment. Like it or not, she couldn't get up by herself. And wetting the only clothes she had didn't sound appealing. "Yes," Olivia gritted out.

Lewis moved towards her, a smirk growing on his lips.

Olivia yelped as he rolled her over, a stabbing pain moving through her body. She twisted her head to the side, struggling to breathe.

Lewis uncuffed her left wrist and kept a tight hold on her right. "Get up."

Olivia pushed off the bed with her one hand, closing her eyes against the spinning room. But Lewis gave her no time to adjust, spinning her around and locking her hands in front. "Move."

She lurched as Lewis propelled her forward, ignoring her hiss of pain.

"Found the apples last night. Figured we could eat some for breakfast. How does that sound? Pretty sure there's a box of granola somewhere around here too," Lewis suggested.

They passed into the kitchen, and her nose crinkled as she spied the food in question. As unappealing as they looked, she was glad pop tarts weren't on the menu. Her stomach had endured enough of those. When she got out of here, she wanted a hot meal. Olivia didn't even care what it was at this point. A burger, Chinese food, a steak. It didn't matter. She just wanted something hot.

"You go on to the bathroom," Lewis instructed, his hand falling from her back. "I'll start cutting up the apples."

Olivia turned to face him, not comprehending his words. "What?"

"My back hurts. The last thing I need to do is haul you around the house. You said you have to go. So go," Lewis waved at her impatiently as he reached for his pocketknife.

"By myself?" Olivia asked incredulously.

Lewis rolled his eyes and opened the bag of apples. "The boogie man won't get you."

"No, no – I know. It's just…" her voice trailed off. There was an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, one she couldn't identify.

He bit back a laugh and pulled out an apple. "There's nothing for you to get into. The tools are put away. The door is locked, the windows are sealed. And I have the gun."

Olivia's face fell as Lewis gestured to the black firearm on the counter. Her cloudy mind couldn't keep up with where he kept it.

"I told you – I'm not babysitting you every second. If you want to do something stupid, that's on you. Just remember," his tone turned harsh. "I can pick up another Allison whenever I want. So you should behave."

Olivia's eyes darted around the room, unsure of what to do.

Lewis sneered at her uncertainty. "Don't just stand there. Go," he insisted with annoyance. "And hurry up."

Olivia gave him one more look, as if checking to see that he was really serious. At his scowl, she turned around and headed for the bathroom. Her scratched feet drug the floor, her muscles far too rigid to be much use. She stumbled through the living room, catching a glimpse of the dead bolted door. Her heart grew heavy at the sight. No wonder Lewis wanted to stay here. He was building it into a fortress.

She took another step forward and felt her knees buckle. Olivia fell towards the wall with a cry, terrified Lewis would burst into the room in anger. Her heart pounded as she waited for his fingers to tangle in her hair. Or his hand slapping her face. At the least, the sound of his boots angrily thumping into the room. But she only heard the steady chop of apples. Her heart rate slowly returned to normal as her confusion mounted. She brought her cuffed hands up to her forehead and tried to rub the tension away. What was happening? What was Lewis doing?

Her mind scanned through the past few days, struggling to process everything that had transpired. After a few seconds, her head dropped. Of course. How had she not see it? Lewis was smart. Effective. Manipulative. He had spent every day making her rely on him. He fed her, bathed her, and always keep her under his thumb. Even now as she took her first trip to the bathroom alone, she felt unsteady and unsure of herself. As much as she fought him…as much as she tried to block his mental games…she hadn't been all that successful. He had conditioned her.

Olivia swiped away a stray tear and cursed the hormones making her a walking tear duct. This was getting her nowhere. If Lewis was giving her the small freedom of going to the bathroom, she would use it. Olivia forced herself to start walking again, holding the wall for stability. Lewis wouldn't be happy if he found her standing still.

She slowly made it to the bathroom, feeling something akin to relief. Being alone had never felt so good. A part of her wanted to stay in there forever. Free from Lewis' taunts. His hands. His games. But Lewis would get upset, and she didn't need that. So she did her business and headed back the way she came, scavenging her soul for every ounce of self-control she possessed. It would take all of it to keep walking back to Lewis.

She made it halfway through the living room before her muscles gave out again, sending her crashing to the floor with a self-loathing growl.

"Struggling?"

Her eyes closed at the amusement in his voice. Of course he was watching her. Lewis wasn't dumb enough to give her free reign of the house without staying close behind.

Olivia pushed herself to a standing position, swallowing the scream in her throat. Her feet had broken open again.

"That looks painful." Lewis stood in the kitchen doorway with his arms crossed, observing her stilted movements with an innocent smile.

She rolled her eyes at his mock sympathy. He didn't care. No, she reconsidered. That wasn't true. He did care. She was his own twisted entertainment system, and she was sick of it. Olivia gritted her teeth and determined not to give him anymore satisfaction. She lifted her foot and attempted to step forward, but her body had done all it was going to do. It had gone on strike and was unwilling to function. She fell to her knees, barely stifling the scream in her throat, humiliation burning her from the inside out.

Lewis chuckled and walked towards her. "If only your friends could see you now." His hands lifted her on to the futon, pulling her into a sitting position. "Let me look at your feet."

Olivia's eyes rounded, and she shook her head anxiously. "They're fine."

Lewis gave her a scolding look, as if he were dealing with a rambunctious toddler. "I'll be the judge of that."

Olivia bit her lip as he lifted her feet, terror coursing through her veins. His touch sent shockwaves through her skin, pulling a groan from her lips.

"They look a little rough." Lewis frowned at the angry red marks on her feet. "I think there's another bottle of alcohol in the kitchen. We should clean them again."

"They're not that bad," Olivia countered with worried eyes. "Really, they don't even hurt that much."

"Yeah? Is that right?" he asked with a knowing grin, digging his finger into one of the opened wounds.

Olivia cried out and jerked her foot away from him.

"They seem a bit tender to me," he noted with a wink.

She let out a shaky breath, trying not to fall apart. The agony of alcohol on open wounds wasn't something she wanted to repeat. Olivia jumped as she felt his hand brush across her cheek. Her eyes shined with tears, the wetness puddling until it threatened to spill down her cheeks. Too much was happening. She didn't know how to make sense of it.

"Hey," Lewis whispered as he cupped her cheek. "It's not that bad."

Olivia's face twisted as she pulled away from him. She didn't want his comfort.

Lewis grinned at her growing defiance. Just when he thought he had successfully beaten her down, Olivia's resilience came sputtering back up. His hand dropped to play with the ends of her hair, Lewis not easily deterred. He liked the challenge. "The sunlight hits you so perfectly in this spot," he said softly as he drank in her pained expression.

She glanced back at him and took in the hungry look in his eyes. Her face fell. Not again. She still ached from last night. Her body couldn't handle another round.

His hand lowered to her waist, grabbing her sweatshirt.

"No!" Olivia lunged off the futon, intent on getting away from him.

Lewis laughed and caught her easily, throwing her back down to the futon. "Oh no, you're not going anywhere."

Olivia let out a sob and started to roll away from him. His fingers tangled in her hair, halting her movement. Her head snapped her backwards, proving he was indeed a man of his word. Lewis pulled her back to him, and Olivia increased her struggles. She didn't want this. She never wanted it, but especially not today. She brought her cuffed hands up to fight him, but it was like using a flyswatter on a snake. It only fueled the fire.

He laughed at her attempts to escape him and captured the chain between her hands. "There's my spunky little girl." Lewis pulled her hands above her head, pinning Olivia's wrists down with one hand.

Utter panic began to sink into her heart as he held her down. "Please don't," she pleaded with a broken voice. Her eyes begged him to stop, to wait. But he only smirked in response, the lust in his eyes increasing with her struggles.

"Is this what happens when I let you sleep in?" Lewis asked with a laugh. "You get yourself all riled up?"

His hand awkwardly pulled at her pants, his task made harder by her continued twisting. Lewis could have ended it with one threat. He could have pulled out his knife and held it to her throat. He could have threatened to hurt someone if she didn't stop. But he wouldn't find that as entertaining. His fingers eventually snagged the waistband and yanked the pants down, victory shining in his eyes.

Olivia cried as the air hit her thighs. She wanted out. Right now. Away from everything to do with Lewis. Her body writhed underneath him as she pulled against his hold with all her strength. But her body didn't have that much to give. His one hand easily held her in place, deflecting her struggle with an arrogance that made her stomach turn.

He made quick work of unbuttoning his pants, rolling on top of her with precision.

Olivia turned red as he closed the distance between them, her lungs not getting enough air. "No!" She brought her knees up with renewed energy, trying to kick Lewis off her.

"Easy there, baby." Something disguised as gentleness softened his tone. "Don't hurt yourself."

Lewis captured her lips with bruising force, grabbing her jaw and tightening his grip until she opened it with a cry of protest.

Her skin crawled at his touch, like something inside her was clawing to get out. She couldn't keep doing this. Olivia twisted and pulled, but his hold on her was unrelenting.

Lewis finally pulled away from her, his hands positioning himself at her entrance. "I love it when you're like this."

"Lewis, please. You'll hurt the baby," she forced out through her tears.

He paused and glanced to her growing stomach. "If you're still pregnant after everything else I've done to you…I doubt this will make a difference."

Olivia choked back a cry as he entered her, the fight leaving her system as suddenly as it had appeared. Her eyes darted around the room, landing on the window a few feet away from her. Freedom was just outside it. But even to consider it was a joke. There were far too many things in her way. As she considered her options, she realized with a mounting sense of horror that she couldn't leave. Lewis had ensured there was no way out. She could probably break the window, but she had no shoes. Her feet were already torn to shreds. It would be too risky.

Lewis leaned in for another kiss, this time going for her lower lip. His teeth closed around it, bringing a sharp squeal of pain. "Stay with me, baby."

Her eyes darted back to him and found his cold eyes inches from her face.

"Good girl."

Olivia dutifully kept her eyes on him while her mind wandered. If she couldn't get out, that meant someone had to find her. Here, in this hidden house…somewhere close to Canada. Desolation threatened to drown her. How could she lead her team to this house if she didn't even know where it was? If Lewis never let her out?

She grunted as he made a harsh move with his hips. It was time for a new plan. She was going to get out. But it would have to be from someone else opening the door.

* * *

"This is insane! I'm a happily married man."

"You think I give a crap about your home life?" Fin slammed his fist down on the table. "I know you raped that girl."

The middle aged man across from him jumped, losing the color in his face. "I would never hurt a woman."

"Then why do we have two eye witnesses who say you did? And the rape kit? It will come back with your DNA all over her."

The man swallowed hard and crossed his arms. "You're bluffing. I didn't do anything. And if you had anything on me, I'd be in jail instead of in this room."

Fin shook his head with an angry scowl. "Trust me, you don't want to mess with me today. We have enough evidence to put you away for life. You'll miss the birth of your grandbaby. You won't see your son get married. And if you think your wife will stick around after this comes out…" Fin's voice trailed off as he stood up. "You know what – have a nice life. Deal's off the table."

The suspect's eyes widened, the consequences making his head spin. "Wait!"

Fin threw a look over his shoulder, his hand already on the door knob.

"I can't spend the rest of my life in jail. It would ruin my family. What kind of deal are you talking about?"

Fin rolled his eyes and opened the door. "Like I give a damn." The door slammed shut behind him, leaving the shaken man in silence.

Fin came to a halt as he saw Cragen waiting for him on the other side of the door. "If he wants to talk, we should get Barba in here to make a deal."

Fin barely acknowledged his comment. "Cowards like that don't deserve a deal."

"That's not up to you." Cragen rubbed his head. "We need to be fair about this. A deal would save the victim from a trial. You need to go back in there. Get him to talk."

"I'm done. Get someone else to talk to this lunatic." Fin handed him the case file and moved for towards the squad room.

Cragen stepped in front of him, blocking his path. "Walking away from suspects who want to talk, that won't help Liv."

Fin scowled and tried to move past the captain. He wasn't in the mood for a lecture. Everyone else in their squad was in up-state New York. Handing out fliers to every store within a fifty mile radius of the last store Lewis was sighted at. The papers depicted a picture of William Lewis and Olivia Benson. Offering a $500.00 reward for any information on their whereabouts. Meanwhile, Fin was stuck trying to hold it together at home.

"Fin." Cragen's voice softened. "Liv wouldn't want this."

He narrowed his eyes, wanting to argue that Liv wanted to be found. She would understand some perps aren't worth talking to. That those men just needed to rot in a dark cell. She would understand he had to go help his team. That he had to help her. But the sadness in Cragen's eyes stopped Fin from saying those things. He understood the self-loathing and anger. Everyone in the department felt it. They had let down one of their own.

"This will never stop being hard," Cragen acknowledged. He lowered his eyes to the floor, as if expelling the words drained all his energy. "But that doesn't mean we stop doing our job." He took in a deep breath and put his captain hat back on. "Call Barba and tell him Mr. Atwood wants to make a deal."

Fin frowned and started to argue. But this time, he heard Liv's voice. She was telling him to go. Be a cop. Do the things she couldn't do. And how could he argue with that? If he couldn't find her, the least he could do is fight for justice the way she did. It's what Liv would do if she were here.

Cragen handed him back the case file and took a final glance at the wilting suspect before walking away.

Fin gripped the manila folder and reached for his phone with a sigh. These days, calling Barba was like sticking your hand in a pot of boiling water. Of course, everyone in SVU was angry. And if you were unfortunate enough to rile anyone up, you were bound to get a few burns in the process. Barba was no different. It just so happened that he got riled up about pretty much everything. Which made talking to him almost impossible. Fin dialed the ADA and reluctantly put the phone to his ear.

"What? Your squad forget that email exists? Or do you just want to make my life as difficult as possible?" Barba barked through the phone.

Fin rolled his eyes. It was going to be a long day. But then again, every day was a long day.

* * *

Lewis collapsed on top of his prisoner with a contented sigh, trying to catch his breath.

Olivia turned her head away, hoping to escape him if only for a few seconds. But their bodies were too entangled. His legs laid between hers. His fingers tangled in her hair. She couldn't block him out. Let alone ignore the increasing pain between her legs.

"You were amazing, baby. If every time could be like that…" his voice trailed off as he ran a finger across her face.

"Get off of me," Olivia gritted out, desperate for a pretense she existed for something other than Lewis and his twisted desires.

"What's the matter, Olivia? You didn't enjoy yourself?" Lewis shifted and looked between them, seeing a swirl of blood pooling between her legs. "Guess not," he commented.

Olivia winced at his movement, the pain turning into a stabbing ache.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure you have some fun next time." He winked.

She sneered at the look on his face and spit in his face. "Go to hell."

A startled Lewis reached up to wipe off his forehead. "No need to be so hostile about it, darling."

Her nostrils flared in anger, both of them glaring daggers at the other. The tension grew until it felt like the room would explode at any second.

Finally, a rumbling from Olivia's stomach cracked the moment.

Lewis glanced down and frowned. "Guess Junior's hungry."

Olivia made no comment. Her stomach may have growled, but the hurt living in her body made food unthinkable.

"Get up. The apples will be turning brown." Lewis rolled to his feet and pulled up his pants. He then grabbed his black t-shirt and pulled it over his head, glancing back at the futon. Olivia laid where he had left her. No effort to move, to stand, or even to roll over. Her chest was the only part of her body that was moving. And even that moved just enough to prove she was still alive. To prove she was still fighting. The thought made him sneer. "Let's go," he insisted firmly.

Olivia closed her eyes at the command. She didn't want to go. She didn't want to move. But as she peeled her eyes open and caught the expression on Lewis' face, motivation began to swirl inside her. Olivia pushed herself off the futon and felt his hand close around her arm. The room tilted as she stood, Lewis' grip the only thing keeping her upright.

He hissed at the strain on his back and almost regretted the last thirty minutes. His back had stung before, but a harsh burning now twisted his muscles. He would be moving slow for a day or two. He glanced down at his shaking victim, taking in the turmoil on her face and the tears in her eyes. And as she struggled to try to keep herself composed, he grinned. He could handle the back pain.

Olivia stayed still as Lewis pulled her pants back up, feeling the numbness settle in. If only it would stay. She felt her body move towards the kitchen, her mind a blank slate. How could one man be so full of hate? And still so full of nothing? It almost seemed like yesterday had been a dream. How could Lewis be both a monster and that haunted little boy? She didn't know. And she was really too tired to care.

Lewis slammed her into a kitchen chair, causing a wave of agony between her legs. Olivia clenched her teeth and swallowed the cry of pain. She didn't need Lewis to know how bad she hurt.

"Couldn't find the granola, so I guess it's just apples and peanut butter." Lewis dropped the plate of apples in front of her and opened up the jar of peanut butter. "Eat up."

Olivia eyed the peanut butter with disdain and reached for the apple slices. She'd rather eat them plain than have to battle the sticky substance. She had tasted more than her fair share of it lately.

Lewis plopped down across the table, frowning at the plain apple slice in her hand. "You need to put peanut butter on it. The baby needs protein."

She rolled her eyes and bit into the apple. "The baby's fine," she said around her food, fighting the urge to throw the jar of peanut butter at his head. If Lewis kept up this doting father charade, she was going to shove his head through that damn window he fixed.

Lewis observed the fight in her eyes with a measure of surprise. Raping Olivia usually subdued her fight, wiped out all her energy. This continued snarl was something new. "It doesn't work out well when you fight me, sweetheart."

Olivia raised an eyebrow as she bit off another piece, her defiance written all over her face.

The unspoken challenge grated his ears. His fingers clenched into a fist, memories of her screams ringing in his ears. "That baby won't stop me from hurting you," he warned.

"But peanut butter will?" Olivia scoffed.

Anger flashed in Lewis' eyes at her tone, and Olivia's heart skipped a beat. Maybe she should try to eat the peanut butter. It was useless to fight him on something so small. And after all, she was malnourished. She could feel it. And if she needed nutrients, the baby probably did too.

Olivia reached for another apple slice and froze. Her eyes darted from Lewis' hardened eyes to the peanut butter. Of course. Why had she not thought of it before? Her mind started spinning in circles, and Olivia struggled to make sense of it. Lewis would never let her leave, that much was clear. And she certainly did not have the stamina for an escape. So the only option was to get her squad here. That was the only way out. And if she couldn't lead them here directly, she would have to do so indirectly. Using the only other person who knew where she was.

She looked back at Lewis, forcing down the hope soaring within her. "Peanut butter won't help that much, you know."

Lewis eyed her cautiously as she dipped an apple slice in the peanut butter.

"Babies need more than protein to grow. Especially in the second trimester when their bones are developing," Olivia said nonchalantly. "Babies need calcium and iron. Vitamin D. Even potassium. Things you won't find in pop-tarts."

Lewis grabbed a few apple slices and tilted his head. "So what? You want me to go get you some milk and spinach now? Is that it?"

Olivia shrugged and finished off her apple slice. "I don't care what you do. From what you've said, you'll have the kid long after I'm gone. If you want him to break a bone every time he falls, that's on you, Lewis."

Various emotions played on Lewis' face. "We don't have a way to keep that stuff cold."

Olivia glanced to the broken refrigerator behind him. "You could pick up a cooler, some ice. It would keep it cold for a little while. And it's already getting cooler outside. We can set food on the porch. Should keep it cool for a few days" She bit her lip as Lewis contemplated her suggestion. "It doesn't have to be all the time. If you pick up milk and vegetables, I could eat those first. Before it goes bad and while it's still cold. Then we can go back to eating the pop tarts and granola."

Lewis narrowed his eyes. "Why do you care all the sudden?"

Panic surged inside her. He couldn't know what she was thinking. It would never work if he knew. "Maybe I don't hate this baby as much as you think I do," she offered softly. Her hand reached for another apple slice, obediently scooping a little peanut butter on it.

Lewis studied her for a quiet moment and narrowed his eyes. "We'll see."

Olivia quickly popped the apple in her mouth before the relief could show on her face. Two words, two small words. But if she could talk him into getting more food, she had a chance. If Lewis went into town more often, someone might notice him. Recognize him. Call the police. It was a longshot, but at least it was something.

Who knew that two small words could mean so much.


	13. Chapter 13

My sincerest apologies the update took this long! I had some family issues going on that complicated life, and it was hard to get back into writing. I know this is a short chapter, but I wanted to give you guys something to tide you over while I worked on writing something longer. Thanks so much for your patience!

* * *

Pain was a funny thing. Paper cuts. Torn cuticles. Scratches. Injuries so minor, they could almost be forgotten. Until, of course, someone put hand sanitizer on. Then it burned. Reminding the person of their injury. She had seen people hiss at that reminder. Some even cursed. Olivia had always bit back a laugh when she saw it happen. Not anymore.

Somehow, she managed to draw in a shaky breath of air. It was a good thing her body knew what to do. Her mind certainly wasn't of much use. Pain rolled up from her feet and joined the agony living between her legs. Olivia didn't even know where the pain started and where the pain stopped.

She could still feel his fingers around her ankle. Holding her down while he cleaned her feet with the alcohol. Olivia had screamed. Lewis had laughed. And then he left there, as he always did. Trembling and tied down on a mattress. In the beginning, it drove her crazy. Left alone with the echoes of her screams, wondering if this would be the time Lewis left and didn't come back. But now, Olivia knew better. Lewis would be back. And the sound of her screams were better than the sound of his voice. So she would deal with the darkness. She would deal with the unknown. Because at least she was alone.

A shiver ran through Olivia. Was it from the pain? Was it from the cold? She pondered the cause for a moment before a titter passed through her lips. Did it even matter?

Every time Olivia thought she had this mess figured out, each time she thought she knew which end was up, Lewis managed to completely derail her. It was like living in a snow globe. A freaking cold snow globe.

Another shiver passed through her, and she made her decision. It was from the cold. Her eyes darted around the room. She wasn't sure why, there was nothing to see. But at least it was something to do. A wave of sadness passed over her. The hardest part of her new plan was accepting she couldn't get out of this by herself. Lewis had ensured that.

Maybe her plan would work. After all, he had left her alone. But why? For all she knew, Lewis could be outside creating some new torture from hell. Or, he could have driven to town. Maybe some part of that monster actually cared for this baby. The poor kid.

Her detective instincts knew this was a long-term plan. It would take several trips to the store before the police could successfully follow him back to the house. Which meant if Lewis really had gone to the store for fresh food, she would have to devour it.

Olivia grimaced at the thought. Hopefully the morning sickness would slow down enough to accommodate that need. She yawned as her eyes half closed. Her body ached for sleep, but she couldn't be so lazy. Olivia needed to think. She couldn't fight Lewis physically. She knew that now. But mentally - emotionally, the options were limitless.

How horrific it must be to watch your parent die. Olivia had always assumed Lewis came out of the womb evil. He may have, but there was a glimmer of humanity when he spoke about his mom. Lewis wouldn't tolerate Olivia bringing her up often, though. She would have to find some other way to reach him.

A bitter laugh rumbled in her chest. Reach Lewis? She must be losing her mind. There was no reaching him. Then again, he seemed pretty possessive of the poor thing growing inside her. If only she could stay awake long enough to figure out how to combine his mom and this baby into something that could help her get out of this hole from hell.

Another yawn stretched her jaw, and Olivia felt her stiff muscles relax. Maybe she could rest her eyes for a few minutes. After all, she needed to think, and keeping her eyes open was taking far too much effort.

She stopped fighting her body and let her eyes close. The pain slowly eased into a dull ache, and the mattress somehow became softer. Olivia curled into herself as much as her restraints allowed and let sleep claim her. Planning would come later. Rest needed to come first.

Lewis cursed as his foot tripped over the threshold. He enjoyed the thrill of having Olivia at his disposal, but these grocery runs were getting ridiculous.

He threw the bags on the counter and frowned as the bananas toppled out. He didn't even remember grabbing bananas. Lewis rubbed his head with a sigh. Maybe he should sleep on the futon tonight. Without Olivia jabbing him every few minutes to go to the bathroom, at least he would get some sleep.

Lewis looked down at the bags with disdain. If he threatened Olivia enough, he might be able to sit down and make her put away the supplies. He shook his head with a rueful smile. If anyone could make a weapon out of food, it would be Olivia. Better not chance it.

With a tired step, he circled back to the car and brought in the last of the food. Olivia and her sudden concern for the baby's health. It was ridiculous.

Lewis stepped outside and leaned against the cabin, taking a moment to observe the peaceful scene before him. Birds sang in the distance, and crickets started their song. An orange color painted the sky as the sun set behind the trees. The peaceful scene belied the horror hidden in the old house. Lewis smirked. People underestimated him. Everywhere he went, they just thought he was lucky. And there may be some of that, Lewis admitted to himself. But he was careful to plan. He knew how to enjoy the simple things. His eyes scanned across the dirt road to the treeline. Nothing but nature...and a little bit of evil. Lewis grinned at the rounded dirt mound across the dirt path. He could still see Allison's face of horror as he pulled the trigger. It was almost too easy sometimes.

His stomach growled, reminding him how long ago breakfast was. He had more important things to do than look at a sunset. Olivia's desolate face came to mind. His eyes darkened with intent as his feet moved towards the car. It was going to be a fun night.

* * *

"Those precious little babies. Aren't they just the cutest thing you've ever seen?"

Brian turned to Nick with a raised eyebrow. If this woman didn't shut up about her grandchildren, he was going to blow through the roof.

Nick smiled an acknowledgement before showing her the photo of Lewis. "Are you sure you haven't seen this man?"

The gray-haired manager glanced at the picture with a quick shake of her head. "We don't get many visitors around here. Did I show you this - "

"Thank you for your time," Nick interrupted. "Is there a place we can hang these two pictures in case they come through?"

The woman glanced around the grocery store and shrugged. "There's a bulletin board by the door."

Brian shook his head and tried to breathe through his frustration. "We need this to be in a less obvious place. This man is very dangerous. If he saw this picture hanging at the front door, he'd just turn around and leave. Is there an employee area we can put it?"

The manager shifted with an uneasy glance at the back. "We don't really put anything back there."

"Could you make an exception for a serial rapist who kidnapped a cop?" Brian asked coldly with fire in his eyes.

"What my colleague here means," Nick started with a rebuking glare at Brian. "Is this woman was kidnapped almost four and a half months ago. We need to find her, and we believe he is holding her prisoner in an abandoned home close by. The only way we can help her is if you help us. Please, is there any way we can put this in your break room? So if he does come in, all of your employees will know to call us?"

The woman's eyes softened at Nick's pleading gaze. Her eyes turned to the two pictures before her. She wasn't sure which disturbed her more. The steely look in the man's eyes, or the gentle smile on the woman's face. She couldn't possibly picture the two together. "All right," she relented. "I'll hang it in the back."

Nick's relieved smile cracked his face. "Thank you so much. Our number is on the bottom. If anyone sees anything at all, please call us."

The manager accepted the posters, concern easing into her expression. "I'm sorry to sound so callous. I hope you find your friend."

Brian set his jaw and nodded his response. "We have some other stops. Thank you for your time."

Nick waited until they were outside before letting loose. "Are you kidding me? Liv's life is on the line. We can't go around insulting the people we're asking for help!"

Brian turned to face him with a scowl. "We wasted fifteen minutes listening to her tell us about her children and grandchildren. We do that at every stop, and Liv will run out of time."

Nick huffed at the callousness. "It's different up here, man. People aren't going to help us out of the kindness of their heart. You have to talk with them, let them know they matter, or they'll never help us find her."

Brian rolled his eyes with a snort. "You be sure to explain that to Liv when she asks why it took us eight months to find her."

Nick clenched his fist as Brian got in the car. If he made it through this without punching Brian, it would be a miracle.

* * *

The sudden metal clanging in the quiet room made Olivia jerk. She caught the accompanying groan in her throat. She hated how everything hurt...all the time.

"Look at you still lying there. Didn't try to tear the knots with your teeth this time?"

Olivia swallowed hard at the malice in his tone. She had only done it one time, but that was more than enough for Lewis to hold it over her head.

"Of course," Lewis continued, "There's not much point when there's two locked doors between you and freedom, now is there?"

She stared stoically at the ceiling, ignoring Lewis and his angry jaunts. He was clearly annoyed at something. Maybe he did go to the grocery store. Oh well. She didn't give a crap. If it helped her friends find her...if it helped anyone find her...she could deal with his attitude.

Cold fingers slid up her stomach, and she couldn't stop the whine from escaping her throat. The only bad thing about ignoring Lewis was being unprepared for his touch.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Lewis lifted her sweatshirt higher, sliding his fingers across her breasts. "Are you mad you had to stay here while I went to town?" His lips brushed against her skin, and he chuckled at her revolted shiver. "It is so easy to get a rise out of you, Olivia."

She turned her head away, trying to stop the tears from flowing. He was right. As strong as she wanted to be - as much as she had to think like a cop, her body was another matter. It reacted to his touch before she could think. Before she could stop it.

"As entertaining as this is, there's some supplies that need to be put away. So we need to get you up."

Olivia's brow furrowed as she felt his fingers retreat and her sweatshirt fall back down. Why did she have to be up for Lewis to put away food? She gave a slight shake of her head, not understanding the annoyance rising within her. She was tired of being restrained, but hated having to walk. It made no sense. Then again, was it supposed to?

Lewis pulled Olivia to a sitting position and sat her on the edge of the bed. He tilted his head and gave a quick glance to her feet. "Do you think you can make it to the kitchen without your feet breaking open?"

Olivia lifted her tired eyes to his, confused at his question. "I don't know - " her voice broke into a shriek as he lifted her in his arms. "What are you - no, stop!"

"Hush."

Her cheeks burned red with humiliation as Lewis moved into the kitchen. She didn't need him to carry her. She wasn't a child.

Lewis huffed with the effort as he dropped her into a kitchen chair. "Stay," he ordered harshly.

With crimson cheeks, her focus turned to the bags on the counter. Against her better judgement, hope started to burn within her. "Did you get the food?"

"Something better." Lewis shuffled over to the counter and started fishing through the bags. "Ah yes, this one."

Olivia eyed him as he brought the suspiciously half-empty bag to the table beside her.

"Feel free to look through it."

Her eyes grew as Lewis dropped the bag and walked back to the counter. Why wasn't he bothering to cuff her?

With a shrug, Olivia reached for the bag. She almost felt like it was Christmas. The feeling quickly faded as she saw what was in it. Her body stiffened as she reached for the first bottle.

"Calcium pills?"

Lewis let out a laugh. "If you thought I was gonna hike up to the store every week to stock a broken refrigerator, you don't know me very well."

Olivia willed herself not to cry as she saw what else was in the bag. Iron pills. Potassium supplements. Multi-vitamins. Each bottle ranged from 100 to 250 doses.

Lewis paused from putting away the bags of chips and glanced at his frozen hostage. "What's wrong? I forgot something?" He chuckled and gathered the newly empty bags into a pile. "That's why I grabbed the multi-vitamins. Figured it would make up for anything I didn't get."

Olivia barely heard him. Her vision shrunk to just the bottles before her. She was vaguely aware of Lewis putting things away, but she couldn't think past the vitamins. How was she supposed to work with this?

Lewis finished the task at hand and smirked at the desolate look in Olivia's eyes. He knew she really didn't care about the baby. Maybe she was hoping for an escape attempt or that someone would recognize him in town. She really did not give him enough credit for the life he had built for them. It may be a life on the run, but he gave her everything she needed. Maybe not everything she wanted, but she had enough to survive. Wasn't her very existence proof of that?

Olivia saw Lewis move out of the corner of her eye and focused on him in time to see him kneel in front of her.

"There are rules."

"Rules?" Olivia repeated, her voice void of emotion.

His eyes sparkled with mischief while warning glinted in the background. "Don't think I'm a fool. I know that taking vitamins will make you stronger."

Olivia felt her eyebrows rise. Yes, being stronger would be a plus. Not that she knew how that would help her solve the current dilemma.

"Here's the deal." Lewis narrowed his eyes and waited until he had her full attention. "You pull one escape attempt... _one_ ," he emphasized slowly. "I will tie you to the bed twenty-four hours a day with a pee bucket beside you."

Her face crinkled at the thought. They didn't even consider escape attempts the same way. Sometimes, her body simply reacted before her brain could stop it. No matter, she would figure it out. She would not spend the rest of her life tied to a bed. The very thought made her want to vomit.

"Do you understand?" Lewis asked in a hard tone.

Olivia nodded her reply. She would behave. At least, she would try to.

"Good." Lewis stood and slid her a bottle of water. "Read the instructions and take your pills. My son won't be born a pathetic little wimp."

Olivia tilted her head in some form of rebellion, but she had no idea where it came from. Taking the vitamins would help her cause. And him calling the baby a wimp, she didn't care about that. She didn't even care about the thing.

She reached for the first bottle, trying to name the surge of defiance rolling through her. As she fought the plastic wrapping around the lid, she began to doubt her argument circling in her head. She surely couldn't care for a baby fathered by William Lewis. If she loved a monster's baby...wouldn't that make her a monster too?

Olivia wrestled the cotton out of the bottle and popped a vitamin in her mouth. As the water slid the pill down her throat, she pondered that thought. There was no way she loved that baby. She didn't even like it. Olivia slid the lid back on and reached for another vitamin. She avoided Lewis' penetrating gaze and pushed that burning question out of her mind. Olivia would deal with that baby when she had to. First, she had to get away from Lewis. On to Plan B.


	14. Chapter 14

It is so difficult to write this story sometimes. I want to be kind to the readers, but I'm also a firm believer in letting the characters write the story. Given who Lewis is...it tends to get dark. That being said, this is one of the darker chapters I've written, more mental than physical.

Thank you all for your continued support and feedback. Keep it coming!

* * *

Olivia chewed her lip as she contemplated new escape ideas. Faking an injury was out. Lewis had injured her almost beyond repair multiple times, and he had never taken her to a hospital. She couldn't imagine how bad she would have to actually hurt herself in order to actually concern Lewis. Olivia's lip curled at the thought of Lewis nursing her back to health.. She had to come up with something else.

"The sandwich won't bite you."

Olivia's eyes flew to Lewis, started at his voice. "What?"

Lewis raised an eyebrow. "If looks could kill, that sandwich would be a piece of charcoal."

She looked down at the table in front of her and frowned. Was that a ham and cheese sandwich? She glanced back up at Lewis, almost expecting him to answer her silent question. Her eyes met stony ones. Lewis sat rigid against the seat. His fists were clenched. His hair was slightly ruffled and starting to grow past his ears. In that moment, their ordeal was evident in both of their faces. Each was fighting a different battle, but a battle all the same.

"Junior giving you a tough time again? Or do you just like to annoy me?" Lewis popped the last bit of his sandwich in his mouth and pushed back from the table.

Olivia eyed her uneaten sandwich. She should be licking up the leftover crumbs by now. She didn't even know how long it had been since Lewis had given her something to eat other than fruit and pop tarts. She should be relishing the opportunity to eat something new, something different. But try as she might, she couldn't will herself to pick up it up. "I'm not hungry."

Lewis sighed. "We can't keep it around forever. The sandwich has cheese on it and will go bad. You're the one who wanted food for the baby. Eat the damn sandwich."

She fought the frustration growing inside her. She couldn't even make the decision on whether or not to eat a freaking sandwich. Lewis relentlessly controlled every part of her life. She hated it. Olivia stared at the table and thought about throwing the sandwich just for spite, but a tremble coursed through her just thinking of how Lewis would react.

It was that thought that made her shaky hands reach for the sandwich. Anything to keep the monster at bay.

His shoulders relaxed. After the long day of driving, he didn't feel like fighting Olivia. He was grateful months of torture had her trembling if he so much as raised an eyebrow. She knew what he was capable of, and he was more than willing to take advantage of that knowledge.

Olivia avoided his gaze as she ate her dinner. Her mind never stopped working, the detective in her analyzing the situation for any possible out. She had to think of something.

Lewis stayed in place, leaning towards her as she ate the last bite. His eyes got dark as she swallowed, his excitement about the evening growing. "Bathroom?"

Olivia nodded her response, her stomach already queasy from eating.

Lewis motioned towards the bathroom. "Go. You have two minutes."

She gave him a startled glance, surprised that he would let her go to the bathroom alone again.

Lewis came at her with a growl and that was all the motivation she needed.

"I'm up, I'm up." Olivia quickly stood to her feet, bracing for the pain she had come to expect.

Lewis leaned against the kitchen counter and gave her another warning glare. "Ninety seconds."

Her eyes grew big as she realized he was serious. Olivia hobbled as quickly as she could, landing on the toilet as Lewis called out a forty-five second warning. Panic began to build in her as her bladder emptied far too slowly. Lewis was already calling the thirty second mark as she scrambled to pull her pants up. She felt like she was running back to the kitchen, but she knew it was slow going. Her hands pulled her to the living room wall just as Lewis called time.

Olivia followed his voice and found a dark silhouette. He had moved to the kitchen doorway. It didn't surprise her. Lewis was always there. Always watching. Always waiting for her to mess up. Which apparently, she did all the time.

Her mind raced with ways to appease him. She really had moved as fast as possible. Her injured body simply didn't work the way it used to. Olivia looked up at him, deciding it was best not to move until she could gauge his anger.

Lewis crossed his arms, taking in his victim. To the untrained eye, it would appear Olivia simply stopped moving because she was in pain. The defiant stance of her chin would imply she was ready for a fight, and her silence was evidence of her willpower. But he was not untrained. He saw the pleading in her eyes. The way she hugged the wall, expecting him to hurt her. He saw her tremble as his gaze traveled over her body, and the way her lips parted as his dark gaze made eye contact. He could get lost in her eyes. It was as if they had a dozen pleas and couldn't figure out which one to use.

"Come here."

Olivia's heart skipped a beat. "Please, I -"

"Now, Olivia," Lewis barked.

She lowered her eyes and closed them for a brief moment. Any punishment he had in mind for her pretended disobedience would not get any better if she made him come get her. Somehow, her feet understood this and started walking towards Lewis. Olivia wasn't sure how they were moving, because her brain had definitely not told them to.

Lewis didn't bother hiding his growing grin as Olivia shuffled towards him. He waited until she was within arm's reach before stepping towards her.

Olivia's eyes grew as she felt Lewis' arms close around her. "Please Lewis, I really tried," her voice broke as fear settled in her throat.

His grin broke into a full smile at how terrified she was. He had purposely given her an impossible timeframe to see what she would do. He had been working on conditioning her, and he thought it was going well. It was taking much longer than he thought, but Olivia was the definition of a fighter.

"Do you remember what happened this morning?" Lewis asked softly. His fingers traced her jawline; his face tilting as she kept her eyes lowered.

Olivia offered a quick nod. She didn't want to talk about this morning.

"Do you remember what I promised you?"

Her brow furrowed as her mind traveled back to that unfortunate turn of events. She replayed it in her head, but couldn't figure out what he could be talking about. Olivia reluctantly raised her eyes to meet his gaze, quivering at how close his face was to hers.

Lewis gave a knowing smile and tightened his hold, knowing she was about to fight. "I'll make sure you have some fun next time."

Olivia's confusion mounted. Fun? When did they ever have fun? What did Lewis even consider fun? She lowered her eyes again, unable to take his penetrating gaze for a moment longer. The only things Lewis enjoyed was torture and sex. He did rape her this morning, but…

He bit back a laugh as realization dawned in her eyes. Olivia started shaking her head, bringing her hands up to push him away. But she was no match for his grip - she never was.

"No," she pleaded as his arms tightened around her. "Please." Anything but that. She hated when Lewis did it. Rape was bad enough, but being forced to have your body betray you? Hadn't she endured enough these last few days?

Lewis leaned into his squirming victim, his breath tickling his ear. "We talked about that word, sweetheart." He kept her close, ignoring her fight. "I tell you what."

Olivia forced herself to stop panicking. His body was far too close to hers, but she had to focus. If he was about to offer any kind of bargain to get out of this, she would gladly take him up on it.

Lewis moved away enough to see her face while still keeping his arms wrapped tightly around her. "If you're a good girl, I'll forget you told me no."

Her heart skipped a beat. Those two things didn't go together. Being a good girl meant she did whatever his twisted mind came up with. It also meant she did it without a fight, which means saying "no" didn't happen. There had to be a catch.

As if on cue, Lewis let her go. She stumbled to regain her balance while avoiding the allusion she was trying to run away.

"Go to the bedroom," Lewis ordered. "Take off your clothes, and wait for me on the bed."

Olivia's hand started to tremble, her heart beating faster with each sentence he said. She wasn't getting out of anything. Lewis just wanted to play with her.

Lewis raised an eyebrow and hardened his jaw, giving her one glare that carried many dark promises.

He wasn't asking. She knew that. The latest threats swirled in her memory, but they meant little in this moment. There were always more threats. She was living with a psychopath.

She tried to go over her options. Olivia could go into her room and do as he said, or she could...do what? She couldn't run. There was nowhere to go. She couldn't fight him, either. Olivia had tried and failed too many times. So really - did she have another option?

Olivia steeled herself and nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She reminded herself again, survival wasn't pretty. Survival meant just that - staying alive. And no one, absolutely no one, would ever need to know the things she had done to survive.

"Go on. I have to take a leak."

Olivia nodded again, wondering if that was all she was capable of tonight. Her feet plodded forward, and she wanted to scream at them. They were taking her the wrong way! She didn't want to go back in that room. That horrible, blood stained room that had already heard too many screams. Her feet, however, seemed to know what her brain had already figured out. This was simply the only way she could go.

* * *

Fin stared at the screen in front of him. He was supposed to be doing something. Filling out paperwork? Following up on a lead? They had a new case. Maybe?

He pushed away from his desk with a growl. "I need some food."

The Captain paused mid conversation and pointed to the holding cell. "You can put him in there, officer."

Fin watched the officers manhandle a very drunk man towards the cell, feeling very disjointed from the world.

The Captain walked over and sat down on the corner of the desk. "Wanna talk about it?"

Fin's eyes fell to his phone out of habit. It had been quiet too long. "It's been days since we had a lead on Olivia. And I'm just wasting my time on these scumbags."

"What would you do if you were with them?" The Captain asked softly.

Fin shrugged. "I don't know, but at least I'd be there. It's Olivia. We can't forget about her."

The Captain rubbed his head, feeling so tired that exhaustion seemed like an exaggeration. "I don't know what else we can do, Fin. The local police are scouring the local stores and searching for abandoned homes. They even reinstated Brian to join the task force. We're doing all we can to help Olivia, but that doesn't mean we stop helping the people here. We have a job to do."

Fin scowled, wanting to argue that no job was more important than finding Olivia. Hell, he'd quit the force if it meant he could do more to help her.

The Captain stood and tried to brush the wrinkles from his suit. "Go home, Fin. Get some sleep. Get some food. Call Amanda and see if they've found anything. But take a break."

"Liv doesn't get a break," Fin mumbled.

"Even Lewis has to sleep sometime, which again, you should also do."

Fin shook his head in disagreement and grabbed his coat. "What about you, Captain? You look worse than I do."

"The couch works fine."

Fin frowned. "In a glass office?"

The Captain shrugged. "There's always work to do."

For the first time, the fog over Fin broke and he saw the brokenness in his captain's eyes. Sometimes, he forgot there were other people in this fight too.

"Pizza or Chinese?"

The Captain yawned and shook his head.

"I'll be back with the pizza in thirty." Fin threw his jacket on and headed for the door. He started to yawn himself and made a mental note to pick up coffee with the pizza.

* * *

Olivia stared at the pile of clothes on the floor with longing. Clothes were not much of a barrier around Lewis, but they still made her feel better.

She wrapped her arms around her torso a little tighter, goosebumps already forming on her skin. It was gonna be a cold night. Olivia eyed the blanket laying beside her on the mattress, but quickly dismissed the idea. Lewis would be angry if she covered herself up.

"Look at you." Lewis whistled as he approached her. "So you do know how to listen."

Olivia stared at the ground, having no desire to see the lust in his eyes.

"Stand up."

She pushed herself to a standing position and hissed at the jolt of pain in her feet. It was taking her feet forever to heal.

Lewis walked into her peripheral vision and stopped directly in front of her.

Silence was one of his favorite games. He didn't need to say anything. His presence would terrify anyone into action. She was no exception. Olivia slowly moved her gaze upward. His bare feet came into her vision first, followed by his favorite pair of jeans. The black t-shirt was next, covered in part by the gray windbreaker he was still wearing. Her eyes continued their trek until they were paralyzed by dark eyes.

She shifted uncomfortably, aware of his eyes drinking in her naked body.

"Take my clothes off."

Olivia's eyes widened and she temporarily forgot her pain. "What?" she croaked out.

"You heard me," Lewis stated, his lips a straight line. "Be a good girl, and take off my clothes."

Be a good girl. His earlier statements suddenly made sense. Lewis hadn't give her slack for telling him no. This was his way of punishing her. It was already paralyzing to know Lewis planned to make her _enjoy_ tonight. Now - he wanted her to touch him? Take off his clothes and pretend she wanted any part of this charade?

Olivia shook her head as Lewis closed the distance between them. "I - I can't," she stammered. She tried to move away from him, but her legs were already against the bed. There was no where for her to go. The only thing she could do was lay down, and she didn't relish the thought with Lewis towering over her.

Lewis raised an eyebrow as he came to a stop. His eyes fell to her scabbed shoulder and her scarred breasts. "You take off my clothes, or I'll get the blowtorch. Your choice, sweetheart."

Her mouth gaped open, utter panic coursing through her. The pain in her shoulder paled in comparison to her feet and her back, but she knew the immediate burning sensation too well. Her body already ached, and she didn't want anymore pain. Olivia's eyes darted around the room, sure there must be an alternative.

Lewis licked the corner of his mouth at her apparent disregard. "Really? That's your choice? Want matching burnt shoulders?"

Olivia shook her head. No, she really didn't want to meet the blowtorch tonight. As always, Lewis played with her until she was in a corner with only one way out. And from where she was standing, the way out seemed grossly unpleasant.

Lewis stood in place as Olivia took a tentative step forward. A glimmer of relief shone in his eyes to see her shaking hands reach for his jacket. He had won. Again.

He gave no comment as she pulled the sleeve off one arm, then the other. He simply kept his eyes on Olivia, feeling his satisfaction grow at the same rate redness took over her face.

Her stiff fingers dropped his coat to the floor. She had barely touched him, yet she already felt ice cold. Olivia bit her lip as she eyed his t-shirt. This was going to be awkward.

He did his best to bite back a laugh, but he knew a chuckle still rumbled in his chest. He watched her eyes dart between his shirt sleeves and the hem of the shirt, trying to figure out the best way to undress him when she couldn't even stand up straight.

After a few heartbeats of silence, Olivia reached for the hem of his t-shirt and started to pull it up. Once half of his stomach was exposed, Lewis raised his arms to allow the shirt to be taken off.

Olivia let out a sigh of relief as his t-shirt joined his jacket on the floor. Her brow crinkled at the realization. She shouldn't be relieved. Lewis had made it clear what would happen when his clothes were off. She should be taking her time, trying to delay him. The common sense inside her argued with the emotional side. This was mental torture, and she wanted it over. It didn't matter that physical torture was minutes away. She had become accustomed to it.

Lewis stayed quiet for the rest of the ordeal. He offered no help to Olivia, forcing her to ask for his cooperation. Her shaky hands pulled his belt loose and slid his pants down to his ankles. Her face wore her emotions as she softly asked him to step out of them. He only had to ask her to repeat her question four times before the tears ran down her cheeks. He was making progress.

"Only one thing left, sweetheart."

She gaped at him. "I've done all the rest."

Lewis pulled at his underwear with a warning glint in his eyes. "And you'll finish the job."

Olivia swallowed hard. She didn't know why it mattered. Lewis had killed her pride long ago. Although, maybe he hadn't. After all, why else would she be so agitated at the task in front of her?

His shoulders relaxed as his victim did just what he told her to do. He didn't know how long this compliant Olivia would last, but he sure would enjoy her while he had the chance.

She dropped his boxers to the floor like it was burning hot, wiping her hands on her thighs. Crap. She was still naked. The full force of the evening landed on her shoulders, and her whole body slumped.

"Lay down."

Her head shook automatically. Refusing her rapist came naturally.

Lewis set his jaw and stepped forward, tangling his fingers in her hair before she could protest. "I've been driving all day to get you stupid vitimans you don't even want to take!"

Olivia cringed at the anger in his voice, wishing the floor would swallow her whole.

"Do you know how bad it hurts to drive through pothole infested roads for hours when your back hurts? Do you?" his voice thundered in her ear.

She winced and reached for his wrist. If she could just ease the pressure, maybe she could think.

"You want to fight me?" Lewis roared as her fingers made contact with his.

"No," Olivia stammered. "I'm just tired."

"And you think I'm not?" His hold tightened.

"Ow!"

"If you want to fight, let's fight." Lewis pulled her into him, her bare back against his chest. "But you better remember what happens when you fight," he growled.

Olivia tried to shake her head no, but his hold was too tight.

"Well? What's it gonna be?"

His hold was unrelenting. Her heart dropped. She knew how this ended. No amount of pleading or fighting would change it. "I'll be good," she whispered.

"Again."

Olivia squeezed her eyes shut as his grip pulled her neck into an awkward angle. She could feel his erection growing against her butt already. Her fight was only turning him on. Better to give in now. Maybe he would get bored. "I'll be a good girl."

His hold loosened. "Then do it."

She nodded against him, dread growing inside her like a wildfire.

Lewis stepped back and motioned to the bed in front of her.

Olivia's heart raced. She could do this. She had done this before. There were just no restraints this time. It should make her feel better, but it didn't. The Olivia Benson from four months ago would bristle at this. She wouldn't do it. She would run. She would fight.

Olivia took a step forward and reached for the bed. If only she were still that person. The mattress dipped as she sat down, and she saw Lewis moving towards her. She turned away as he climbed onto the bed beside her. She remembered the fight they had their first night here. He had told her then she'd never be the same. He was right. The very thought threatened to drown her, but Lewis had other ideas for the evening.

He laid his hands on her shoulders, pushing her down slowly. His lips landed on her cheek, his hands already exploring what he had claimed as his.

Olivia's lips started to quiver. There would be no escaping his touch tonight. No dreaming of another world. Her hand clenched the blanket beside her, anxious to feel something other than his skin.

"Eyes on me, detective." Lewis reached for her hands and pinned them above her head. "You're staying with me tonight."

Her fingers grasped the empty air, already missing the comforting blanket. She reminded herself once more, she had done this before, she had endured this before. Even still, a sob caught in her throat as his free hand moved down her body. She had learned the only thing worse than being raped was knowing it would happen again. And again. And again. And again. And no one was there to stop it.


End file.
